The Way I Used to Be discussion

The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith, such a simple title with so much meaning. Eden McCrorey’s, perspective of life changed after her brothers’ best friend, Kevin raped her over Christmas break. She was only a 14-year-old in the middle of her first year of highschool. Over the four years of high school something new changes every year. Freshmen year, she got raped and lost herself and her best friend to a guy. Sophomore year she begins to rebel, smoking (not just cigarettes), drinking, sneaking out, and also gets a boyfriend. Junior year her relationship had ended, she goes to parties and sleeps with random guys, makes and then loses more friends. She still has to deal with Kevin whenever there is a holiday break, he’s supposed to be like another brother. She walks the long way to get home from school to avoid walking past his house. Senior year, cleaned up her act, she never stopped thinking about her ex, and still has never told anyone she had been raped...but she wants to.
Although this book is fictional, the author, Amber Smith made it seem as if it were real and you were there. You can feel every emotion of Eden, hear her every thought, and almost experience her life. You read this book, knowing what happened to her and almost get mad thinking about how everyone around her doesn’t notice that something is wrong, something happened that has changed her. Eden wanted to tell someone what happened, but she couldn’t do it, she was terrified of what might happen.
“ I open my mouth, but it feels like someone poured hydrochloric acid down my throat and I might never be able to speak again.” This is one feeling of Eden the morning after her rape. She had dried blood stains on her comforter, legs, and pajamas, she doesn’t want to believe what happened. She feels like she can’t speak when her mother is calling for her. This is one of many examples of how detailed the author makes Eden’s thoughts (4). Another example, “ Suddenly the planet stops orbiting, pauses, and goes silent for just a moment while all eyes in the world focus on me….then time rushes forward again” (19). You can visualize the entire story in your own way, yet they are also pretty similar. The whole book is attention grabbing.
I recommend this book to everyone I know, it is powerful, emotional, and straightforward. I could read this book over and over and never get bored. I feel everyone that reads this book can relate in some sort of way, I know I did. When reading this book I could relate to certain things like the feeling alone, and not having anyone I could talk to about anything. The book never loses your interest, if it’s not one thing then it’s another. This is a very blunt, and an emotional book that holds nothing back. It is likely that in the last chapter of The Way I Used to Be, you will be balling your eyes out. It includes graphic sexual details, drug/alcohol use, sexual abuse, and vulgar language. I do not recommend reading if you are uncomfortable with any of these things. I rate it a 5/5.
Amber Smith is a New York Times best selling author of the young adult novels The Way I Used to Be and The Last to Let Go. Alone with being a New York Times best selling author, she has won 3 other awards, was selected for the American Library Association ‘s Amelia Bloomer List of Feminine Literature and many other associations. She wants her writing to help change some issues like gendered violence, sexual assault, and LGBTQ equality. She has written seven books so far, and one will be released in 2019 called Something Like Gravity. I find Smith as a wonderful author and plan to read more of her books, as I hope you do too.

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