Amusing Lines Quotes

“I was in the neighborhood," he said, answering the question I was about to ask. His lips twitched. "You know, wandering around, trying to be a hero.”
― Brodi Ashton, Everneath

“So Jason, in England, do you eat these ‘Farmer burgers?’” Wong Tong asked.
“Farmer burgers? I don’t know what they are?”
“Maybe I have the name wrong. I remember the name from the song,” Wong Tong explained.
“What song?” Jason asked.
“You know the ‘E, I, E, I, O’ song.”
‘E, I, E, I, O’ song?
Jason started to roar with laughter. He tried to speak but was laughing, much to the annoyance of Wong Tong. He held his chest, laughing still hurt his ribs.
“You mean the ‘Old Macdonald had a farm’ song. You mean Macdonald’s burgers,” he said, laughing. “Yes, I have had them. They’re good.”
― Mark A. Cooper, Revenge

“The forecast was cloudy with extended periods of consciousness, followed by a stitch in my side and a sense of impending doom swelling to a symphony of demolition”
― Edward Morris, Blood of Eden

“For just a little while, in all our lives, we're granted brief glimpses at the way things really operate. In those times, we learn the hardest lessons. To coin a few phrases, there are none so blind as those who will not see... and sometimes, the sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.”
― Edward Morris, Blood of Eden

“Of this fickle temper he gave a memorable example in Ireland, when sent thither by his father, Henry the Second, with the purpose of buying golden opinions of the inhabitants of that new and important acquisition to the English crown. Upon this occasion the Irish chieftains contended which should first offer to the young Prince their loyal homage and the kiss of peace. But, instead of receiving their salutations with courtesy, John and his petulant attendants could not resist the temptation of pulling the long beards of the Irish chieftains; a conduct which, as might have been expected, was highly resented by these insulted dignitaries, and produced fatal consequences to the English domination in Ireland. It is necessary to keep these inconsistencies of John’s character in view, that the reader may understand his conduct during the present evening.”
― Walter Scott, Ivanhoe

“The elflocks of the crowd were every color of the rainbow, as was the light from their eyes that shone through the mask of the Arkadian winter night. Some of them had wings, but not gauzy gossamer tattooist fabulosities. The wing'd ones among them bore twin sails at their backs, reptilian bat bones folded and hooded just above their heads in taloned, Gothic arches of epidermis.”
― Edward Morris, Blood of Eden

“Ian's eyes settled on him, his expression grim. He bypassed everything, coming to a stop in front of the nervous young male. “I want all of your medicines to relieve fever, including liquids and capsules. Plus, I want a thermometer, the best one you have, and make sure it's not rectal.” He narrowed his eyes at the wide-eyed clerk in front of him. “I don't do rectal, and I won't use anything that involves an ass.”
― Rose Wynters, Voluptuous Vindication

“Never in a million years did she expect to be doing her first real mission with Agent Ace Knight, the number one spy in history!”
― Austin Stack, Kat Doggers: Superspy: Book 1 of the Kat Doggers Series

“The house of God doesn't get terribly good reception, I'm afraid.”
― Philip Hemplow, Ashes

“We picked our noses as children in front of people without shame. Now we just do it in secret as adults.”
― Quinn Loftis, Elfin

“With more than a million Texans licensed to carry handguns, the state is actually far behind Florida, with 1.7 million. "I'm EMBARRASSED," Governor Greg Abbott tweeted in 2015; "Texas #2 in nation for new gun purchases, behind CALIFORNIA. Let's pick up the pace Texans. @NRA”
― Lawrence Wright, God Save Texas: A Journey into the Soul of the Lone Star State