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CHAPTER CHALLENGE!
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CHAPTER CHALLENGE! v1
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Nov 11, 2013 11:56AM
Welcome to the very first Chapter Challenge! I'm going to post the very first chapter or prologue in a novel and we are going to have a little fun with predictions. Here goes!
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Prologe
The snow was piling up in the driveway as Addy stared out the window of the music room. She pressed her hands flat against the cold glass, watching as the condensation outlined her fingers. Movement outside caught her eye and she shifted her focus to the boys as they loaded their snowboards into the back of the truck.
It was her eleventh birthday and she couldn’t believe they were going to miss her party to go on a ski trip. Gage had been there for every single birthday she’d ever had, and Matt had been at every one since he’d moved to the estate six years earlier.
The sound of footsteps made her whip around and she slid back into the bench in front of the piano. She started flipping through the sheet music in front of her, trying to look interested.
“I don’t hear any music,” Doris said, walking in and taking a seat on the davenport. “Your grandfather will be back from meeting with the West family soon and he’ll want to hear you play.”
Addy dropped her hands into her lap. “It’s not fair that I have to practice on my birthday.”
“You didn’t mind doing your combat practice this morning,” she said, raising her eyebrows at Addy.
“That’s different—it’s fun. This is—” Addy paused and looked out the window as Matt passed by on his way into the house. “Not as fun.”
Doris sighed. “Alright fine—since it’s your birthday, you can—”
Addy was on her feet running for the door before Doris was finished speaking. She turned around and popped her head back through the door. “Thanks!”
Doris smiled at her and nodded.
She hurried down the hallway toward the coat room. She figured that’s where Matt would be heading to get his gear. She rounded the corner, still running, and smacked right into him. They both fell down, hitting the marble floor hard.
“Geez, Addy!” he shouted, getting to his feet.
She stared up at him from the floor, rubbing her throbbing palms together. He was almost fourteen, but Addy thought he still sounded like a little kid when he yelled.
“I’m looking for my blue goggles,” he said, turning into the coat room. “Seen them?”
Addy pushed her long dark hair out of her eyes and stood up, following behind him. “Why do you have to go today? Can’t you go tomorrow—or later tonight, after my party?”
“It’s not up to me. Gage wants to go early and he’s driving,” Matt said, tossing the items from the shelves onto the floor as he searched.
She glanced up, spotting the blue goggles he was looking for peeking out from under a pink hat. “How come Gage doesn’t like me anymore?”
“I don’t know,” he said, tossing his hands in the air. “Could you help me look since you’re just standing there?”
Addy kept her eyes on the goggles, but didn’t point them out. “He doesn’t even talk to me. We used to be friends.”
Matt dropped his shoulders and turned to face her. “I guess I’ll have to buy some new ones when we get to the lodge. Got any birthday money you wanna loan me?”
She crossed her arms and looked at him. “Are you gonna stop liking me when you turn sixteen too, Mattie?”
“Who says I like you now,” he said, making a face at her.
Addy stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m not saving you any cake and you don’t get to play with any of the cool stuff I’m gonna get since you don’t—”
“Dude, what the hell’s taking so long to grab goggles?”
Addy turned around and looked up at Gage, who’d walked up behind them. He’d gotten so tall over the last couple of years that she was barely above his elbows when she stood up straight. His blond hair was wet and had melting snowflakes sticking to it.
Matt kicked at the items he’d strewn all over the floor. “I can’t find them.”
“They’re right there,” Gage said, pointing at the shelf. “Grab them and let’s go. The roads are getting bad.”
“Sweet.” Matt reached over and snatched the goggles from the shelf. “All of my gear went flying last time I wiped out—I thought maybe I’d lost them.”
Gage turned around and walked out of the coat room without even acknowledging she’d been standing there.
“Happy birthday, Addy,” Matt said over his shoulder as he followed Gage. “Save us cake!”
She plopped down on the floor and kicked the door shut with her foot. On their birthdays, Gage’s mom always made chocolate cake with coconut frosting for her and Gage because it was their favorite.
Since the boys thought snowboarding was more important than her party, she was going to make sure neither of them got any cake—even if she had to eat it all herself.
The door was suddenly whipped open and she looked up. Gage walked in and stepped over her. He started looking through the shelves like she wasn’t even there.
There was a time when Gage would’ve sat down on the floor next to her and asked why she was sitting in there all alone on her birthday. Over the last few months he’d changed though. He never spoke to her and hardly even looked in her general direction.
Gage moved to the estate with his mom the same week Addy was born. She’d known him her entire life. Every memory she had included him in some way. Having him treat her like a stranger was devastating.
Addy had tried talking to her grandfather about it, but he just said Gage was older now and probably didn’t want a little girl following him around anymore. It seemed like more than that to her though—one day he was her friend and the next it was like she didn’t exist.
After not finding what he was looking for on the shelves, Gage glanced at the items Matt had tossed on the floor. Addy noticed he was holding a black and green glove in his hand, so she started looking around in the pile for its mate.
Gage crouched down, spotting it under Addy’s foot. She looked at the faint blue symbols covering the top of his hand as he wrapped his fingers around the glove and pulled it free. He was an Akori like Matt, but Addy was just a human. She wondered if that was the real reason he didn’t want to be her friend anymore.
Gage glanced into the hallway, and then back at her with his bright blue eyes . “Happy birthday,” he whispered.
Addy felt her lip quivering and she bit it, trying to hold in the sob she felt coming on. It was the first time he’d spoken to her in weeks. She blinked and the tears she was trying to fight off trickled down her cheeks.
He reached over and wiped her face with his thumbs. She thought he was going to say something, but he just looked down at the floor as he dried his hands on his jeans.
“Gage, please don’t go,” she said, sniffling. “You always come to my parties. It won’t be fun without you and Mattie.”
Addy watched his shoulders drop. Gage took a deep breath and stood up. He jammed the gloves into his back pocket and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.
As soon as the door closed, she got to her feet and wiped her hands across her face. If he didn’t want to be her friend, then she wasn’t going to try to be his anymore either. And if he ever tried—she was going to turn her back on him, just like he’d done to her.
The snow was piling up in the driveway as Addy stared out the window of the music room. She pressed her hands flat against the cold glass, watching as the condensation outlined her fingers. Movement outside caught her eye and she shifted her focus to the boys as they loaded their snowboards into the back of the truck.
It was her eleventh birthday and she couldn’t believe they were going to miss her party to go on a ski trip. Gage had been there for every single birthday she’d ever had, and Matt had been at every one since he’d moved to the estate six years earlier.
The sound of footsteps made her whip around and she slid back into the bench in front of the piano. She started flipping through the sheet music in front of her, trying to look interested.
“I don’t hear any music,” Doris said, walking in and taking a seat on the davenport. “Your grandfather will be back from meeting with the West family soon and he’ll want to hear you play.”
Addy dropped her hands into her lap. “It’s not fair that I have to practice on my birthday.”
“You didn’t mind doing your combat practice this morning,” she said, raising her eyebrows at Addy.
“That’s different—it’s fun. This is—” Addy paused and looked out the window as Matt passed by on his way into the house. “Not as fun.”
Doris sighed. “Alright fine—since it’s your birthday, you can—”
Addy was on her feet running for the door before Doris was finished speaking. She turned around and popped her head back through the door. “Thanks!”
Doris smiled at her and nodded.
She hurried down the hallway toward the coat room. She figured that’s where Matt would be heading to get his gear. She rounded the corner, still running, and smacked right into him. They both fell down, hitting the marble floor hard.
“Geez, Addy!” he shouted, getting to his feet.
She stared up at him from the floor, rubbing her throbbing palms together. He was almost fourteen, but Addy thought he still sounded like a little kid when he yelled.
“I’m looking for my blue goggles,” he said, turning into the coat room. “Seen them?”
Addy pushed her long dark hair out of her eyes and stood up, following behind him. “Why do you have to go today? Can’t you go tomorrow—or later tonight, after my party?”
“It’s not up to me. Gage wants to go early and he’s driving,” Matt said, tossing the items from the shelves onto the floor as he searched.
She glanced up, spotting the blue goggles he was looking for peeking out from under a pink hat. “How come Gage doesn’t like me anymore?”
“I don’t know,” he said, tossing his hands in the air. “Could you help me look since you’re just standing there?”
Addy kept her eyes on the goggles, but didn’t point them out. “He doesn’t even talk to me. We used to be friends.”
Matt dropped his shoulders and turned to face her. “I guess I’ll have to buy some new ones when we get to the lodge. Got any birthday money you wanna loan me?”
She crossed her arms and looked at him. “Are you gonna stop liking me when you turn sixteen too, Mattie?”
“Who says I like you now,” he said, making a face at her.
Addy stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m not saving you any cake and you don’t get to play with any of the cool stuff I’m gonna get since you don’t—”
“Dude, what the hell’s taking so long to grab goggles?”
Addy turned around and looked up at Gage, who’d walked up behind them. He’d gotten so tall over the last couple of years that she was barely above his elbows when she stood up straight. His blond hair was wet and had melting snowflakes sticking to it.
Matt kicked at the items he’d strewn all over the floor. “I can’t find them.”
“They’re right there,” Gage said, pointing at the shelf. “Grab them and let’s go. The roads are getting bad.”
“Sweet.” Matt reached over and snatched the goggles from the shelf. “All of my gear went flying last time I wiped out—I thought maybe I’d lost them.”
Gage turned around and walked out of the coat room without even acknowledging she’d been standing there.
“Happy birthday, Addy,” Matt said over his shoulder as he followed Gage. “Save us cake!”
She plopped down on the floor and kicked the door shut with her foot. On their birthdays, Gage’s mom always made chocolate cake with coconut frosting for her and Gage because it was their favorite.
Since the boys thought snowboarding was more important than her party, she was going to make sure neither of them got any cake—even if she had to eat it all herself.
The door was suddenly whipped open and she looked up. Gage walked in and stepped over her. He started looking through the shelves like she wasn’t even there.
There was a time when Gage would’ve sat down on the floor next to her and asked why she was sitting in there all alone on her birthday. Over the last few months he’d changed though. He never spoke to her and hardly even looked in her general direction.
Gage moved to the estate with his mom the same week Addy was born. She’d known him her entire life. Every memory she had included him in some way. Having him treat her like a stranger was devastating.
Addy had tried talking to her grandfather about it, but he just said Gage was older now and probably didn’t want a little girl following him around anymore. It seemed like more than that to her though—one day he was her friend and the next it was like she didn’t exist.
After not finding what he was looking for on the shelves, Gage glanced at the items Matt had tossed on the floor. Addy noticed he was holding a black and green glove in his hand, so she started looking around in the pile for its mate.
Gage crouched down, spotting it under Addy’s foot. She looked at the faint blue symbols covering the top of his hand as he wrapped his fingers around the glove and pulled it free. He was an Akori like Matt, but Addy was just a human. She wondered if that was the real reason he didn’t want to be her friend anymore.
Gage glanced into the hallway, and then back at her with his bright blue eyes . “Happy birthday,” he whispered.
Addy felt her lip quivering and she bit it, trying to hold in the sob she felt coming on. It was the first time he’d spoken to her in weeks. She blinked and the tears she was trying to fight off trickled down her cheeks.
He reached over and wiped her face with his thumbs. She thought he was going to say something, but he just looked down at the floor as he dried his hands on his jeans.
“Gage, please don’t go,” she said, sniffling. “You always come to my parties. It won’t be fun without you and Mattie.”
Addy watched his shoulders drop. Gage took a deep breath and stood up. He jammed the gloves into his back pocket and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.
As soon as the door closed, she got to her feet and wiped her hands across her face. If he didn’t want to be her friend, then she wasn’t going to try to be his anymore either. And if he ever tried—she was going to turn her back on him, just like he’d done to her.
WOW. This is a great first example for the Chapter Challenge. There is so much foreshadowing and altogether great writing.
Right away I started to feel the cold on my palms and see my breath as I looked out the window at the boys getting ready to leave. She is really setting up the atmosphere first, which puts me right in the moment. I hope to see this continues.
The fixation on her birthday and how she felt about the boys missing it for their trip gives me a great sense of how immature her thoughts are in this early stage of life and how (like almost all children that age) she doesn't really understand the importance of things outside herself and the way getting older changes your perspective. I think this is going to change dramatically when the first chapter begins with her being older.
My attention spiked when she is talking about her piano lessons and then she says "combat training." I think that was the moment when I decided hat I had to read the rest of this book. Why is an 11 year old taking combat lessons? What kind of a world am I in now? The boys are obviously not her brothers based on how she's introduced them so why do they all live together? I NEED TO KNOW!
Reading on, she gets into the deeper relationships that I know are going to be a huge part of the story. Grandfather is probably a big male role model for her. Where are her parents? Why doesn't she mention them? Then there is Gage and Mattie. Like most boys, they probably don't want to be hanging out with a little girl once they've hit the teen years. But, like Addy, I felt like this was deeper than just getting older and I want to know why!
Then I read this...
"He was an Akori like Matt, but Addy was just a human. She wondered if that was the real reason he didn’t want to be her friend anymore."
BAM. ok I've got to go buy this book now so I can figure this out.
I hope everyone has fun with this little sneak peek. please share your thoughts!
Right away I started to feel the cold on my palms and see my breath as I looked out the window at the boys getting ready to leave. She is really setting up the atmosphere first, which puts me right in the moment. I hope to see this continues.
The fixation on her birthday and how she felt about the boys missing it for their trip gives me a great sense of how immature her thoughts are in this early stage of life and how (like almost all children that age) she doesn't really understand the importance of things outside herself and the way getting older changes your perspective. I think this is going to change dramatically when the first chapter begins with her being older.
My attention spiked when she is talking about her piano lessons and then she says "combat training." I think that was the moment when I decided hat I had to read the rest of this book. Why is an 11 year old taking combat lessons? What kind of a world am I in now? The boys are obviously not her brothers based on how she's introduced them so why do they all live together? I NEED TO KNOW!
Reading on, she gets into the deeper relationships that I know are going to be a huge part of the story. Grandfather is probably a big male role model for her. Where are her parents? Why doesn't she mention them? Then there is Gage and Mattie. Like most boys, they probably don't want to be hanging out with a little girl once they've hit the teen years. But, like Addy, I felt like this was deeper than just getting older and I want to know why!
Then I read this...
"He was an Akori like Matt, but Addy was just a human. She wondered if that was the real reason he didn’t want to be her friend anymore."
BAM. ok I've got to go buy this book now so I can figure this out.
I hope everyone has fun with this little sneak peek. please share your thoughts!
Mod
Mod
Sara wrote: "Was a little confused what book this was, and then realized the author changed the cover on me. I have owned this one for awhile now but haven't gotten to it. I agree with all of Jessica's thoughts..."The fourth book Twisted Memories comes out December 1st and I wasn't able to use the same cover designer. I didn't want it to be different than the first three, so I changed them all. :)
Very nice prologue! The thing that got me was the combat training. Why does a little girl need combat training? I have to know. :-)
