VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE discussion

Have you read any of those books? Discusss here..

Actually, yes. All four of them. A friend "made me" read them. What can I say? I was curious and wanted to see what the fuss was all about...

This clip (also posted elsewhere) pretty much summs up my opinion of the series:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwM3G...

Again, Love that video, Rita.

I read the first book just for research purposes. After discovering how bad the first book is, I decided to never read any of the rest of them. Well, here's how I sum up all 498 pages of that crap...


Qoute from the bible.
A lot of strange talk about death and "a hunter".
Total idiot named Bella Swan moves to boring ass town even though she doesn't really have to.
She describes herself as plain and ordinary even though every guy in school wants to get in her pants.
Bella meets Edward Cullen.
Bella: "Edward you're so hot"
Edward:"Stay away from me I'm dangerous"
Bella:"Topaz eyes, your so hot"
Edward:"I'm dangerous"
Bella: "Your butterscotch eyes are so hot"
Edward: "It's best if we don't be friends, I'm a total dick"
Bella goes and researches vampires on the internet
Bella:"Oh my god thats what Edward is, I'm in love with him"
Edward and Bella go and run around in the woods.
Vampires can't go into the sunlight because.....They fucking Sparkle!!!
The word Chagrin is used way to many times.
VAMPIRE BASEBALL!!!!!!!!!!! (I wish I was kidding)
Bad-ass vampires show up...*gasp*...an actual plot arrives.
Bella gets the shit beat out of her.
Plot takes drunken turn into a ditch.
Bella goes to the hospital.
Bella and Edward go to the prom.
THE END

I'm attaching a link to a great site. The Editing Room writes "abridged" scripts for movies, and they are hysterical! I'm linking the one for Twilight, but I encourage you to read the scripts for the rest of the Twilight saga. They are some of the funniest things I've read in quite a while.

http://www.the-editing-room.com/twili...

Holding my personal feelings aside about the Author, the writing is sub-par and the fact that American teenagers devour this **** makes me livid.
Where are the positive female role models in our (vampire)entertainment!? I guess they faded with one Miss Buffy Summers.
the fact that Bella let someone other than herself to dictate how she should feel makes me sick as a parent.

Bella is what is referred to in litereture a "Mary Sue". From what I have read, a Mary Sue is a when an author creates a female character in which they can insert themselves into. It is a disguised "wish fulfillment" fantasy created by the author. So basically, Bella is an empty shell for Meyer to live out her sick, perverted fantasy through. I am still studying this and am writing about it in a little essay called "A list of reasons why I hate Twilight". I was going to originally post it on another website and call it "Stephenie Meyer I hope you're reading this" because I read she likes to google herself and, yes maybe it is mean, but I want her to google herself and read it. I've decided to keep working on it in my free time and post it in this group. This will take some time and a lot of work, but I've decided to finish it and plan on posting it here.

As I already posted in my comment to the Introductions thread, I indeed have read the complete Saga:

"As you can easily check I rated Twilight 5 stars, but I am not a fan. I enjoyed reading it back then, as it was something new, but afterwards forgot about it and went on to the next book. Later, I tried the first movie and hated it, and I definitely can't understand the hype with so many other good books out there. Also, I think of Twilight as a trilogy, as I consider the fourth part a huge mistake.

Today I feel tempted to give a lower rating just to distance myself from the Twilight groupies, but that wouldn't be honest, so live with it! :["

As much as I wonder about the Twilight hype, it also amazes me how much energy people spend telling why they hate this book so much. It just seems like a waste of time to me, though I can partially understand the fun it makes to bitch about something.

Anyway, reading Twilight related comments always makes me smile :)

LOL...I don't like to think that we "bitch" about it or "waste time". I like to think of this more as "Therapy". Some of us feel bombarded by all the undeserved Twilight hype, also we feel that Stephenie Meyer has bastardized the vampire. sure it's okay to try something different ever now and then, but it's another thing entirely to ruin it.

Dan wrote: "LOL...I don't like to think that we "bitch" about it or "waste time". I like to think of this more as "Therapy". Some of us feel bombarded by all the undeserved Twilight hype, also we feel that St..."

I understand what you say, and don't take my comment too seriously (as I'm sure you don't when I see your LOL). However, I like the idea of considering this as therapy. I guess mine is to just laugh about it. What else can I do - I'm kind of in a catch-22 because I enjoyed the series back when I read it, but reject the hype, so I try to stay in the neutral zone.

Oh, don't worry about it. I didn't take it to seriously. Whether your here as "therapy" or just to laugh it's all good. I want this group to be fun. LOL.

ROFLMFAO!!!!! This is great!!! If you have not read the books, this pretty much explains it all...

http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twili...

I read the books as well, I love all things vampire. I have to say I was swept up in the we love twilight thing as well, I did enjoy the books I like it when vampire lore is challenged. I have to agree though that the writing is terrible, and I agree with the assessment of the characters I have seen here. Twilight seemed to fill a need it must have to take off like it did much like 50 shades of grey ( which I have not and will not read) it really interests me as to why. I am guessing it is because of the love story???

Interesting, Joanne. I don't know why it's so popular. Did you know that Fifty Shades of Grey was originally Twilight fanfiction??

Oh wow no I didn't know that - maybe the same people are reading both!! Just goes to show you there is something there now if we could just figure it out?

Joanne wrote: "Oh wow no I didn't know that - maybe the same people are reading both!! Just goes to show you there is something there now if we could just figure it out?"

Yes Fifty Shades of Grey was originally just Edward Cullen doing kinky shit to Bella Swan. The author just changed the names of the characters and took out the stuff about vampires and werewolves.

That's is bad is one someone sent me a link to the beginning of a porn move for Twilight. In it when he whips is member out. Is member is what sparkles as he tells Belle, "This, this is a cock of a killer." It was so damn funny I about wet myself. I didn’t watch the porn movie just that part, but I was forced to forward it to all the Twilight fans I know.

Wow I had no idea. Well that answers that question he sparkles everywhere. Now I am stuck with is skin is diamond hard"" from another thread!!!

@ E.B.-way too funny.
@Joanne-Yup! I thought it says that in the other books?

The name of the film is Twilight XXX... you dont have to watch the porn... if you dont want to. Just watch the begining, but make sure you pee before you do.

HAHAHAHA!!!!!

I HATE THIS SERIES...I DISLIKE THIS SERIES!!!! uGH...BELLA IS SO WHINY AND SELFISH AND EDWARD IS STALKER BF AND VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE!!! UGH!!! *sits in a corner*
I'm done. *smiles*

Welcome to the group, Bre. I totally agree with you!!

Bre~chan wrote: "I HATE THIS SERIES...I DISLIKE THIS SERIES!!!! uGH...BELLA IS SO WHINY AND SELFISH AND EDWARD IS STALKER BF AND VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE!!! UGH!!! *sits in a corner*
I'm done. *smiles*"
LOL!!! That was priceless! :)