Wellness and Self-Improvement Books discussion

SOME OBSTACLES TO SELF-TRANSFORMATION

Trying too hard
One of the reasons why most of us are unable to significantly change our behaviors and improve our lives is because we try too hard. Sooner or later, we become discouraged and we may give up altogether. One of my favorite examples is about trying to lose weight.
Many of us have invested time and money in workshops that deal with various aspects of our lives. Even those of us who have taken part in really effective workshops, are often unable to transfer, into our terribly busy lives, the new healthy habits and skills that we have just learned. All too many of us end up relapsing, sooner or later; even those who have attended twelve-step programs or other similar programs. Programs such as: anger management, Weight Watchers, Smoke Enders etc.

Missing Links, Chapter 1, page 3
A FEW BASIC SECRETS
• One of the basic secrets of self-transformation is that, before we can change a self-defeating behavior, we need to learn to minimize its « gravity, intensity and frequency ». I call this, the process of Minimizing The Damage (MTD). In my experience, trying to proceed too quickly and trying to find shortcuts, usually only ends up being a huge waste of time and energy. We usually have to “bottom out” before we start to make any consistent progress.
• We also need to reduce the pressure on ourselves. We need to have more pleasure and more fun. It is easier to make progress if we allow ourselves to make a game out of what we do.
• If we want to be truly happy, we need to learn to be satisfied with everything we do.
• We also need to learn to criticize ourselves less and empower ourselves more.
• Another secret of behavior modification is that: “frequency is more effective than quantity.”
Missing Links, Chapter 1

OUR CONTRACT
Rather than criticize myself, I have learned to make a contract with myself in which I agree to congratulate myself even for the teeniest improvement … no matter how small. The process of contracting is an essential one. It requires that we become aware of our tendencies and of the patterns in which we are involved. It is also essential that we learn to start to forgive ourselves. As I found out, forgiving ourselves isn’t easy. In our very competitive and perfectionistic societies, we are far more used to criticize ourselves and others, than to forgive.

Missing Links, Chapter 3, page 44

Missing Links shows how to Incorporate the “Tools” and the processes for self-transformation into our very busy daily life, by painless “Baby Steps” and in thin “Salami Slices” of time. These processes are natural, organic, synergistic and … surprisingly effective!

If you would like to look inside the book, I encourage you to visit our web-site at:

www.danielpetra.com