Deepthi’s Comments (group member since Apr 08, 2019)

Deepthi’s comments from the Let's Just Continue Our Conversation xD group.

Allerglance wrote: "*hugs*

We're back at the library again :0"

*hugs tight*
I missed it here... It's good to be back!

Allerglance wrote: "*Yawns*

Not really, we just took a nap and talked in our dreams at discord :]"

Yep ^^

Wow.... This place has been dead for a long time.....

*hugs*

So.. slr...

Hey, Lance :)
Sorta okay, hbu? :)

Though... Tbh...
Now.. I'm more active on Discord, tbh... Discord and Wattpad.........

Allerglance wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "I.. I guess I really wasn't thinking last night.. and vented everything out....
I'm sorry....."

*nods*

Rarely people ever do get to think well at a time like this, it's alright wi..."

I'm not going to lie...
Bad....

Hbu..?

Allerglance wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "*hugs tightly*
I dunno what to say right now.... but okay.....
I'm not ending things right now.... I'm sorry for scaring you...."

*hugs back*

Thank you"

*nods slightly*

I.. I guess I really wasn't thinking last night.. and vented everything out....
I'm sorry.....

*hugs tightly*
I dunno what to say right now.... but okay.....
I'm not ending things right now.... I'm sorry for scaring you....

I'm sorry for spamming.... For venting out everything....
Really....

Also... Since two or three weeks, I've been trying to distance myself from mom....
She isn't even noticing any change.....

Am I so.. clingy and annoying...?

You kept asking me, isn't it...? About what was wrong...
Everything... Music doesn't help me anymore.... Everything's spiralling down....
I'm regretting being born...
Last week, Diya... We had Bio practicals, and they'd given us needles to, you know, separate tissues from some leaf thing... I had been poking my wrist repeatedly, without me noticing it, and.. She noticed it...
I'm thinking about dying for something like nineteen out of twenty four hours.... Every single day.....

It's getting hard to breathe... Every little thing is triggering me... And I'm becoming sensitive to everything...

Am I really so horrible..?
I really am.... isn't it...?

How... How can he just assume something like that...?
And this isn't the first time it's happening... This has been going on since two fucking weeks.....

You know that I have my exams right now, isn't it..? I have History, Civics, Geography and Economics on Friday. My mom and him were talking about who would drop me to school on Friday, and my mom asked him to drop me. I have a habit of explaining all my chapters to her as a sort of revision before the exam, so I prefer her to drop me, at least during exam times... When she told my dad to drop me, I just said, "Amma... You only drop me, it's Social Studies on that day." Hearing that, my dad suddenly got angry, and... he started cursing out.. He was like, "How dare you insult me like that?! You're living in my house, eating my rice, and you dare to insult me like that?! You have no fucking gratitude. That's the problem with you. You aren't grateful. Just go and die somewhere instead of torturing your own parents like this. I can raise two other kids with the money I spend for you, and they'll at least be grateful. We're all taken for granted over here, aren't we?" Then he went on saying what I had against him.. I DON'T have anything against him! I need some quiet and peace to do some last minute revision, otherwise I'll be completely blank at the exam hall.. And he keeps trying to make me talk over there, which results in me not responding properly, and him getting angry, or it results in me talking with him, and messing up my paper...

And I am fucking grateful... for some things. He started talking about how some people were unlucky to not have fathers and all.. I know that. I really do. But he can't go on and assume something out of the box!

Before that, he was talking about some girl, a family friend, who was, apparently, extremely lonely. And then, he again started talking about how lucky I am..
I know this is wrong, but.. I literally had to resist saying that he was so blind as to not notice his only daughter being suicidal, right in front of his eyes. He couldn't see her.
I resist cutting every single day, because.. I haven't told you this.. I'm sorry.. But.. Last week, it happened again... And I almost mutiliated my left leg enough to almost make it need stiches...
But that's not possible, so nevermind that.

But seriously... Right now...
I'm thinking over what he told.. before he went out for a meeting..
I'm thinking about ending it all... If, as he says, I only hurt people, then there really isn't a point of me being here. I'd rather die than hurting the people I love.
And I don't think it'll make any difference in my online life too...
C..Could you look after Felix...? Please.... He needs someone...
Chad and Annie have each other... They'll stay strong...
Iby... I'll ask Annie to look after him...
Irl too.. it won't make a difference...
Gayathri has Disha, Sonal and Chandana too...
Diya has Priyanka....

It really won't matter...
And.. Most probably, it'll also be for the best...
But I'm also scared to end things... Fucking scaredy cat....

Allerglance wrote: "Also, our class played a card game to learn the history of the school :0"

:o
Wow.....

You're lucky, hehe :)

Allerglance wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "How are you?"

I hate spam spread.....


Thought, good!

The prof literally went:"go bring popcorn! Even your breakfast! We're watching a movie next meeting!" XD

sjskskskskskskskk"

Aw :/
You had it for.. dinner?

That's good :)

:o
Man... That guy is too good! XD

Allerglance wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Could i ask for a hug...?"

Of course :]

*hugs*

How's chu today ?"

*hugs back*
Sorta okay...?

Could i ask for a hug...?

How are you?

Allerglance wrote: "Hey there, good luck today even if you don't have exams today

:]"

Had math today XD
Thank you :)

Allerglance wrote: "Have a great day *hugs*"

You too :) <3