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  • #1
    Edgar Rice Burroughs
    “In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people, they have no lawyers.”
    Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Princess of Mars

  • #2
    Edgar Rice Burroughs
    “Yes, I was a fool, but I was in love, and though I was suffering the greatest misery I had ever known I would not have had it otherwise for all the riches of Barsoom. Such is love, and such are lovers wherever love is known.”
    Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Princess of Mars

  • #3
    Edgar Rice Burroughs
    “I do not believe that I am made of the stuff which constitutes heroes, because, in all of the hundreds of instances that my voluntary acts have placed me face to face with death, I cannot recall a single one where any alternative step to that I took occurred to me until many hours later. My mind is evidently so constituted that I am subconsciously forced into the path of duty without recourse to tiresome mental processes. However that may be, I have never regretted that cowardice is not optional with me.”
    Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Princess of Mars

  • #4
    Bill Bryson
    “Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result -- eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly -- in you.”
    Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

  • #5
    Bill Bryson
    “It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had once been you.”
    Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

  • #6
    Bill Bryson
    “Tune your television to any channel it doesn't receive and about 1 percent of the dancing static you see is accounted for by this ancient remnant of the Big Bang. The next time you complain that there is nothing on, remember that you can always watch the birth of the universe.”
    Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

  • #7
    Bill Bryson
    “Physics is really nothing more than a search for ultimate simplicity, but so far all we have is a kind of elegant messiness.”
    Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

  • #8
    Bill Bryson
    “You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an average-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 X 10^18 joules of potential energy—enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point.”
    Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

  • #9
    James Dashner
    “If you ain’t scared… you ain’t human.”
    James Dashner, The Maze Runner

  • #10
    James Dashner
    “Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?" Minho asked, pulling Thomas's attention away from Alby.
    "Go ahead," Newt replied.
    Minho nodded and faced the crowd. "Be careful," he said dryly. "Don't die.”
    James Dashner, The Maze Runner

  • #11
    James Dashner
    “Order," Newt continued. "Order. You say that bloody word over and over in your shuck head. Reason we're all sane around here is 'cause we work our butts off and mantain order. Order's the reason we put Ben out--can't have loonies runnin' around tryin' to kill people, now can we? Order. Last thing we need is you screwin' that up.”
    James Dashner, The Maze Runner

  • #12
    Edward Lear
    “The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
    In a beautiful pea-green boat:
    They took some honey, and plenty of money
    Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . .

    They dined on mince and slices of quince,
    Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
    They danced by the light of the moon,
    The moon,
    The moon,

    They danced by the light of the moon.”
    Edward Lear

  • #13
    Edward Lear
    “The Jumblies



    I

    They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
    In a Sieve they went to sea:
    In spite of all their friends could say,
    On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
    In a Sieve they went to sea!
    And when the Sieve turned round and round,
    And every one cried, 'You'll all be drowned!'
    They called aloud, 'Our Sieve ain't big,
    But we don't care a button! we don't care a fig!
    In a Sieve we'll go to sea!'
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
    And they went to sea in a Sieve.


    II

    They sailed away in a Sieve, they did,
    In a Sieve they sailed so fast,
    With only a beautiful pea-green veil
    Tied with a riband by way of a sail,
    To a small tobacco-pipe mast;
    And every one said, who saw them go,
    'O won't they be soon upset, you know!
    For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long,
    And happen what may, it's extremely wrong
    In a Sieve to sail so fast!'
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
    And they went to sea in a Sieve.


    III

    The water it soon came in, it did,
    The water it soon came in;
    So to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
    In a pinky paper all folded neat,
    And they fastened it down with a pin.
    And they passed the night in a crockery-jar,
    And each of them said, 'How wise we are!
    Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
    Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
    While round in our Sieve we spin!'
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
    And they went to sea in a Sieve.


    IV

    And all night long they sailed away;
    And when the sun went down,
    They whistled and warbled a moony song
    To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
    In the shade of the mountains brown.
    'O Timballo! How happy we are,
    When we live in a Sieve and a crockery-jar,
    And all night long in the moonlight pale,
    We sail away with a pea-green sail,
    In the shade of the mountains brown!'
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
    And they went to sea in a Sieve.


    V

    They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
    To a land all covered with trees,
    And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
    And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
    And a hive of silvery Bees.
    And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws,
    And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
    And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
    And no end of Stilton Cheese.
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
    And they went to sea in a Sieve.


    VI

    And in twenty years they all came back,
    In twenty years or more,
    And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
    For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
    And the hills of the Chankly Bore!'
    And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
    Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
    And every one said, 'If we only live,
    We too will go to sea in a Sieve,---
    To the hills of the Chankly Bore!'
    Far and few, far and few,
    Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
    Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
    And they went to sea in a Sieve.”
    Edward Lear

  • #14
    Agatha Christie
    “For in the long run, either through a lie, or through truth, people were bound to give themselves away …”
    Agatha Christie, After the Funeral

  • #15
    Agatha Christie
    “Yes, yes-you will give him the earth-because you love him. Love him too much for safety or for happiness. But you cannot give to people what they are incapable of receiving.”
    Agatha Christie, After the Funeral

  • #16
    Maya Angelou
    “Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.”
    Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

  • #17
    Maya Angelou
    “Anything that works against you can also work for you once you understand the Principle of Reverse.”
    Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

  • #18
    Maya Angelou
    “Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you.”
    Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

  • #19
    Maya Angelou
    “Life is going to give you just what you put in it. Put your whole heart in everything you do, and pray, then you can wait.”
    Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

  • #20
    Maya Angelou
    “A story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, "Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”
    Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

  • #21
    “Don't tell me about the Press. I know *exactly* who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think they *ought* to run the country. The Times is read by the people who actually *do* run the country. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by people who *own* the country. The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by *another* country. The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who think it is.'

    "Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?"

    "Sun readers don't care *who* runs the country - as long as she's got big tits.”
    Antony Jay, Yes Prime Minister: The Diaries of the Right Hon. James Hacker

  • #22
    Walt Whitman
    “Oh, to be alive in such an age, when miracles are everywhere, and every inch of common air throbs a tremendous prophecy, of greater marvels yet to be.”
    Walt Whitman

  • #23
    Bill Bryson
    “And before long there will be no more milk in bottles delivered to the doorstep or sleepy rural pubs, and the countryside will be mostly shopping centers and theme parks. Forgive me. I don't mean to get upset. But you are taking my world away from me, piece by little piece, and sometimes it just pisses me off. Sorry.”
    Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America

  • #24
    Bill Bryson
    “As my father always used to tell me, 'You see, son, there's always someone in the world worse off than you.' And I always used to think, 'So?”
    Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America

  • #25
    Bill Bryson
    “I mused for a few moments on the question of which was worse, to lead a life so boring that you are easily enchanted, or a life so full of stimulus that you are easily bored.”
    Bill Bryson, Lost Continent: Travels In Small-Town America

  • #26
    Charlie Brooker
    “There's a characteristically brilliant Peanuts strip which opens with Linus sitting on the living-room floor, anxiously clutching his mouth. Lucy enters and asks what's wrong. "I'm aware of my tongue," he explains. "It's an awful feeling! Every now and then I become aware that I have a tongue inside my mouth, and then it starts to feel lumped up... I cant's help it... I can't put it out of my mind... I keep thinking about where my tongue would be if I weren't thinking about it, and then I can feel it sort of pressing against my teeth."

    Loudly declaring this the dumbest thing she's ever heard, Lucy scowls away. But a few steps down the corridor, she stops dead in her tracks. She clutches her own mouth. Suddenly she's aware of her tongue too. She runs back and chases him round the room, shouting, "You blockhead!" with her gigantic booming gob.

    Occasionally, late at night, while I'm trying to sleep and failing, I experience someting similar - except instead of being aware of my tongue, I'm aware of my entire body, the entire world, and the whole of reality itself. It's like waking from a dream, or a light going on, or a giant "YOU ARE HERE" sign appearing in the sky. The mere fact that I'm actually real and actually breathing suddenly hits me in the head with a thwack. It leaves me giddy. It causes a brief surge of clammy, bubbling anxiety, like the opening stages of a panic attack. The moment soon passes, but while it lasts it's strangely terrifying.”
    Charlie Brooker, The Hell of It All

  • #27
    Bill Bryson
    “I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.”
    Bill Bryson

  • #28
    Mick Foley
    “A big book is like a serious relationship; it requires a commitment. Not only that, but there's no guarantee that you will enjoy it, or that it will have a happy ending. Kind of like going out with a girl, having to spend time every day with her - with absolutely no guarantee of nailing her in the end. No thanks.”
    Mick Foley

  • #29
    Terry Deary
    “(The ‘Declaration of Independence’ begins: ‘All men are created equal’. What they really meant was ‘All men are created equal – unless they happen to be Indian, black or female’!)”
    Terry Deary, USA

  • #30
    “Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.”
    Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking



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