Coach Hedge Quotes

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“You sneaked into my cabin?”
Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Percy, you’ll be seventeen in two months. You can’t seriously be worried about getting in trouble with Coach Hedge.”
“Uh, have you seen his baseball bat?”
“Besides, Seaweed Brain, I just thought we could take a walk. We haven’t had any time to be together alone. I want to show you something—my favorite place aboard the ship.”
Percy’s pulse was still in overdrive, but it wasn’t from fear of getting in trouble. “Can I, you know, brush my teeth first?”
“You'd better,” Annabeth said. “Because I’m not kissing you until you do. And brush your hair while you’re at it.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Naturally, Coach Hedge went ballistic; but Percy found it hard to take the satyr seriously since he was barely five feet tall.
"Never in my life!" Coach bellowed, waving his bat and knocking over a plate of apples. "Against the rules! Irresponsible!"
"Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep."
"Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus."
Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll—I'll terminus you, buddy!”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“[Piper] rushed to get dressed. By the time she got up on deck, the others had already gathered—all hastily dressed except for Coach Hedge, who had pulled the night watch.
Frank’s Vancouver Winter Olympics shirt was inside out. Percy wore pajama pants and a bronze breastplate, which was an interesting fashion statement. Hazel’s hair was all blown to one side as though she’d walked through a cyclone; and Leo had accidentally set himself on fire. His T-shirt was in charred tatters. His arms were smoking.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Percy and Hedge lay on the deck, looking exhausted. Hedge was missing his shoes. He grinned at the sky, muttering, “Awesome. Awesome.” Percy was covered in nicks and scratches, like he’d jumped through a window. He didn’t say anything but he grasped Annabeth’s hand weakly as if to say, Be right with you as soon as the world stops spinning.
Leo, Piper, and Jason, who’d been eating in the mess hall, came rushing up the stairs.
“What? What?” Leo cried, holding a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich. “Can’t a guy even take a lunch break? What’s wrong?”
“Followed!” Frank yelled again.
“Followed by what? Jason asked.
“I don’t know!” Frank panted. “Whales? Sea monsters? Maybe Kate and Porky!”
Annabeth wanted to strangle the guy, but she wasn’t sure her hands would fit around his thick neck. “That makes absolutely no sense.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!”
“Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Now-what’s our game plan?”
Coach Hedge belched. He’d already had three espressos and a plate of doughnuts, along with two napkins and another flower from the vase on the table. He would’ve eaten the silverware, except Piper had slapped his hand.
“Climb the mountain,” Hedge said. “Kill everything except Piper’s dad. Leave.”
“Thank you General Eisenhower,” Jason grumbles.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“Coach Hedge grumbled as he tended their wounds. “How come I never get invited on these violent trips?”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Percy looked at Coach Hedge and Frank. “A trap?”
“Probably,” Frank said.
“She’s not mortal,” Hedge said, sniffing the air. “Probably some kind of goat-eating, demigod-destroying fiend from Tartarus.”
“No doubt,” Percy agreed.
“Awesome.” Hedge grinned. “Let’s go.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Annabeth realized that if six of them went on these two quests, it would leave Percy alone on the ship with Coach Hedge, which was maybe not a situation a caring girlfriend should put him in. Nor was she eager to let Percy out of her sight again—not after they’d been apart for so many months.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Anybody have any money?”
Frank checked his pockets. “Three denarii from Camp Jupiter. Five dollars Canadian.”
Hedge patted his gym shorts and pulled out what he found. “Three quarters, two dimes, a rubber band and—score! A piece of celery.”
He started munching on the celery, eyeing the change and the rubber band like they might be next.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Just sit tight. Reinforcements should be here soon. Hopefully nothing happens before-"
Lightning crackled overhead. The wind picked up with a vengeance. Worksheets flew into the Grand Canyon, and the entire bridge shuddered. Kids screamed, stumbling and grabbing the rails.
"I had to say something," Hedge grumbled. He bellowed into his megaphone: "Everyone inside! The cow says moo! Off the skywalk!"
"I thought you said this thing was stable!" Jason shouted over the wind.
"Under normal circumstances," Hedge agreed, "which these aren't.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“I should've blown more stuff up." -Coach Gleeson Hedge”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Before Keto could notice, Hedge pointed towards the top of the amphitheater. It looked like he might be screaming, Gods of Olympus, what is that?
Keto turned. Coach Hedge promptly took off his fake foot and ninja-kicked her in the back of the head with his goat hoof.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“I still don't get it" Coach Hedge muttered as they roamed the centre aisle. "They named a whole town after Leo's table?"
"I think the town was here first, Coach" Nico said.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“Anyway... she knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a horse who knows a goat who knows another horse-”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“Back when I was on my first assignment as a seeker, I was way out in Arizona. Brought in this kid named Clarisse.”

“Clarisse?”

“Sibling of yours,” Hedge said. “Ares kid. Violent. Rude. Lots of potential.”
― Rick Riordan

“Hedge put a drinking straw next to Nico’s mouth. “Have some Gatorade.”
“I-I don’t want-“
“You’ll have some Gatorade,” the coach insisted.
Nico had some Gatorade.”
― Rick Riordan

“Valdez," said Coach Hedge with surprising gentleness. "Let me take the wheel. You've been steering for two hours."
"Two hours?"
"Yeah. Give me the wheel."
"Coach?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"I can't unclench my hands.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Sad to say, in my four-thousand-plus years, the times I'd felt most at home had all happened during the past few months: at Camp Half-Blood, sharing a cabin with my demigod children; at the Waystation with Emma, Jo, Georgina, Leo and Calypso, all of us sitting around the kitchen table chopping vegetables from the garden for dinner; at the Cistern in Palm Springs with Meg, Grover, Mellie, Coach Hedge and a prickly assortment of cactus dryads; and now at Camp Jupiter, where the anxious, grief-stricken Romans, despite their many problems, despite the fact that I brought misery and disaster wherever I went, had welcomed me with respect, a room above their coffee shop and some lovely bed linen to wear.

These places were homes. Whether I deserved to be part of them or not - that was a different question.”
― Rick Riordan, The Tyrant’s Tomb

“Uh, Coach,” Jason said, “that’s a great offer, but we need you to man the ship—or goat the ship. Whatever.”
Hedge scowled. “And let you three have all the fun?”
Percy gripped the satyr’s arm. “Hazel and the others need you here. When they get back, they’ll need your leadership. You’re their rock.”
“Yeah.” Jason managed to keep a straight face. “Leo always says you’re his rock.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“This harpy, Nuggets-- she and Millie go way back. Anyway... she knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a horse who knows a goat who knows another horse--”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“I've got Piper to take care of. That's my priority. I'll leave the rash stuff to other people.”
― Rick Riordan, The Burning Maze

“Valdes," said Coach Hedge with surprising gentleness. "Let me take the wheel. You've been steering for two hours."
"Two hours?"
"Yeah. Give me the wheel."
"Coach?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"I can't unclench my hands.”
― Rick Riordan