Double Entendre Quotes

“Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.”
― Mae West, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.”
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.”
― L. Frank Baum

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.”
― Zsa Zsa Gabor

“She leaned into him to soak up his warmth.
"You are so hot," she said.
"It's about time you noticed," he teased.”
― C.C. Hunter, Awake at Dawn

“I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.”
― Craig Ferguson

“He's the sort of guy that gets a laugh out of people.”
― Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

“Tis better to have love and lust
Than to let our apparatus rust.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

“You’re terrible at this whole ‘tell me whatever I want to know’ thing.” My hand goes to the crossbow, but I don’t pick it up.

He sighs. “Just ask me something. Ask about my tail. Don’t you want to see it?” He raises his brows.”
― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

“He nodded to my fiddle case. "Why didn't you come play with me?" Immediately he rolled his eyes at himself. "That's not what I meant."
I didn't point out that if he was constantly hearing double entendres in his own words, he had a dirtier mind than he wanted to let on. Sam having a dirty mind was okay with me. It was adorable, actually, as long as his mind was on me.”
― Jennifer Echols, Dirty Little Secret

“Why don't you and I have a nice penetrating man-to-man conversation?”
― Sanami Matoh, Fake, Volume 04

“Fuck you.”

Finn glanced her over, once, leisurely, and when his eyes returned to her flushed and angry face, he said, “You certainly did.”
― Nenia Campbell, Star Crossed

“With a low sound, he moved against her so that her backside was flush with his hips and she could feel every inch of him through his boxers.

There were a lot of inches.”
― Nenia Campbell, Star Crossed

“He, as he told his tale, did not look her in the face, but sat with his eyes fixed upon her muff.”
― Anthony Trollope, The Last Chronicle of Barset

“He also said that leaving you when he did is one of the hardest things he's ever done. He placed special emphasis on the word hardest, but out of concern for my own sanity, I refuse to analyze why that might be."
My cheeks flamed at the double entendre.”
― Jenna Levine, My Vampire Plus-One

“Get down off ‘at cross;
Somebody needs the wood!”
― Dolly Parton

“What’s a blow job?” Trevor asked, looking at both of us and setting the pumpkin down.

“Um,” I said. Having never dealt with children, I decided to let the seasoned expert handle this one.

“Bryce was talking about them but he didn’t seem to really know either,” Trevor added.
“It’s a … joke,” Faisal said. “Just a joke.”
“Like a gag?”
Faisal opened his mouth to say something but just nodded for a second before saying, “That’s definitely one way of looking at it, yes.”
“I heard a pretty good blow job earlier,” Trevor said.”
― Tyler James Smith, Unstoppable Moses

“Lorraine"Goldie Showers"Showalter was past her prime.Once a fair skinned Las Vegas showgirl,now a lonely and love starved woman.The years of relentless sunshine discolored her previous lovely skin from pink to saddle-back orange.Her hair color came from a bottle as did her sharp tongue.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
"Wilbur will when nobody will”
― Marc M. Minnick

“When most of the football players had left the closet, it was safe enough to pick my material.”
― Jason June, Jay's Gay Agenda

“He was HOT. I sometimes forgot that since I'd been careful to shove him in the "boss box".”
― Ella Frank, Bad Intentions

“How does it feel to be the one us kitchen guys sweat over?"
I parsed through his question, trying to decide if the double entendre had been intentional. But one look at his face---full-on man smolder---and I realized that it had.”
― Hillary Manton Lodge, A Table by the Window

“Bridge. Ha!.."
"Have you ever played?"
"I don't play anyone's games, especially hers...”
― Brooke Lea Foster, Summer Darlings

“No Throat So Deep by Stewart Stafford

“I'd like you to meet Mrs Koch-Gobbelaar,”
I weighed up the overture long and hard,
"I'm licking my lips without drool!" I replied,
“Amazeballs!” he said, “Tonight, you'll meet.”

We came early, but she didn’t take umbrage,
“Spread out all over my ballroom,” she said,
She told us how the rooms were hanging,
Up the elevator shaft to the top floor and left.

Mrs Koch-Gobbelaar made vegetarian claims,
But we found her smuggled stash of beef jerky,
Her ex-husband split and became a eunuch,
He died bone-tired with limp alibis on his urn.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Mr Grant, who did not understand his cousin's peculiar devotion to this form of mental stimulus, was ready enough to ride on a cock two or three times, but felt a distinct uneasiness at the form of half a crown's worth of this exercise. However Delia looked so happy and so pretty, with the flush of excitement on her face, that he determined to endure as long as possible.”
― Angela Thirkell, The Brandons

“MAKE ALL THE POUR DECISIONS YOU WANT”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“GOING FROM BAD TO WORSE DEMANDS A REHEARSAL”
― Lynn Byk

“Good night, Amelia," he said, his voice smooth as silk. He was still holding my hand. He didn't seem inclined to let it go, even though he'd just said he needed to leave. "I look forward to faking it with you."
If it was possible to spontaneously burst into flames, that little double entendre would have done it for me right then and there. Reggie's grin was absolutely wicked, as if he knew exactly what his joke was doing to me.
My voice sounded like it was coming from far away when I said, before I could stop myself, "I look forward to faking it with you, too.”
― Jenna Levine, My Vampire Plus-One

“Speed up the erection!”
― Joseph Green, The Mind Behind the Eye

“Two halves of a whole ass make an ass whole.”
― Michael Palmero