Our Shared Shelf discussion

This exact monologue has been on my mind for the last four hours that passed since I finished the book.
The woman's sincere and loud voice made things rather simple, easy to digest at first. But I can't say the same thing right now. It's much more complex than I had realised.

This overthinking concerns entirely the phycological profile of Bob. At the very beginning, even though these words were spoken “I didn't particularly like Bob.”, I instantly romanticised the whole scene. I mean, honestly, it's rather easy to create the perfect image of this couple. A man, at first indifferent to her. now made her feel special, made her understand the worth and the beauty of her own body. In the end he's “ a hungry, beautiful beast".
On the other hand, a little voice in my head, keeps saying that he was quite persuasive and persistent. How would you describe Bob? Am I overthinking this?

It made me uncomfortable too, but I'm not sure I can put my finger on why. Maybe it wasn't her enthusiastic consent... sure, she didn't say no but she also seemed not into it either.

Jessie wrote: "Where my discomfort came with this monologue is Bob's consistent "I need to see you" over and over again, the keywords being "I need". For me it felt the same as when any man is pushy and persisten..."

Emma wrote: "When I read this monologue, I didn't have any problems with it. It wasn't my favorite, but it didn't make me uncomfotable and I didn't dislike it. I liked the woman's loudness and matter-of-fact-ne..."

Melle wrote: "It made me uncomfortable too, but I'm not sure I can put my finger on why. Maybe it wasn't her enthusiastic consent... sure, she didn't say no but she also seemed not into it either."



I think it really depends on the individual's reading, the way we like to read it, on what conditions and of course the tone we have adopted from the very beginning of the book.

Emma, I can definitely see your point. These were my very first thoughts and continue now to be. Personally, I really loved this woman's loudness like you said. Indeed, a one-night stand can be valuable in that way.

Melle and Jessie, I think it felt even more icky to me because it was about using her vagina to satisfy him as opposed to him loving on her vagina to satisfy her. Yeah, that's exactly what I was saying.

In the end, having seen a performance of Eve's, the most reasonable take is that of Emma's. It was just a sexual relationship of a night but still it proved to be valuable. After I slept on it, I think it's a matter of the performance! It can easily turn out different, with empasizing at different words. My mistake was to make a romantic story out of it.

Emma wrote: "When I read this monologue, I didn't have any problems with it. It wasn't my favorite, but it didn't make me uncomfotable and I didn't dislike it. I liked the woman's loudness and matter-of-fact-ne..."

I definitely saw myself in this passage. I myself seem more in touch with my sexuality than she did in this piece, but I am still embarrassed sometimes and nothing makes me feel better than a man expressing his need to have me and hold me.

I also tend to be indifferent to men I am seeing and then as I see them more and finally sleep with them, I find myself looking at them and feeling differently. Most of the men I have had real feelings for in the last year are not my type at all, which is definitely a case of not judging a book by its' cover.

I identified with this piece the most. When I have sex I like my partner looking my vagina in the eye before he enters. It's kind of like he's acknowledging who I am and accepting me as I am before I let him inside me, and it makes me feel more open and powerful and sexy if he is able to do that without cringing. Think about it, how many guys have really looked at a vagina, I mean really, really looked? Women shouldn't be the only ones to know what's really down there.

I'm a little late to the conversation, as I just finished the book yesterday, but this was actually the monologue I related to the most. Like the woman telling the story I thought my vagina was gross for the longest time, I wouldn't look at it and I wouldn't touch it, everything was all business. I think in part it's because I was sexually abused by my step father most of my childhood and it made me feel "unclean" in a way, everything about my vagina just felt wrong. I seriously kept everything on lock down, not being intimate with anyone, until I turned 18 and then it was all about the guy. I didn't learn to love and appreciate my vagina until I met my now husband. He LOVES my vagina and wanted me to love it too, in fact he was absolutely shocked that I had no interest in it whatsoever when we first got together. He really helped me realized that there's nothing wrong with my vagina, it's not gross or unclean, it's beautiful and just needs some good love and in because of that now I have a great relationship with my vagina.

Reading this monologue, I definitely saw something of myself and it made me feel good to know I'm know the only one that's felt so negatively about their vagina. I liked that Bob made her feel good about her vagina again just like my husband did for me. To me it's a beautiful way to love someone, even if it's just for one night.

Jessie wrote: "Where my discomfort came with this monologue is Bob's consistent "I need to see you" over and over again, the keywords being "I need". For me it felt the same as when any man is pushy and persisten..."

I was disturbed by "need" too...but I think I was more disturbed that he wouldn't move on. He was just so determined to see....he didn't try romanticizing her further more. He didn't try communicating in a different way. He made it seem like the vagina was the gateway to her soul.

But when I started thinking about it, she didn't seem panicked, just uncomfortable, and when I'm uncomfortable, I tend to remember things a little more extreme. In the book, it sounded like he was stuck there for a really long time. When it probably just felt like a really long time.

But if that wasn't the case, then....I'm glad she got peace with the outcome, because I would have just left if my sexual partner continued to refuse listening to me.

Griselda wrote: "Jessie wrote: "Where my discomfort came with this monologue is Bob's consistent "I need to see you" over and over again, the keywords being "I need". For me it felt the same as when any man is push..."

Jessie wrote: "Where my discomfort came with this monologue is Bob's consistent "I need to see you" over and over again, the keywords being "I need". For me it felt the same as when any man is pushy and persisten..."

Jessie and Griselda, that was my problem too. I felt so uncomfortable reading that he was staring at her vagina, while reading it very horrid pictures came up in my mind, and I just don't understand how this scene is so one-sided. The man gets kinda everything, the woman feels uncomfortable and has to wait a long time until she gets a reward back, don't mind if it only felt like a long time, a long time is a long time.
This was probably the monologue I had the most problems with, only succeeded by "My vagina was my village".

Kendall • thegeekyyogi wrote: "I'm a little late to the conversation, as I just finished the book yesterday, but this was actually the monologue I related to the most. Like the woman telling the story I thought my vagina was gro..."

I'm glad that your husband made you learn to love and appreciate your vagina, and that you have a good relationship with it now. The horrors you have endured are unimaginable for most of us. I'm really glad you didn't give in. And sometimes we need somebody to heal us again.

Stay strong!