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Hi, Emma, pardon me for intruding and I probably don't know enough about the situation to say anything...Heck, I don't want to pry if it's a sensitive subject.
But, I sympathize...being told you don't understand, whether it be because of age, background, or lack or a load of experience is painful. And then you begin to loath yourself and them for putting you down. But, it's like you can't help having your heart broken over and over because the moment that person smiles or even gives you sweet words, it's like the scars are gone...
I mean, I'm So sorry if that isn't how you feel or what you are going through. I don't want to put words in your mouth or intrude.
it's just when you said, "he thinks I'm too stupid to understand love...you won't even tell me that I'm stupid,
it resonated with some past interactions I had. I mean if this person is here reading this now...well, I can't say anything because I don't know anyone nor do I desire to form an opinion on who's at fault or who's not giving a proper reaction.
I just want to quote Buddha, in saying that no love is no greater or lower than your love. And even though the cycle of falling in and out, being cut and embraced seems endless, you just want that final blow to come so that you can finally let go... Your happiness/love for yourself is the only thing that matters. You are no lesser and no better than the one who harmed/embraced you...And I'm sorry for going on about something I don't know. But, Emma I think that you are a beautiful person for just talking about it rather than letting it fester.
Peter wrote: "That was very kind of you Elysia :)"~Thanks Peter, I'm glad that you could see it that way. :)
Emma wrote: "Thank you...it helped a lot what you said. :)"And Emma, I meant every word that I said...I mean I have a tendency to open my mouth and say a lot of **** that get's me in trouble sometimes...But, It's hard for me to just not be honest.
But, Honestly speaking, I wish for you to experience a love that does not demean or Smoother you. And if little ole charming doesn't come strolling on by with roses or chocolates maybe people "here" and in your life can carry you close to cloud nine. I wish you the best Emma.
Peter wrote: "Do you enjoy helping people?" Not really...but, it's like if I see someone who's hurt or in pain it becomes a knee-jerk reaction and I just can't stop but act...I mean thinking of what Emma said, "about not knowing about love..." or something close to that hit home.
I mean not to discredit her or any one for that matter. I'm sure at one point someone was called stupid, or cold, or just ugly by someone because they lacked something. I know I have.
and it's like everytime I see that it breaks open a dam, and if I can't close mine it floods, and if I see someone drowning I begin to flood.
it's confusing answer and maybe the reason why I do what I do is selfish. but, I know that if it were me, I'd be happy if someone tried to save me. :)
Peter wrote: "Little ole charming can't come strolling by as far as I know from what Emma has told me xD"hmm, I don't know about that. maybe, Emma's "past Charming" may not come back, nor-not to be cold, because I have clue or desire to know what is going on (it's private)-but every one...or most deserves their chance at happiness...unless they are a remorseless, destructive sociopath. but, yeah, everyone deserves a chance.
Hi Emma,
it's me again...I don't know why but I keep being dragged or rather drawn back to you. I'm so sorry for this...and I know that it will not immediately heal the rift in your heart.
maybe, Peter is right in saying he is afraid to love you and maybe you are right to say that fear shouldn't conquer love.
not to romanticize it, maybe what's going on is something like Romeo and juliet? perhaps something is keeping him from properly showing you affection...and maybe he needs time.BUT is this the sort of fellow that you would deceive yourself and others, like romeo and juliet, to end up meeting in death?
or maybe, he's being to passive for you...? I don't know, nor can I say or want to know.
Nonetheless, I don't want to see a tragedy befall anyone. either by lack of initiative or by manipulation.especially, the last...but I do know that at the end of all great hardships there lies an end. Some are pleasant and some are painful, but I find it's in our ability to continue that we find our own "happy endings".
I know the that sounds like a load of bull, Emma, and trust me when I say this, "I've definitely have spent time getting others to make me a happy story." But, I've found it never lasted, I needed more, or it was just plain cruddy.
Heck, I've even isolated myself from people so that I could slip deeper into my own little "happy world". but, it never lasts. and Nor does heart-break.
so, pardon me for asking, Emma, would you make a tragedy for a guy you claim cannot love you if he is afraid-your words to Peter-or would you spend time in hell like Dido did for Aeneas, or simply put without the literature references...do you think love story can continue when the one you love sees you being cut-up continuously without giving you comfort and affection?
I don't think I could and honestly, I would want revenge...Not that I'm telling you to go medieval on this guy. I'm not. it's just love should not hurt.
Peter wrote: "As much as that was kind of you, I don't think that was good advice..."Peter thank you for providing looking out for Emma and for trying to advise me in how I should condone myself. But, I was not trying to give Emma advice. I would never try to give advice to someone I have just met. But, rather, I was trying to get her to re-evaluate things.
Like, how you said, "maybe he's too afraid to love you" and how emma responded well if he is afraid to love me that is not love.
I then continue by stating a whole bunch of what Ifs for Emma and citing some literary examples and brining up my reactions to similar circumstances. But, never did I say, Emma you should do this or that". Simply, I asked if this situation was worth her pain and that I did not want to see her in pain.
maybe, I should not have made those references, and maybe the the way I type is confusing.
nevertheless, Emma I want you to go back to your interaction with Peter, when he said, "maybe he is afraid to love you" and I want you to think about your response. "if he is afraid then, that is not love".To me, Emma, that says a lot of things. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life because that's no way to live.
but, I want you to think, Why did I say that? and what is it that I want? And most importantly is this relationship an equal give and take?
Emma,I feel like I've been getting closer and closer to you over the past few days. But, by no means does it mean I can tell you what the right choice would be for you. All I can do is listen and tell you how I feel if I encountered similar situations.
nevertheless, If maybe providing a listening ear may help you. I'll do that.
Emma wrote: "Starting Sunday, I won't be on GR for about three weeks. I'll miss you guys."Awwwww....noooooooooooooo
='(
<3
Well, have fun...
But you'll be back, right??
Yay!! Hey, did we ever finish the Quest w/ Storm?
The evil spider is gone...I think we're at the last part...the Ring, I think?
Yup...we were just about to take Collin back to CBH. It's crazy how I still remember all of that. XD
I have no idea. But then again, I haven't seen Stormie on in quite a while. Have you?
Think you have a little time to RP for a bit before you leave?
Sure! Let's do it!
Emmapoooooo. Just pm me your number please, my phone broke and the app is not letting me send messages.
Rex wrote: "I will not be able to SEND you my ##"You're not Emma...
Emma wrote: "It's been four years since I was last on this...I had even forgotten the title of this journal yet when I looked through the archives somehow the name clicked in my mind. At first, I thought it had..."Hello :)
You're the last person I ever expected to see here
Also, regarding your first post in 4 years. I care and I'm sorry I haven't come on here in over two months. I truly am sorry for everything. I missed you and more than anything, I wish we could be friends again.
