Meg
asked
Leena Varghese:
Hi, I asked you a question about perfect mismatch and yes I agree people people can't be defined by labels such as player or virgin- they are much more. I just don't understand- why is it that authors make the heroine virgin and heroes always more sexually experienced? Is it because they think it's ok for men to sleep around but nor women?
Leena Varghese
Dear Megha,
It's a question I have asked myself many times. It's a common trope and quite popular in the genre of romance. Traditionally, a virgin is a symbol of purity and goodness. You will find it in both literature and popular fiction. A player is a symbol of experience (could be good or bad). In most traditional stories, including romances, wherever there is a happy ending it has to be good overcoming evil. Hence the virgin finally gets to tame the player. It is perhaps, in my humble opinion, the collective unconscious desire to have a happy ending where good wins the battle. It is more of a metaphor than anything else.
Perhaps, I am old-fashioned, so many people may disagree with me. I cannot speak for others but I can only write what I am convinced about. I don't think it is OK for anyone to sleep around. Neither men nor women. For me it is more of a spiritual connection than a basic need. I think it takes a lot to be a man of courage and conviction and commitment. In the long run it is a good, honest man who wins my approval, not a player.
So my heroes are usually strong, sensitive men who respect a woman and are fiercely loyal. And my heroines are usually independent, strong characters who stand by their values and not easily broken. Of course, there would be passion and weaknesses and flaws too. Those layers and multi-dimensional characterization adds to the story. For me, as a writer, it cannot be as simple as the virgin and the player. My stories have to be more than that.
It's a question I have asked myself many times. It's a common trope and quite popular in the genre of romance. Traditionally, a virgin is a symbol of purity and goodness. You will find it in both literature and popular fiction. A player is a symbol of experience (could be good or bad). In most traditional stories, including romances, wherever there is a happy ending it has to be good overcoming evil. Hence the virgin finally gets to tame the player. It is perhaps, in my humble opinion, the collective unconscious desire to have a happy ending where good wins the battle. It is more of a metaphor than anything else.
Perhaps, I am old-fashioned, so many people may disagree with me. I cannot speak for others but I can only write what I am convinced about. I don't think it is OK for anyone to sleep around. Neither men nor women. For me it is more of a spiritual connection than a basic need. I think it takes a lot to be a man of courage and conviction and commitment. In the long run it is a good, honest man who wins my approval, not a player.
So my heroes are usually strong, sensitive men who respect a woman and are fiercely loyal. And my heroines are usually independent, strong characters who stand by their values and not easily broken. Of course, there would be passion and weaknesses and flaws too. Those layers and multi-dimensional characterization adds to the story. For me, as a writer, it cannot be as simple as the virgin and the player. My stories have to be more than that.
More Answered Questions
Ravi Bedi
asked
Leena Varghese:
I absolutely agree with your views expressed so eloquently. I,too, came into this world equipped with an umbrella, but with a few holes! I did everything in the creative fields but didn't get anywhere. I thoroughly enjoyed what I've been doing all these years, but how long can one dance on a stage without an audience? If you know what I mean!
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