Chavs Quotes

“Do you know what that is, Snow? A flaming pyre, set adrift in the sea. We could do yours in Blackpool, so all your chavvy Normal friends can come.”
― Rainbow Rowell, Carry On

“Allow me to say that if you view highwaymen as legendary and romantic figures, then I’m with you. But let me make it absolutely clear that if you’re a low life thief, beating up old ladies, or you’re stealing from your parents to fund your drug addiction, or you’re some kind of serial mugger, and you’re thinking, “Yeah, Dat’s bangin' mate!! Highwaymen is ol me bledrins, innit! Yo Yo Yo, I have no beef with highwaymen! Innit?” then the difference between a despicable and reprehensible low life like yourself and a gentleman highwayman who was well-dressed, well-mannered, an excellent horseman and who used threats rather than actual violence is wider than the gap between your ears, which trust me is pretty wide.
I’ll give you that as a caveat”
― Karl Wiggins, Wrong Planet - Searching for your Tribe

“It’s been suggested that Chavs are the offspring of previous working-class youth subcultures such as Skinheads and in turn Mods, but when you think about it, they’re not at all, are they? Chavs - with their larger bellies, hairless bodies and excessive sweat glands - are evolution in reverse, proof that given time Homo Sapiens can devolve into a more primitive life form. With Chavs, evolution has not only hesitated but is actually in withdrawal. Chavs may well be the ‘missing link’ in the devolution of man into anthropoid.”
― Karl Wiggins, Wrong Planet - Searching for your Tribe

“It’s almost impossible to prevent Chavs from breeding, but when a Chav reproduces evolution is halted and devolution commences. Chavs truly are the missing link of society”
― Karl Wiggins, Wrong Planet - Searching for your Tribe

“You’re hardly likely to find a Chav mating with a lady of charm, beauty and sophistication, are you? The subsidised breeding farms they live in are unlikely to attract a lady who has cultivated proper deportment, and it’s doubtful she’ll be swayed by his shell suit, Burberry cap and Vauxhall Corsa”
― Karl Wiggins, Wrong Planet - Searching for your Tribe

“As the human race gradually evolves most of us will become beings of light, gradually transparent and invisible to the eye, with little use for human bodies. Chavs on the other hand, will devolve until they eventually learn to breathe through gills again, return to the water and become seaweed or mud.

Darwin would turn in his grave”
― Karl Wiggins, Wrong Planet - Searching for your Tribe

“I’m well aware that it’s been suggested by various left-wing, vegetarian, lycra-wearing do-gooders with their little pimply arses that Chavs are a consequence of a terribly unjust society. From time to time it can seem like an unjust society, no argument there, and Chavs may well be a consequence, but people who lack fire in their belly and an earnest desire to improve their situation should never be permitted to treat that as an excuse. The second they start blaming society is the very second they disempower themselves.”
― Karl Wiggins, Wrong Planet - Searching for your Tribe