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Surviving the Fourth Cycle
SURVIVING THE FOURTH CYCLE
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CHAPTER 09
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Is It Harder To Have Agoraphobia When You Have Children
" I cover my head, wear earplugs (sounds are intolerable at times), and weave in and out of fugue-states, tapping my head and counting in a crazed effort to hide from the biting reality all around me.
At times like this, I pity my girlfriend for having to be seen with me… for having to love me.
Obviously, I don’t want my five-year-old son to see his daddy… his hero, acting so bizarre. So weak."
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“I was imagining the skating rink with its multi-colored strobe lights, disco balls, and pounding music that would dilate my ear canals with each rhythmic thud. There would be a hundred kids screaming and laughing, while their parents itched for empty conversation.
I had to sit on the edge of my bed, and rock back and forth, just thinking about it… I had to try though.”