Indie Book Club discussion

Congrats to Thaddeus for winning this month. Excellent show of sportmanship by A.L. in conceding the tie. Everyone enjoy the book this month.

I will get to this shortly. I haven't read book 1 yet so should read that as well at some point:)

I picked up this and Book 1, will start on them when I finish the r and r I'm doing right now.

Thanks to those who voted, and especially to my favourite ninja. I just hope you don't think it's a steaming pile of horse manure... or this topic could get awfully awkward :p

I am sure it is great, Thaddeus. I honestly don't mind, or I wouldn't have suggested it. I can wait a month or two:) I just finished my last book so will start this shortly.

I actually read this one, so I can finally join into a monthly book conversation again!

Very nice of you indeed, A. L. :)

No problem.

Just picked this up on Smashwords so I can participate in this BOTM discussion. I've been meaning to check this book out for a while, and now have an excuse to do so. ;) I will get right on this once I'm done the book I'm currently going through.

Just read the first chapter and... I am hooked. :) The banter between the characters is thus far wonderfully humorous, and the prose and magnificently flavourful. The characters are (so far) people that I want to learn more about, giving just enough depth and differentiation between them that I can see them all serving a greater purpose in the story that is soon to unfold. They say that the first chapter is the most important, as if should hook your readers. This chapter 1 is a classic example of a job well done. :) I look forward to where the story will go.

Thanks :)

I did change the start a bit, and ended up chopping off an earlier draft start, which may have made the actual beginning a bit abrupt (hopefully in a good way).

So, there used to be more build up before they leave on their "quest?" Interesting... because, though the beginning was engaging and wonderful, I do feel (personally) that it was missing some build up / back-story development, but maybe that will be rectified as the story progresses.

I did fiddle with the beginning a bit (I find them harder than ends by a long way). The bit I chopped off was actually the dream Thaddeus had. In an earlier version there was more build-up in a scene-setting, er, scene. It was a bit lacklustre, though, which is why I didn't stick with it.

Cool. By the way, I love how he is asked what he was up to last night, and he says so calmly "killing my sister" as if it were nothing at all. Just another day in the park, eh. And then, his sister, despite being dead, is enjoying breakfast downstairs. Hilarious.

The POV is interesting. I can't tell whether it jumps between all the characters of the party or the not-oft used third-person omniscient POV is being employed. Either way, it works seemlessly.

Personally, I'm a total Kuhrisch fangirl. I know we've talked a little about them, Thaddeus, but I'm curious to know more about your inspiration and goals for them.

Mia (Maja in Kuhrisch :p), the Kuhrisch are a mixture of a few different ideas. I wanted to try and imagine a medieval-era culture that had almost zero hierarchy (there's some, with Godi, elders and outcasts, but really not much), because when I was doing the background of Felaria and Denland it struck me how hierarchical everything was.

The Kuhrland is seen as a country, but it's united by culture rather than politics (because, having great equality [mostly] there are no lords or kings). It's quite tricky but interesting to consider how that would work in reality. I aimed to represent how that might lead to great personal freedom, but downsides too (epitomised by the chat in the Gotthaus on the way to Kemelheim).

Name-wise, it's mostly German and Gothic (although Godi is an Icelandic term, which I borrowed from Njal's Saga and changed a bit). Fritigern and Athanaric are both Gothic names.

I'm still finishing up another R and R; will get to this and book 1 as soon as I'm done.

Thanks, Thaddeus! Yeah, I get a very Norse feel to them, which I think is why I like them so much.

I might have to start signing things with Maja just to confuse people.

About to start this:)

It is strange to me how often the main character(s)/protagonist(s) are less interesting than side characters in many books. This book is much the same, to me. I love Pretty Pierre and Roger the Goat. Also, those names are strangely amazing. ;) The Goat is a likeable bastard type of character.

Daniel, I actually said the same thing in my review when I read it a few months ago. I mean, I liked the main characters well enough, but I really liked Pretty Pierre and Roger is certainly...colorful. ;) But it was Fritigern and Anja I really liked. (Kuhrisch, I know, no one is surprised...) Although in my case, I think I didn't like Pierre as much until latter portions of the book.

I am finished the book just as some people are starting it. Fun times. Was a pretty good book, and I now must go back and read Bane of Souls. I like the flavourful writing style and witty character interaction. The rampant use of passive voice was interesting. It worked at times, but sometimes it left me a little unengaged. The ending especially felt a little rushed and wasn't super engaging. It could just be me, but I think it might have almost been better with just a short wrap up scene with them just outside the city vs. fast-tracking the trek back.

Despite this, it is a solid read, to be sure. The characters are definitely the selling feature here.

Roger was the most fun character to write. I'm glad that he's been pretty well-received, given he has practically no redeeming features.

I tried to correct for things people either disliked or thought could be improved in Bane of Souls, and will aim to do that for Kingdom Asunder (the next book in the same world) given the constructive criticism Journey to Altmortis has received. Although I still need to iron out the plot (got a pair of WIPs before KA) I'm hopeful that the main character being outshone by secondaries issue will be corrected.

The Epilogue was a late addition (as was the rejigged start). The latter part of the final chapter was always there. Do you think it would've worked better (keeping things spoiler-free, of course) if those had both been axed and replaced by something rather shorter?

It is hard to tell without reading it, but it might work better without the ending as is. It doesn't really add a whole lot as is, and especially the epilogue (to me) feels out of place. I like the thing with the razor as a closure, but this would probably be done differently. Not sure really. A shorter ending might help, as long as it ties up the journey well.

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback and your taking the time to read Journey to Altmortis. Hope you enjoy Bane of Souls.

Properly started this now. I love the dwarf:)

I just finished my review of this book. You can find it here: http://digerbop.ca/2013/10/journey-to...

Daniel, thanks for your review.

I still haven't started the next book set in the same world (entirely new character set) due to other work, but will bear in mind your praise and constructive criticism when I'm putting it together.

Reading Bane of Souls right now, because I'm kinda compulsive that way about books in a series (even if they don't *have* to be read in order). Enjoying it so far!

I know what you mean. I did the same thing with Joe Abercrombie's. It'll be interesting to see whether people (person? Not sure if Daniel's the only in this thread) who read Journey to Altmortis then Bane of Souls found that to be better than reading them in order of release.

And I'm glad you're liking it, so far.

I will probably read Bane of Souls soonish as well.

I am enjoying it. Just one question - how are they carrying all this gear? Unless they are hunting (which a couple of times Anja has) to carry enough to feed several people, plus tents, blankets, bedrolls, spare clothes, etc. Is going to be quite a burden.

I like Pierre, and Anja is fun. There is some great writing here.

Hmm... I didn't think about that gear carrying problem. I do, however, like the pellet/ball/whatever-it-is thing that can be mixed with water to make a wonderfully frothy concoction that can turn the most decent of gentlemen into bastards (yes, I'm walking about alcohol). What a great space saver idea. Many fantasy journeys to away with standard mead drinking scenes except when they run across taverns, but there is no need for this if you carry those nice turns-water-into-mead things.

Sidebar: the scene where the dwarf tries to eat one by itself is quite choice. Made me laugh.

For some reason the gear-carrying question is bugging me. I guess as I have a semi-similar journey in similar terrain in one of my books and they have a hrak (think yak) to carry the bulk plus they are all fairly well burdened. They also have a scout and a man who hunts in the mountains. It isn't a big thing but as it was mentioned the horses were next to useless in the terrain Thaddeus was crossing I wondered about it.

I cheat in mine - two mages who can purify water, plus milk from the hrak, a bit of wine, and spiced cider, wine, mead or ale if they get the chance.

I like the whistling pint mugs. The various races are interesting and a nice mix. I agree a bit more background might be nice but enjoying it even without.

The Kuhrisch are (on average) significantly stronger than Dennishmen/Felarians (who, biologically, are identical to an ordinary real life human). So, Fritigern, who's about 7' tall or so, can carry a substantially larger burden than an ordinary human could (at the end of the book he has to carry even more).

The Hartbiere (beer-balls! I should've used that term as well...) will save significant weight, as they can gather snow for water and only have to carry little weight for pints and pints of beer.

I know what you mean about certain things seeming to jar a little bit and remove immersion (a classic being "Why didn't Frodo just fly an eagle to Mount Doom?"). I'll try and prevent suchlike happening in the future.

The pint mugs were a real thing. The phrase "Wet your whistle" literally means "Fill up your whistling tankard". I plan to have a little scene in Kingdom Asunder where a customer or tavern wench is really pissed off with the constant whistling :p

Similarly, crowberries are a real thing, edible berries that grow in sub-arctic tundra.

Thanks, yes I had forgotten the Kurhish were much larger. I sort of assumed they were just rather taller human sized.

Yes that bugged me a bit about LOTR as well... maybe the eagles just knew about destiny...

Enjoying it overall:) I should hopefully finish it next week or so and I'll leave a review.

Still reading Bane of Souls, have been up to my eyeballs in book proofreading/formatting/launching the last week or so. More than halfway done with Bane; hopefully can get to Journey to Altmortis by the end of the month!

I've had a lot of stuff on my plate lately too, so I know how you feel. If you can't make it by the end of the month that's cool.

Naturally the focus will shift to The Shining Citadel in November, but you can always make one or two posts about Journey to Altmortis here after the month ends.

[Proofreading is hell].

I have finished this! I will leave a review in the next few days, when I have a working brain;)

I'd like to say it is very well written, the language is good and it's a lot of fun. There were a couple of bits I found which didn't quite wok for me but over all a good read. I'll pick up Bane of Souls at some point :)

Glad you enjoyed it overall :)

It'll be interesting to see what you particularly liked, and the bits you thought were a bit lacklustre.

The ending seemed a bit rushed and I was very surprised by Anthamian (sp) actions. The dragon's were great, I liked those a lot and the battle scenes were well done.

Wasn't sure about the 3 eyed types, though. I did think the use of the various races/cultures was well done over all, although a bit more description might have been nice for me. It might be better if I read the first book. To be fair I was reading in fits and starts as well as you were my commute to work read. That always confuses me a bit:)

Nice job.

Athanaric*

Glad you liked the dragons. It was a little tricky trying to get the right balance in terms of how tough they were. I didn't want them to be unstoppable, but I also wanted them to be very strong.

It's interesting you mention more description. In an earlier draft there was more about Geldfels and Kemelheim, and I cut it back. In the former case it was because it felt like I was hurling too much info at the reader (generally people felt Bane of Souls had a bit too much of this, but as you felt Journey to Altmortis lacked a little the first book may be more to your liking in that regard). For Kemelheim most of the info I cut was because of repetition.

It's hard to get the balance. I prefer info in books but I know a lot of people don't. My books are quite info heavy and I like the whole world building thing, both reading and writing. Can please everyone:)

I liked the mother dragon and the ikkle ones. The stone lizard was pretty cool. Nice death count as well:)

The female characters weren't simply rescuees either, both Anja and Lynette were strong woman who took no crap.

I'll read the first, for sure.

Here is the review. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Thanks, it's always really useful to hear what people think.

Glad the ladies came across well (I'm a bit worried about my WIP, because every female character seems great, and the men look a bit, er, rubbish by comparison. Except for a cross-dresser knight who's like a combination of Lily Savage and Thor).

Character/world-building is a tricky balance. I deliberately reduced the amount I put in after Bane of Souls was said by reviewers to have a put too much. Perhaps the answer is to balance it out more over the course of the book, rather than reduce the overall level of information drastically.

As I wrote above, it'll be interesting to see what you make of Bane of Souls (which has more of that sort of thing).

I generally enjoy a lot of description in my reading, especially my fantasy. It just occurs to me now that the amount of description tolerable might have something to do with your writing style. I noticed that you have a fairly unusual writing style which almost makes the narrator a character of his/her own. This type of style can work well, but has the potential to reduce immersion, making the reader feel like a bystander walking the action (much like the narrator). Too much description, in this case, can lead to non-engagment in the mind of the reader, making the difference between someone viewing a painting at a gallery, or viewing it through the mind's eye of the painter his/herself.

Lots of description can be done well, but it has to be engaging. I noticed your intriguing narrator style was reading, and was thrown off by it at first, but grew to love it throughout the course of the book. I think this is primarily because (like you say) there is less passive-voice rambling description.

PS. I really must read Bane of Souls to get this comparison down now that this idea of the potential difference has crossed my mind.

The book WAS enjoyable as it was but I am the sort who likes info. If you build a world, then BUILD a world. A litte more history would be nice but it still works well enough without it. It's very well written, the language is great.

It is one of the hardest things to manage - when does that world building and background become an info dump?

I have to say I tend not to mind passive voice too much.

If you want someone to beta read for book three, toss me a PM.

Must say I'd never considered that I might have an unusual style. Hopefully that's a plus.

Alexandra, it was a deliberate choice (perhaps wrong, but still) to not have more lore/background. For all the books I've written/am writing (except the comedy) I have much more background work than gets into the story.

I appreciate your offer. Because of being pretty busy right now I probably won't even get properly started with the third book until next year.

I don't think you are wrong, just you can't please everyone:) There is enough to provide an enjoyable story:) The action starts pretty quickly, which is good as it's easy to have lots of chapters of planning and less action, which is what some people have commented about mine.

Whichever choice an author makes will invariably be wrong for someone - too much action/not enough, too much detail/not enough, too much violence/not enough etc.

You've got a great style, that's easy to read, good characters and a good world going on. I'll look out for the others for sure.

Which reminds me, I should listopia yours. I tend to forget.

How do these listopia things work? [I should probably know this, having been here nearly a year].

You find the category and you click add books to this list. I added yours to a few suitable ones. There should be a link below your title saying which lists the book is in (if any) you can then click on it and vote. I am not sure if it helps at all, and some don't like author's adding their own books and nothing else.

I think I put yours in feisty female hero, a couple of fantasy ones and a dragon one, but I can't rightly recall.