Our Shared Shelf discussion

I absolutely fell in love with all the stories Steinem shares of instances where she learned from taxi drivers. The driver for Black Pearl described himself as a "rescuer" to people of color and those who live in the Brooklyn area or further out who are often refused service by Yellow Cabs (which is, for any reason, unlawful).

It was sobering to read about the lack of privacy in general that the driver, as a person of color, and other passengers (a gay couple, a Catholic schoolgirl and her boyfriend, a Muslim man wanting to listen to current music, amongst others) experienced in most places. I can understand why he felt the blinds he installed in his car offered a safe haven for many.

So a two-part question for anyone who has reached this point:

1- Do you feel that you have a lack of privacy in your life because of an unchosen facet of your identity (race, gender, sexuality, illness, and so on), and, if so, how do you cope with it?

2- How do you feel your job or position in the world allows you to rescue others?

Hi,

I can't answer to your point right now, it's still too fresh for me and I have to think about what I've read.

But this chapter made me so curious. I'm from Belgium, and I've never taken a taxi here (sorry if my English is not perfect, morning for me). It's very expensive and I don't need it.

So I was thinking - are the Belgian taximen the same as yours ? I'm not sure that here they try to speak with their client. When I see a taxi-man here, he's often on the phone while there is a client in his car.

I really think that Gloria is pretty lucky to have such taxi-men, and this chapter is really interesting for me who loves to listen to other people's stories. Particularly that one taxi-driver who wants to see the world with his own eyes, the process is really inspiring.

I'm gonna try to answer to your beginning of a discussion later, with coffee and time =)

It's true that there's something about taxi drivers worldwide, haha. They tend to be much quieter in my hometown, or perhaps I do not talk to them that much here. However, go to Beijing and you'll see. They have a reputation for being highly knowledgeable in politics and overall the noble art of 'small talk.' They love talking to clients, although this might be especially true for foreigners.

I remember this particular case during my first time in Beijing when my taxi driver said, so where do you come from? I said I was Spanish, and then the man proceeded to say something I did not understand, because my Mandarin skills were much crappier than now. He did not give up, though. He started making funny sounds and eventually let go of the steering wheel for a sec to make the sign of horns over his head. Finally, light dawned upon me. This man was talking about fighting bulls.
There was also that other day, years later and back in China, when I was going to Beijing Int'l Airport to catch my flight to Tokyo. Of course, by taxi. The taxi driver said, 'Oh how exciting that you're going to travel. Where to?'
'Tokyo'
'Oh.'
I counted the seconds with my fingers. One, two, three...
'You see, I don't like Japan.'
In fact, I remember many more. Add to that the fact that I do not drive, either, and this was easily one of my favorite chapters in the book, haha.

Haha, I do drive and don't travel as much as I want to. I only have two experiences of taxi, and none became a big souvenir. But I'm going to try this when I travel (often without my car for City Trips in Europe), maybe I can be surprised !

This was also one of my favorite, because if we take apart the taxi-driver thing, I do enjoy a lot to listen to the stories of people I meet. In fact, I have to do that kind of reporting for my village newspaper, and when I ask the good questions, I just have to sit there and listen. Thanks to that, I had to meet a lovely couple who flew from Spain during the Franco-period and whom the lives were very touching. They told me so much of them, and despite of the sometimes sad history, they were so joyful. One of my best memories in this job :)

To come back to the previous questions of this post,

For the first one, I don't really think I have, of if so, it doesn't bother me as much as for the people in this book. Maybe my biggest lacks of privacy come from facet of my identity I do choose, and it's easier to cope with that when it's something you decided. I don't really know what to answer to this and I'm feeling lucky to - it must be an awful feeling, I have to admit.

For the second one, I think it's pretty clear again that the abilty to rescue others comes from choices we make. For example, I'm a monitor for years in a youth movement (like Scouting but not that one) and by that, I met so many children of younger people than me. I've always tried to guide them as much as I can when they needed to (familial problems, personal problems, for the younger monitors to become better ones). It's volunteering, but I know that without it, my life and the lives of some of the children would be so different right now. It's a small step, but it's a step.

Hope my answers are useful for the discussion, and hope my debate about taximen over the world is also interesting !

It's such a bless to debate about a book and a thematic with people from such different origins, I like it here ! :D

(again, hope my English is understandable, don't hesitate to correct me if necessary)

Julie wrote: "Hi,

I can't answer to your point right now, it's still too fresh for me and I have to think about what I've read.

But this chapter made me so curious. I'm from Belgium, and I've never taken a tax..."

Your English is quite good, Julie!

I've never been to Belgium, but I've been in many cities around the US and most of the bigger cities have taxis that truly are as decorated—a little world of their own—as Steinem said. The drivers, like people, are all different in their willingness to talk, but in my experience, if you show a desire to discuss their life in the city they live in, they have no problem giving you the real "scoop" on what it is like.

I have heard from friends abroad that Americans are widely seen to be "nosier" or more interested in discussing personal matters within a shorter time of knowing someone, but the confidence that comes with a taxi ride is, I think, heightened by the knowledge that (with so many people in a city, especially in NYC) the chances of you two meeting again are very slim.

Julie wrote: "Haha, I do drive and don't travel as much as I want to. I only have two experiences of taxi, and none became a big souvenir. But I'm going to try this when I travel (often without my car for City T..."

I also love that you can realize exactly how much power you have to change other people's lives, and that you have! Most women I know were brought up to deny any compliment, but I think confidence is a really great source of strength and character. It's amazing that you're part of changing lives with people so young!

I loved this chapter!
I loved the fact that anybody has the power to influence and change lives!

I can't answer your questions Amanda, but I can say this for sure: This chapter was love and everything that makes me thankful of friends.

I have had similar experiences w/taxi drivers...especially in New York (as that's where I take the most taxi rides). One example was a man from Jamaica who kept singing as we drove. he had a big, full, very island voice. I am a former singer with the NYC Opera so I asked him if he was in sow business. he replied that he as not but that he just loved to sing. The next thing you know, we were singing a duet. he then pulled over to the side of the road, turned off his meter, and we sat there for about 1/2 hour singing together. It was wonder-ful.

I've only been in a taxi a couple of times when traveling. But I used to use public transportation a lot when I was younger, in college and a few years after. I lived in an area where it would take about the same amount of time to drive in a car or take the bus, and I didn't have a car anyway. The bus was a great place to catch up on homework or reading.

Well, you meet a lot of interesting people on public transportation, both the drivers and the other passengers. Most of the drivers I saw were very friendly and chatty. I tended to see the same drivers every day by going on the same routes, so I got to know them pretty well. The passengers were a mixed bag. Some people are nice, some people are weird, some are obnoxious. But I do remember some interesting experiences, like the little girl who was getting ready to audition for the part of Annie in a local play so the bus driver was giving her vocal lessons, or the guy who always came onto the bus with his cat perched on his shoulder. The policy was supposed to be that pets were secured in a kennel, but the bus drivers knew this guy and his cat, and knew the cat would be very well-behaved and sit politely for the whole ride, so they always let him on. The guy had also trained his cat to balance on his shoulder while he rode his bicycle. I envied him a little, especially because the cat was a very pretty, sleek black cat.

It's definitely a very different experience to travel around other people than to be isolated in your own car. I don't always like being subjected to other people, so I often rely on the book/headphones combo to block other people out, but there have been good experiences, too. I feel like a lot of people take their cars for granted and don't realize what they're missing.

Amanda wrote: "I absolutely fell in love with all the stories Steinem shares of instances where she learned from taxi drivers. The driver for Black Pearl described himself as a "rescuer" to people of color and th..."

Amanda,

In response to question 1, I feel like there is a lack of privacy in being female in public spaces. The amount of unsolicited attention directed at females is exhausting. Cat calls comments, and even threats serve as a reminder of the privacy we lose by stepping outside.

I can only imagine the additional lack of privacy in public spaces that comes with being disabled, transgender, etc.

Great OP!

Like Margaret, I thought of public spaces. While we don't have catcalling of epidemic proportions, I still hesitate always to catch a man's eyes, because it inevitably is some kind of invitation to something "dirty" and I don't like that. I also feel like men evaluate me often, and it makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps that is a reason for cultivating subconsciously the resting bitchface I mentioned in another thread. So if they stare, I break eye contact and mind my own business to avoid keeping track of whether they kept staring or not. Women have some kind of innate sensor for male eyes, which is creepy in itself (like why??? ugh).

My position? I do good every day and am fortunate enough to be in such a position.

Kristen wrote: "I've only been in a taxi a couple of times when traveling. But I used to use public transportation a lot when I was younger, in college and a few years after. I lived in an area where it would take..."

I, too, use public transport a lot(all the time, since I don't have an own car and don't need one. If somebody gives me a lift tho, I don't refuse.) I always said I do it because of environmental reasons, which I stll do. But this chapter taught me that you really miss a lot when you sit in a car. I can also read books, or just relax, and of course, the people you meet are amazing.
But for me, it is true that only this chapter opened my eyes on what I'd miss. I would have needed much more time without that chapter to realize that.

My own position? I'm female, so that's sometimes a bit of an obstacle, but since I'm white and hide very well within society, I never have real problems in public spaces. I just seem to vanish, or at least from the consciousness of the annoying people.

My own position to help others?
I can help others because I know a lot, so I can give advice, or I teach refugees German. So, yes, I can help others and am proud to do so.