Hitchiker Quotes

“Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoints would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpointoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint equivalent of the good life.

And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon he was taken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Tale of the Holy Hitchhiker by Stewart Stafford

A motorist drives by the Blue Church,
Of left-handed compliments,
And omnipresent righteous sins,
Where the Holy Hitchhiker dwells.

Waiting for God at the stop sign,
No thumbs, he blesses passing cars,
Chanting his destination's directions,
Then going into silent meditation.

A fated pause at the railway crossing,
Purgatory train takes an eternity to go by,
Time for confessional contemplation,
Swift redemption with the accelerator.

Thankful prayers at the journey's end,
Payment made as alms for the poor,
Then a smile as he vanishes into light,
The driver sees the Blue Church again.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford