There’s a lot that can be said about suicide. And whether you have known people around you who have done it, or are one of the many people who think a suicidal person is a coward or taking the easy way out, you likely have heard or seen something about it. A number of famous people have even committed it.

But why? Why does this happen?

Well, struggling with depression and suicide throughout my life has really come down to answering what is possibly known as ‘The Question’. Most people might phrase it as: Why are we here? But it’s a bit more in depth than that. This question is what people ask themselves when they want to dig a little deeper into their life. Maybe around the time when they are in college and wondering what they want to do with their life.

But really, its a question you can ask yourself at any time. And what happens when you can’t answer it?

Sure the jokes are plentiful that the meaning of life is 42, and that you should put your hopes in faith and religion. But it truly does go deeper than that. The question is kind of a combination of things. What do you want to do with your life? What does it mean to live? Why are we alive? Is this all life is? And, What is my purpose in life? In essence The Question is meant to incorporate all of those.

But no matter how many times you ask yourself those questions. There isn’t some universal truth or response that you are missing. There is no universal answer to those questions. Even why are we alive, or why do we exist. There’s no answer to that question that works for everyone. Instead you have to look at these questions personally. Why am I alive? What is my purpose in life? What does it mean to me to live?

Many, most people even, can answer that question. There’s always something. Maybe its your kid. Maybe its a book. Maybe it is what you want to do in your life, what you want to achieve. Or maybe it is because you can’t leave your family or loved ones behind.

But when you can’t come up with a good or hopeful answer to the question… that is when things start to get tricky.

Not all people who commit suicide are people who can’t answer The Question. But many are. The ones who don’t really accomplish anything in life. They float from one place to another, from one job or school or major to another trying to find themselves. But every time they come to answering that question personally. There’s nothing. What is my purpose in life? There isn’t one.

To add to this, suicide can be thought of as the ultimate in apathy. A point where life seems quite literally meaningless. Is life just all about keeping up with the ouroboros treadmill of working to live and living to work?

Even if it is, many people say the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a job that you love. But what if you don’t care about anything? What if everything gets old or boring for you, eventually? Or what if you can’t get a job with something you love because those jobs don’t exist or are incredibly rare to actually make money from? Or… what if you just don’t have the resolve and the energy to keep up with life?

You probably hear a lot about people always talking about how you should never kill yourself. More often it is a gut reaction, an instinct ingrained in us. We work to preserve life, especially human life. But we don’t always think about the quality of that life. We tell people to get help, and that they shouldn’t do it because we love you! But that doesn’t matter to people considering something like suicide.

Buddhists often repeat the phrase that life is suffering. And that is a core element of human life. If you live, you will suffer at some point, if not frequently. But accepting that you will suffer in life, doesn’t mean you need to surrender yourself. It means you have to understand that suffering, and when you do, you can find aspects of life that are enjoyable, the ‘nirvana’ so-to-speak.

And that’s because life is not ABOUT suffering, it just HAS suffering in it. Just like life isn’t all about the job, or friends, or keeping up with family. These are just aspects of it. The key isn’t to live your life by what other people want, it is to live it by how you can live it.

If you are in a bad situation, especially with family or spouses. Live how you can live it. If you are close to suicide because of that, get out of that situation. You are thinking of suicide because you think there is no way out, but going to 3 towns over and going into a homeless shelter is better than killing yourself, its a different way out. And you just might be surprised by the experiences you get from that.

A lot of suicide survivors will often state that they did it because they felt there was no change to their life. That there was no way out. But there is. The key, is to think outside the bounds of society. We say there is no way out because if we leave where we are we will have no funds and no safety net, but isn’t that better than death?

When it comes to suicide there is always one thing you can say to someone considering it.

“There is another way.”

Sometimes life does suck now. And sometimes you get a horrible hand dealt to you. And instead of stabbing yourself with your cards, throw your hand away and play a new one. Don’t let family or friends or society keep you locked into a life that you hate so much you’d rather kill yourself. I guarantee you can live with the shame or that horrible feeling of turning your back on your family or whoever else.

You always can.