I find the attitude of submission in the Amish quite difficult to read about, particularly when older unmarried or widowed women are under their father's rules when they're in their thirties and forties just because they don't have a husband to "guide" them. I imagine that in a lot of families, men and women make decisions together but it is the husband who puts them into practice or informs others of them, but there are always those who will take advantage of their headship of the family, so speak. There are many Christians who aren't Amish who practice similar styles of submission, and so long as they're happy with their situation, I suppose we can't judge, but I would hate to think that a woman was unhappy in her position but feels she should be there because that's what she's been taught is right.
Personally, since I was taught to be responsible and make decisions for myself from the age of sixteen, even when I was living at home or when my parents were helping me pay my way through university, I find it kind of surreal to read Amish books where women have decisions made for them or their fathers veto certain things because they don't feel they're appropriate! So I do struggle with the patriarchal side of the Amish faith. Me and my husband make decisions together, as a couple, and I do give him the final say on some things that he knows more about (like buying a new computer, or fixing a tap, etc) but then he also lets me take charge of things I know or care more about (grocery shopping, decorating). I think we each have our own skills, but these might not necessarily be the typical skills associated with our genders. Like, my husband LOVES to cook, and I do a lot of our budgeting, which would make some Amish folk faint, I imagine ;)
Okay, I've rambled on. I think if me and my husband were Amish, I wouldn't mind if people thought he made all the decisions as long as we did actually talk about them and agree on them, but I couldn't handle a marriage where my opinion didn't count just because I'm female. There are some things I love about the Amish, but there are a lot of things I couldn't take on myself.
Personally, since I was taught to be responsible and make decisions for myself from the age of sixteen, even when I was living at home or when my parents were helping me pay my way through university, I find it kind of surreal to read Amish books where women have decisions made for them or their fathers veto certain things because they don't feel they're appropriate! So I do struggle with the patriarchal side of the Amish faith. Me and my husband make decisions together, as a couple, and I do give him the final say on some things that he knows more about (like buying a new computer, or fixing a tap, etc) but then he also lets me take charge of things I know or care more about (grocery shopping, decorating). I think we each have our own skills, but these might not necessarily be the typical skills associated with our genders. Like, my husband LOVES to cook, and I do a lot of our budgeting, which would make some Amish folk faint, I imagine ;)
Okay, I've rambled on. I think if me and my husband were Amish, I wouldn't mind if people thought he made all the decisions as long as we did actually talk about them and agree on them, but I couldn't handle a marriage where my opinion didn't count just because I'm female. There are some things I love about the Amish, but there are a lot of things I couldn't take on myself.