Desperate BookJunkies discussion

This topic is for anything and everything about Adam & Evans Light...all their books, audiobooks, and awesome book deals. Plus, any links to things related can be brought into this topic.

I'd like to discuss Adam Light's llama fixation and open the floor to speculation as to what specific sort of childhood trauma might have resulted in said fixation.

I don't know but my brother got attacked and spit on by a llama when he was younger. It was at a garden store that had a petting zoo...weird huh. They can be some nasty animals.

Steven wrote: "I don't know but my brother got attacked and spit on by a llama when he was younger. It was at a garden store that had a petting zoo...weird huh. They can be some nasty animals."

That is weird. I wonder if something similar happened to Adam.

Well, this is a mighty fine looking thread right here, now.
I should have known the first question would involve throwing wide the curtain on the llama issue. Let me go ahead and clear it up, oh sender of goats with satellite dishes atop their heads: The reason I like llamas is because alpacas are rare in my area of the world, and llamas are similar enough creatures.

Adam wrote: "Well, this is a mighty fine looking thread right here, now.
I should have known the first question would involve throwing wide the curtain on the llama issue. Let me go ahead and clear it up, oh se..."

OK. What is it about alpacas then?

I never was bitten by a llama, however, when I was eight or nine I was viciously attacked by a seriously pissed off rooster. I still wear the beak scars on the backs of my hands.

I really would rather not get into the whole alpaca thing right now, Gregor. I said I would tell you about the llamas, not the alpacas.

That would be interesting to find out. I think camels are kinda like llamas in doing weird things like this too. I've read things about them at least spitting on people in zoos and such. Funny thing is, I've never heard or seen anything like this happen with an Alpaca. We see those at the fair here every year and they seem to have a very good temperament with little kids.

Steven wrote: "That would be interesting to find out. I think camels are kinda like llamas in doing weird things like this too. I've read things about them at least spitting on people in zoos and such. Funny thin..."

But how are they with horror fiction writers?

Oh wow yeah roosters and fowl (should be foul) birds can be nasty and as a kid I got chased and bit by a bitchy swan so I know the feeling Adam. And I don't know if any of you hunt but wild turkeys can be more dangerous than you might expect. They roost in trees and have been known to drop down out of them on hunters and claw and peck at them really bad.

Gregor wrote: "Steven wrote: "That would be interesting to find out. I think camels are kinda like llamas in doing weird things like this too. I've read things about them at least spitting on people in zoos and s..."

Good question but one we might never know about :o)

Steven wrote: "Gregor wrote: "Steven wrote: "That would be interesting to find out. I think camels are kinda like llamas in doing weird things like this too. I've read things about them at least spitting on peopl..."

Hmm, I may have to do some research on camels, now. Thanks for the info!

Adam wrote: "I never was bitten by a llama, however, when I was eight or nine I was viciously attacked by a seriously pissed off rooster. I still wear the beak scars on the backs of my hands."

I still feel guilty about entering my little brother in a cockfight when he was that young, but to my credit - he did look a lot like a chicken, plus I bet against him and won a lot of money - so there WAS a happy ending. For one of us anyway.

The terrified look on that little fellas face...when that cock started kicked his ass...still brings a smile to my face after all these years.

You forgive me, don't you bro?

No.

Evans wrote: "Adam wrote: "I never was bitten by a llama, however, when I was eight or nine I was viciously attacked by a seriously pissed off rooster. I still wear the beak scars on the backs of my hands."

I s..."

Oh, oh, no.

Evans, aren't you going to have to see Adam in person soon?

Gregor wrote: "Evans wrote: "Adam wrote: "I never was bitten by a llama, however, when I was eight or nine I was viciously attacked by a seriously pissed off rooster. I still wear the beak scars on the backs of m..."

Yep.

And this thread reminds me to wear my giant chicken suit when I pick him up from the airport.

You see, Gregor, what I have had to endure my entire life? It's no wonder he bullied me into writing a whole mess of stories and then give him all the credit.

Oh, Evans, I almost forgot: I can't wait to see you at the airport.
I'll be the guy with the meat cleaver there to chop you into little pieces.

Hmmm little pieces...will they fit nice and neat inside a burrito or taco? maybe sprinkled on top of a pizza :O)

Hey, did you guys get the news about Edward Lorn changing his name?

I hear his sales numbers have really swollen rapidly, despite the stiff competition.

I'm really looking forward to his next one!

Oh look here. Steven, see what you've gotten yourself into. You won't hear any complaints from me, though. I always feel like an elephant just climbed off my chest when Evans finds another target! Enjoy. I'm going to go pour some peroxide on these thumbscrew holes.

Here's an on-topic good deal - it's a "my loss is your gain" kind of tale...

Amazon has discounted the Screamscapes: Tales of Terror eBook to $3.03 - but that's not all!

Buy the eBook and you'll qualify to get the audiobook through Amazon or Audible.com for only $1.99 - a savings of $15 off the regular audiobook price for 8 hours of audio horror.

That means you get both the eBook and the audiobook for a whopping grand total of $5.03, a savings of almost $20 off the standard retail price.

Not sure how long this deal will last, so if you're interested now is the time.

Here's how to order: http://www.amazon.com/Screamscapes-Ta...

The audiobook version of Screamscapes: Tales of Terror features dramatic narration with subtle sound effects and music to enhance the experience.

And don't forget the forthcuming Penis for the Damned.

Edward wrote: "Facebook has chimed in. See also these variations: HOLE FOR THE WICKED and SPRAWL."

Nice!

...and welcome to our dimension.

Please leave your muddy shoes at the door.

And Gregor Loves Goats 2. Back Up On It.

Adam wrote: "And Gregor Loves Goats 2. Back Up On It."

That's a classic. But I think the subtitle is "Baaaaack Up On It:

Adam wrote: "And Gregor Loves Goats 2. Back Up On It."

I didn't know there was a sequel! Adding that to my TBR list. I'll read that one when I'm done with Rammed by a Goat-Headed Man.

Evans wrote: "Adam wrote: "And Gregor Loves Goats 2. Back Up On It."

That's a classic. But I think the subtitle is "Baaaaack Up On It:"

You're right about the sub-title Evans. Just looked it up.

Gregor wrote: "Adam wrote: "And Gregor Loves Goats 2. Back Up On It."

I didn't know there was a sequel! Adding that to my TBR list. I'll read that one when I'm done with Rammed by a Goat-Headed Man."

Is that your autobiography, Gregor?

Evans wrote: "Gregor wrote: "Adam wrote: "And Gregor Loves Goats 2. Back Up On It."

I didn't know there was a sequel! Adding that to my TBR list. I'll read that one when I'm done with Rammed by a Goat-Headed Ma..."

Yes, my autobiography fits quite neatly into the crypto-erotica genre.

I understand, Gregor. The satellite goat you sent was unsettling at first, but there is an unmistakable chemistry. If it weren't for my wife's fear of becoming a cuckquean, and as a result of my having an affair with a horned quadriped, I might also be doomed to your fate. Thank goodness she beats me frequently.

You had an affair with a horned quadruped? Do tell.

Ok now this really has been the best mess up ever cause my wife and I are laughing so hard right now and these fun comments are just what this group needed...this is one of those times when a booboo!! ends up a woohoo ha ha ha!!! talk about the best dam promotional skills ever :o) I believe the red priest could have used a little porn in his life Edward.

Thanks, Steven. You and the missus have been an excellent audience.

... that's what Ron Jeremy and Wendy Woppers said :O)

Steven wrote: "... that's what Ron Jeremy and Wendy Woppers said :O)"

Showing your age using the porn time-line there, Steven.

yeah tell me about it... I saw Ron Jeremy in a regular movie just recently...he's so old he finally had to retire from porn because of all that wear and tear :O) As for Wendy Woppers I have no idea...maybe they finally popped :o)

...or they just drag on the ground now LOL :O) so bad

Haha this thread is awesome! Funniest thing I've read in ages!

To add a picture to Goodreads threads, it's a little bit of a process. Gets easy to do after a few times.

1. Create photobucket account on your PC, or you can use the app on you phone or tablet.

2 . upload the picture you want to post to photobucket.

3. In Goodreads, right above the text box you want to post in, click the "some html is ok" link.

4.this brings up several html commands. Copy and paste the html text next to "image" into the text box where you want the picture displayed.

5. Now go to photobucket, open the picture you want to post. There should be an option on photobucket that says "direct link". Click it to copy the link to your clipboard.

6.now go back to the html command you pasted into the Goodreads text box. There is a fuller Web address in that command surrounded by Parentheses. Paste the photo bucket link over it.

7. At the end of the html command, you'll see numbers like w=40 and h=20. That's the width and height that your picture will be displayed at. I typically set the width to 400 and then make the height number proportionally different depending on the orientation of the photo. Play around with it until you get it right by using the preview function at the bottom of the post. (note, you have to preview it twice before it applies your dimensions. The first time it simply loads the photo)

And that's it. The process is difficult the first few times, but one you get the hang of it, you'll be able to post a picture in under a minute.

someone took the time to teach me, just paying it back. Enjoy!

Evans wrote: "Hey, did you guys get the news about Edward Lorn changing his name?

I hear his sales numbers have really swollen rapidly, despite the stiff competition.

I'm really looking forward to his next one!

"

I'm a little behind here... but that's awesome!

How's it going Mr. P... Lorn. Yeah, I was nice to Steven. I noticed the error in the email, had a laugh, but wasn't going to call him out on this - then I see he's a good sport about it with this thread. And so are you.

It's pretty hard to get my last name wrong, but sometimes people want to add a syllable and call me Parentay.

ALERT: GOAT WAR IS COMING

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/12/world-w...

Evans wrote: "

ALERT: GOAT WAR IS COMING

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/12/world-w..."

This 'correction' stinks of a cover-up. The Goat War is nigh(!), but THEY just don't want the masses to know until a super-weapon can be developed to deal with the threat.

(view spoiler)[There can never be a weapon powerful enough to stop the oncoming goat army. Sorry, folks. Start stockpiling water and canned goods now. (hide spoiler)]

Interesting to go from the subject of porn to a Goat War :O) I think a war of goats might be interesting. Who are they fighting against? Other goats? Horses? Piggies? Or The Desperate Farmer Out In The Field? Now that's just nasty and all messed up :o)

Gregor wrote: "Evans wrote: "

ALERT: GOAT WAR IS COMING

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/12/world-w..."

This 'correction' stinks of a cover-up. The Goat Wa..."

I've been stockpiling soft goat cheese in my attic for a while now. It's true the smell will attract them when the invasion begins, but spreading rotten goat cheese over your entire body (don't forget the hair!) works well as an effective camouflauge.

With the invasion imminent, I suggest everyone go ahead and camo up right now.

Oh I am all camo now...can you see me? Huh didn't think so..hey you hear that?

Evans wrote: "Gregor wrote: "Evans wrote: "

ALERT: GOAT WAR IS COMING

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/12/world-w..."

This 'correction' stinks of a cover-..."

That's a good tactic. I might have to add that to the appendix of my upcoming survival guide World War G.