Mya > Mya's Quotes

“Sometimes words are not enough.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.”
― Lemony Snicket

“It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end.”
― Lemony Snicket, The End

“The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.”
― Lemony Snicket , The Bad Beginning

“One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer "a deck of cards" or "Anna Karenina" when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?”
― Lemony Snicket

“There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. ”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

“There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.”
― Lemony Snicket

“But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive - the word "incentive" here means "an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don't want to do - to read long, dull, and difficult books.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.”
― Lemony Snicket

“There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Waiting is one of life’s hardships.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

“It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening.

If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.”
― Lemony Snicket