Coming Out Stories Quotes

“Amazing how eye and skin color come in many shades yet many think sexuality is just gay or straight.”
― DaShanne Stokes

“Only by speaking out can we create lasting change. And that change begins with coming out.”
― DaShanne Stokes

“There are those from religious backgrounds who resist and oppose LGBT equality; some very obsessively and publicly. They make bold accusations and negative statements about gay and lesbian people, their supposed "lifestyle" and relationships. But when a son, daughter, brother, sister or close friend comes out it is no longer an "issue" it becomes a person. They realise everything they'd said was painfully targeted at someone they love. Then......everything changes.”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning - one man's journey to find the truth

“According to my previous belief system, being a Christian and homosexual was not only incompatible; like heaven and hell, they were in absolute opposition. The constant conflict of being one person inside but presenting another on the outside for twenty-two years eventually took its toll.

The messages I got were loud and clear. Never ever admit to yourself or anyone who you are. Hide it, kill it, eradicate it, heal it, deliver it, break it, suppress it, deny it, marry it to a woman, heterosexualize it, therapy it, anything and everything, but whatever you do don’t stand up one day and say “I am gay” because that will mean the end. I spent most of my life trying to destroy the real me, doing all I could to ensure he never found expression. A suicide of the soul, identity and meaning. When you finally embrace the gift of your sexual orientation it IS the end; the end of shame, fear and oppression. You leave the darkness of the closet and begin a life of honesty, authenticity and freedom.”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning - a journey to find the truth

“Outing someone is like ripping a butterfly from its cocoon. You can damage them for life and rob them of THEIR life changing experience of liberation. For a successful emergence THEY have to struggle through the cocoon of fear and shame. THEN they can fly.”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning - a journey to find the truth

“I just wanted..."

Aaron stepped closer.

"To kiss you good-bye," he finished for Greg.”
― Tibby Armstrong, No Apologies

“If being queer meant loving Aaron, then he'd own the label, at least internally.”
― Tibby Armstrong, No Apologies

“Midlife dynamically, for both straight and gay males, is often challenging as we face the reality that many of the dreams we had for our lives might not become a reality and unresolved conflicts come to the surface. For us to successfully transition in to the next phase of our lives we must find reconciliation of these issues. And for the gay male there is a sense that the gay self we have tried to keep in the closet or so many years begins to scream out. "Time is running out. When do I get to live?" You can't ignore that voice in the end, you can try and suppress it, and you can try and deny it, you can try and silence it by filling your life with other noises and diverting attention ......but that voice still exists. "Will my entire life be a lie?”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning - a journey to find the truth

“But thats their image of us so we stay tense, holding our breath, hoping we wont be found out. - about being gay from the film Love My Life”
― Ebine Yamaji, Love My Life

“I wasn’t empty because I was abandoned by others, but because I had abandoned myself. Who I am was repressed—collateral damage in a longterm coping mechanism gone unchecked. My subconscious had put up partitions to contain the flood of emotion in the wake of trauma but in doing so my identity was trapped and locked away as well. Everything that is repressed would one day come forward­—without warning, without control, and without a shutoff valve.”
― L.M. Browning, Drive Through the Night

“You may feel like your future is slipping from your grasp, that if you don’t rush now to greet your dreams you might lose out on them, but please wait. If you are coming from an unsupportive environment with regards to your sexual orientation, the best thing to do is to establish your independence. Make sure you have a support network of loving and loyal friends. Make sure you have somewhere to live. Make sure you have an income to sustain you. Place a premium on your life. Always, always place a premium on your life.

When all these elements have been configured and your psychic compass is at the ready, go forth in the knowledge that you’ve created a self-preserving future for yourself. Go forth in the knowledge that you have a safe space to call home. Go forth in the knowledge that not only are you kicking ass but you are kicking ass on a major scale. Go forth in the knowledge that not only are you winning at life but you have already won.”
― Diriye Osman

“The silence was pregnant with noise, with muted fury, with questions the father found too disgusting to frame and with answers to which the son was incapable of giving voice.”
― Johnny Rich, The Human Script

“I'm finally coming to terms with the unalloyed insanity of being a writer. Now that's coming out.”
― A.K. Kuykendall

“My transformation, thanks in part to Adrienne Rich, was easier than hers had been.”
― Alison Bechdel, The Secret to Superhuman Strength

“Sometimes people tell me they don’t want to label themselves by their sexual orientation.

I used to reject my gay identity. In fact I did everything to try and annihilate it. The last thing I would ever do would be to say...... “I’m gay”. Taking ownership of that was a terrifying thought and I believed it had tragic long-term as well as eternal consequences.

The closest I ever got to acknowledging my true orientation was admitting I had “a homosexual problem”. Accepting who I was, was a loooong journey. And once I’d accepted then learning to embrace and celebrate being gay.

We have multi identities. We can have different identities in different contexts. In some contexts some identities are paramount and others irrelevant. The highly self-aware person is conscious of the various identities but manages them wisely, recognizing each one is a part of the whole.

Personally, I’m proud to be a homosexual. No more shame, denial or secrecy. The shame has been washed away by self-acceptance and self-hatred replaced with self-love.

I am gay. Always have been gay. Always will be.”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning – a preacher's struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith

“I've learned to reframe telling people as inviting in, instead of coming out”
― Lamya H