Suja

Suja asked Andrew Shaffer:

How are you so hilarious? You don't even seem to be trying!

Andrew Shaffer The answer is right there in your question: I don't try. If I tried to be humorous, I would fail miserably and die broken and alone.

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Lancelot Schaubert

Lancelot Schaubert asked Andrew Shaffer:

Hi, me again. I heard you answer emergency taxidermy questions. The hair trigger on our sawed off shotgun went off and blew a hole through this stuffed Bison I’ve been working on for WEEKS and I don’t have a backup hide. If I use the skin of my neighbour’s recently deceased and buried cats, do you think anyone will notice?

Melissa

Melissa asked Andrew Shaffer:

Are you actually Joe Biden? I hope so, how else did you know he dreams about Barack on a unicorn with glitter in its hair?!

Lancelot Schaubert

Lancelot Schaubert asked Andrew Shaffer:

Hi, me again. I heard that you answer emergency medical questions. Went to bathroom just now. Two seizures, broken porcelain trash can, blood everywhere. Do I have the flu?

All answers from Andrew Shaffer…

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