Under The Sun Every Day Just Comes & Goes discussion

Alright so now while I don’t really condone cheating I do condone doing the least amount of work possible for the just good enough grades. But now that I’m not in school my years of getting by without doing any real work is being wasted. So I have made a tiny list to help people basically… Cheat.

Keep in mind please this is really just to make fun of myself and all the stupid shit I did just to get better grades than an F without doing actual work. It has more comic value then anything else.

Lesson #1 Book Reports

Alright here is how to do a book report without actually reading the book.

Lesson 1.a: Openings
The openings are fairly simple. Just mention the genre. For example one of my favorite things to read is romance. So here is a good opening for romance, “She loves him, he loves her, neither will admit to it. But when a romance brews, neither can deny it.” I admit not my best but I’m not the one taking notes am I? Yeah I see you with your pen and note pad. Anyway another good opening this one from another of my favorite genres is, “Bullets are flying, a mob assassin is on the loose, one detective stands in his way. The suspense is killing me. As the bullets are killing the assassin’s enemies.” Hmm… I’m losing my touch I think.

Lesson 1.b: the rest of paragraph 1; Repeat after me “I hated it”
That’s really it. Just say how much you hated it over and over. But say it differently each time. You can’t just say oh I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. That obviously won’t work. But if you say something like, “So the book I read was book title here. It was truly horrid. So horrid in fact I can honestly say I hated it. If this is The Author’s name here’s best then I have no doubt I will hate his/her other books with equal distaste.”

Lesson 1.c: Characters

Okay so next you’re going to have to write about characters. Because let’s face it characters are what makes or breaks a book. Now the only character that really needs any writing is the main character so make sure you know his/her full name. Alright once you have their name start complaining. The simplest thing to complain about would have to be that they’re annoying. Calling a book character annoying isn’t much of a stretch for most books.

Examples; Bella from Twilight? Annoying. Paul Shelden from Misery? Annoying. Victor Frankenstein from Frankenstein? The Most Annoying Book Character Ever. You could also say they’re wimps. Again not much of a stretch for most books. Harry Potter from yeah Harry Potter? Wimp. Stanley Yelnats from Holes? Wimp. Edward from Twilight? Dude… he sparkled… WIMP! Basically every female character in romance novels. See? Not much of a stretch.

Lesson 1.d Setting

Setting is both much harder and much simpler to do than the rest. Mostly cause let’s face it you didn’t read the book. So you have no idea where it’s based unless it says it on the back. But as long as you don’t try to name said book setting you should be good. Okay what you’re going to do is complain about how it’s described. Say it wasn’t described well enough for your taste or that it was described too much and that took away from the story. Rather simple really.

Lesson 1.e: Storytelling
Alright so this is the part that could make or break your entire report. That’s why I say leave that to the experts; selling how much you hate a book you've never read do to storytelling is not something done by beginners. That is best left to the pros such as myself to do. It has a crazy way of coming back to bite you on the ass if you fuck up.

Lesson End: Final Words

I want to make sure you know right now I am not promising good grades but just enough to get by. This will you get at the most of a B- and that’s if you’re lucky. 90% of the time you’ll get a C. If you want an A my only advice is too… read the damn book.

That is fantastic.

Actually, if you want an A you don't have to rad the book. (:

Do tell DOne.

Oh I shall!

Except I'm babysitting my nephew and all I have is my phone so that might have to wait a while.

Oh I see.