Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage discussion

I don't know how I feel about the ending? It would be such a different novel if you got to know what happened the next day. Perhaps a much less subtle and interesting book. Is his openness to the longing.. the whole point?
What do you think? Should we know what happens?

I had closure. I really didn't care if he continued to Sarah or not. If it didn't work out with her, I Tsukuru would find someone else to be lonely with.

I agree with Juan. Tsukuru did what he needed to do, what happens next is just gravy. Murakami has had open "Joycian" endings before, so I was not shocked or surprised by the ending (That and I've read Dubliners many times, so I'm used to such things).

I just finished the book this morning. It's pretty clear to me what happens next. Tsukuru got dumped.

There's close to zero chance that Tsukuru got with Sarah. By the end it was almost funny in a sad way.

He calls up and tells her he thinks she's got another guy. She evades the question. Then he calls her at 4 am and tells her he loves her - she thinks he's drunk. Is that not a disaster? He's coming off jealous and desperate in the same night. That's like the breakup right there.

- midway through the book she says he's got issues
- he has trouble performing in bed with her (not the end of the world, but probably not good)
- he was calling her repeatedly with no answer at the end, just like when his friends dumped him
- she tells him to relax but does not answer his question
- I didn't sense any sign that she missed him while he was on his trip, meanwhile he is ready to propose marriage

It's almost as if Sarah was in the process of breaking up with him the entire book.

For me the point of the ending is that he's about to lose another person he loves, but this time he's a little more prepared for it. But also he's going to be hurt more since he seems more vulnerable and desperate at the end.

Anyway this is probably my favorite out of the Murakami novel's I've read, but I didn't find the ending that open ended.

This is the truest to life of all of Murakami's books.

People drift in and out of our lives.

We don't always get who or what we hope or want.

Just because Tsukuru found Sara attractive doesn't mean that others don't as well. She reminded me of the character played by Vera Farmiga in 'Up in the Air', I even thought she might have been lovers with Olga. Also she's uprwardly mobile and enjoying the wealth and travel that comes with her job, why would she want to settle down?

I did think we'd get one more dream at the end with Haida and Shiro present.

I dreaded the idea that it would all be a happy Hollywood, kissing, embracing in the sunshine outside a station as I got closer to the end.

From a Western perspective the phoning and declaring love at near 4am is definitely going to kill any chance of a romance or so we're lead to believe.

I have no idea if the same would hold true in Japan.

I thought the ending was appropriate. It wasn't important whether Tsukuru was going to be with Sara or not. I believe what was important was the self-realisation that Tsukuru experienced. Sara was the catalyst for him to go on that journey, discover the emotional block in his heart and understand himself better. In a way, I felt that the book ends as Tsukuru begins a new journey.

Andrew wrote: "I just finished the book this morning. It's pretty clear to me what happens next. Tsukuru got dumped.."

Yeah, and I assume that's part of the reason the story ended there: why state the obvious. They didn't really seem compatible. She's polished, strong, and well-travelled; he's never been out of the country, sits in his apartment alone every night dwelling on the past, and does nothing. Notice that she always has to make time for him in her schedule, while his is wide open. With her other boyfriend, she's free and open, maybe even being whisked away; with Tazaki, she's more of his life counselor. That difference was startling enough even to him that it hurt him the most.

That said, I wonder if he'd taken Eri's advice and not mentioned the other boyfriend to Sara, if things would have turned out differently. But that may explain why he didn't take her advice: he has to finally believe in himself if he wants to move on, and I got the impression that rather than that, the book ended with him accepting that he needed to feel alone and empty to be who he was.

Perhaps he likes the idea of a girlfriend but faced when the real possibility he prefers to sabotage it or he really did feel that honesty was the best policy on his part.

One thing I found unexpected was that book ended with him ignoring one of her calls, while at the same time wanting to marry her. I don't know if that meant he was afraid to face the music or if he was so confident that he felt he could start ignoring her calls. Any thoughts on that?

Andrew wrote: " I don't know if that meant he was afraid to face the music or if he was so confident that he felt he could start ignoring her calls"
I think definitely the former. I felt that he paniced in the moment and the call rang out before I got it together to pick up.

It's interesting that Tsukuru assumes there's a romantic relationship between Sara and this "middle-aged man." (He thinks early 50s) While the age gap between the two is described as too young to be a father-daughter relationship ... Why not something else? Sara is pretty clear that she likes and finds Tsukuru more attractive each time they meet ... but, indeed it is 4 a.m.

Yeah that's what I thought as well. But when Tsukuru asks about it at the end and she doesn't give a response, and is instead evasive, I think we can assume the worst.

She's weighing up her options and having her fun where she can and while she can.

We know she likes to spend money on herself from the detail in which her clothes are described.

My feeling is that she is not ready to settle down and his sudden declaration at not quite 4 am doesn't help.

In reality how attractive would a real life Tsukuru be to a to a woman?

He is essentially a trainspotter who meticulously follows and appreciates his chosen interest and is fortunate to even work in a field related to it.

She travels, she shops, she knows where the good restaurants are, she roams.

I found the whole Sara story an unresolved part of this novel - why introduce this other character without us finding out what his relationship was to Sara - but ultimately I think Cornell above has the right take here, this story is about Tsukuru's self-realization, not about his relationship with Sara. I do have the strong feeling that whether or not he works things out with her (and whoever her companion is) that Tsukuru will not lead his life around it - up until now he has just been going through the motions with his life in stall mode, but now can go forward regardless of how things go around him.

I was hoping for some thread that connected his life together in some meaningful way. Like find out that Sara was actually Haida after a sex change, and that he murdered Shiro.

I was left feeling totally empty... which maybe was how I was supposed to feel... but I want to know what happens to Tsukuru!!! And who murdered Shiro!

I thought the ending was absolutely brilliant because it didn't really matter what happened with Sara. Tsukuru had achieved a personal epiphany and was equal to whatever the world dished out.

I'm a straightforward reader, so I think in the end Sara really accepted Tsukuru and that old man is just her sugar daddy. I don't know, it's just the idea I get after finished reading this book.

I loved the ending. I just finished another book with everything tied up in a bow and HATED that. lol Without the author telling me what happens, it allows me to come up with different endings on different days. And let's not forget the word "journey" in the title. This was truy a journey.

Andrew, I never thought about Sara being Haida, but what a great idea!

We don't know if he gets the girl or gets dumped. Nor do we need to know. That was not the point of the story. With that in mind, I found it a strong (from the readers' POV and brave (from the writer's POV) ending. Loved the book and the ending was fitting.

I ended up shouting, "No!" when I realized he was ending the novel half a day before the resolution. As is the theme for most of the discussion here, I also thought the breakup did seem pretty inevitable.

I much preferred this ending to that of 1Q84, which felt like the author was tired of writing after 800 pages. To me, it was rushed and much less developed than the rest of the work. At least with Tsukuru, the pacing was a lot more even all the way to the end, even if I had found myself hoping for a Hollywood ending since I'd grown to car about this train station designer.

To me tsukuru accepted the possibility that sara might choose the other man, and if that did happen he'll be hurt at first. However with his maturation throughout the story he'll be fine and move forward much like the trains he so much adores and leave the past behind. He also adds at the end that they hadn't lost the will to hope for something better and that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.

Cornell wrote: "I thought the ending was appropriate. It wasn't important whether Tsukuru was going to be with Sara or not. I believe what was important was the self-realisation that Tsukuru experienced. Sara w..."

Cornell, I agree with you, very nice post. In my mind, personal realization and identity is what Murakami writes of, it is his metier, his theme. And when does that ever stop, when is that process ever complete?

I tend to read several books at once, but one I'm slowly working my way into now is The Oxford Book of Japanese Short Stories, which has an amazing introduction by Theodore Goossen. I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but it is a fascinating exposition of the influence of western culture on Japanese literature, fascinating, and while I can imagine that some people might find his analysis too, hmm, prone to "pigeonhole" writers by time period, I do believe it has much to offer someone reading Japanese fiction, Murakami or Oe, whoever. And offer some hints on where to read next.

The way I see it this is a novel about self-discovery. It is not exactly a new theme for Murakami, but that does not matter to me. He has perfected the art of painting a portrait of loneliness, despair and the lack of self-respect with words.

Tsukurus "years of pilgrimage" is his journey towards understanding of the past which eventually leads to his rediscovery of his long-lost self-respect and self-worth.

When he starts to understand his past, he find more strength within himself. That is manifested by the late night phone call. He demands an answer, and will not give Sara more than the three days to answer. He tells her that.

So wether he ends up with Sara or not is an open question. May be she needed the three days to end it with the middle-aged guy? If she wanted to break it off with Tsukuru, why didn't she admit that she was seeing someone else?

The way I see it, Murakami hinted at an happy-ever-after-ending when he said that Tsukuru planned to propose to Sara if she chose him.

But the girl is not important. The novel was about self-discovery. It was not about a girl. So it all boils down to this: If Sara chooses him, he has grown as a person. If she rejects him too, he is back to square one. His heart remains frozen. It could not melt unaided.

So the ending is not about the girl, it is about the pilgrimage. Murakami asks the reader. What do you think? Has Tsukuru grown? Has he found his color and substance?

Lars wrote: "The way I see it this is a novel about self-discovery. It is not exactly a new theme for Murakami, but that does not matter to me. He has perfected the art of painting a portrait of loneliness, des..."

Wonderful post, Lars. Yes, I think Tsukuru has grown, because he is prepared for Sara to go her own way. And as to the color issue, I think, maybe, I'm just hazarding a guess, his name, the one who makes things, is what matters, and it is more true to who he is than any arbitrary "color name" would be. But I don't much like to put Murakami in boxes of what I think and so forth. I like to experience him and his characters, let them surround me, become assimilated in the world he creates, and leave having learned something, hmm, something gentle, usually. But lovely post!

Ellen wrote: "Lars wrote: "The way I see it this is a novel about self-discovery. It is not exactly a new theme for Murakami, but that does not matter to me. He has perfected the art of painting a portrait of lo..."

Thank you, Ellen.

That is a great point. According to Aka, Tsukuru is the one who made the group possible. The one who made the others blossom.

I completely agree with you. I like to just get swallowed by his stories. I don't pay much mind to what he might mean by this or that. I usually call his works portraits of feelings, just as Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates is a portrait of a marriage.

Ah, yes. There's a writer, essayist, Janet Winterson, I think, who in her book "Art Objects" says that we have become spoiled in our approach to art. She's speaking specifically in the first essay in the book of art-art, paintings and so forth, but her premise is that we pass selfishly by a work or art and dismiss it, saying, "This has nothing to say to me," while we should be spending long periods of time contemplating a work of art, digging, meditating, saying instead, asking instead, "What do I say to this work of art?" This, she says, is the only way we can learn, expand ourselves, but we have become lazy. So lately I've been saying "What can I say to this book?" Funny, I'm involved in an ekphrastic poetry project which calls for exactly that -- I have to pick a piece of art and sit with it and write of it, and I need to ask myself just that, "What can I say to this work?" I mean, I don't have to approach it that way, I suppose I could say "What does this say to me?", but that feels so insular, so self-absorbed. I feel that way about Murakami. I may take this approach to life, considering turning my thinking around. "What can I say/bring to/learn from this?" No more "What's in this for me?" Put the value, the meaning, in the work I'm taking in, and devalue my own ego, put aside what I believe I know in favor of something I may not. Maybe that's what Tsukuru learned? Just occurred to me. How interesting.

Cornell wrote: "I thought the ending was appropriate. It wasn't important whether Tsukuru was going to be with Sara or not. I believe what was important was the self-realisation that Tsukuru experienced. Sara w..."

YES. This is exactly what I had thought about the ending to this novel.

I had a sinking feeling as the percentage read meter of the kindle approached completion. But I wasn't too disappointed. Train stations and balconies and lonely people fill me with foreboding; it's all too easy to imagine someone like Tsukuru ending his story instead of continuing his life's story -and of course that is how the book began.
There are many unfinished or unexplained strands in this book: Shiro's murder; Haida's vanishing act; the shaky boundary between dreams and reality. At times I wonder if Murukami is unable to create an ending. But in the end it didn't matter; I devoured the pages as much as I might in any must know what happens pot-boiler and was left with a satisfying feeling of life and stories going on.

I don't know why, but books which leave me hanging with no sequel are quite appealing to me. It makes me think about the novel long after completion.

I admit, I was hoping for more closure at the end, and I did have a sinking feeling as I realized it was not going to happen. Closure is so out of fashion in postmodern literary fiction, and I often find myself grumpy over an open ending. However, this book's ending felt optimistic to me. It's interesting to me that others here have reached a whole different conclusion than I have, when it comes to what occurs when Tsukuru meets up with Sara. I have decided that they do end up together. However, I do agree that what happens with their relationship isn't the point when it comes to the journey that Tsukuru has gone through. He has achieved a much greater understanding of himself and also of how others perceived him. They never took him for the "Colorless Tsukuru" he always thought they did. No matter what happens next, I think that the next part of his life will be much better than what has come before.

Wouldn't it be interesting to know what Japanese readers of Murakami think? For instance, on the issue of closure, or ending. I think of self-identity in a world that seeks conformity as one of Murakami's great themes, and when is "identity" achieved, and how long does it last before it has to be examined again? And I think about Kenzaboro Oe's theme of people living lives of incredible personal pain in the midst of a society that demands self-effacement. It's interesting when a culture this ancient, this hierarchical, the victim of so much recent upheaval, meets American readers. For instance, and I'm not telling anyone anything they don't know, but the samurai were not just a warrior class, they were the ruling, and the educated, class. Hence Yukio Mishima -- the warrior scholar. Can these two aspects of the human psyche co-exist easily in most people? Most Japanese people? Most American people? I think there may be, or, better said, I would be interested to know if there was, a Japanese take on Murakami that is different from that of Western readers. Just curious, and I'm going to have to investigate... once I finish investigating everything else I have on my Investigation List! Now wait, I thought of another Japanese writer I've recently discovered, Yoko Ogawa, author of The Housekeeper and the Professor. This book was wonderful, mysterious, joyful, painful, sweet, and, again, no real closure, no true tying up of ends. Some explanation, but no attempt to, hmm, bring characters together, nothing we think of as Western themes, redemption, for instance, or forgiveness, or the rewards to be won by going against the norm. At least in my mind. Some of this, I really do think, has to be cultural. At least that's what I'm thinking right now.

I think that Murakami has an interesting perspective, having spent many years in the US before returning to Japan. I read somewhere that the way he found his writing "voice" was to write in English and then translate back to Japanese. I believe he has commented on going against the grain, in certain ways, of the Japanese-literature establishment. I am in no way conversant enough in that canon to comment, though.

This might be the first time that I was actually FURIOUS at the end of the book. I want to rage and I want to slap Murakami in the face! Yet again another rushed ending. Yet again another unresolved ending. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get why we don't really need to know what happened between Sara and Tsukuru. I get it. But I still want my story wrapped up. I don't want to be left hanging, because here's the deal with this book: I didn't really care about the characters. I've already them in his other books. Small consolation for me would to have at least know that there was a happy ever after...But now. Now I'll stew about the ending and now I may or may not read another Murakami novel. I am sure I will, but the time between his books becomes longer and longer. I simply can't put up with his abuse. He's like the M. Night Shyamalam of literature.

Mirkat wrote: "I admit, I was hoping for more closure at the end, and I did have a sinking feeling as I realized it was not going to happen. Closure is so out of fashion in postmodern literary fiction, and I oft..."

I agree! Gimme some closure! Murakami's done this before. I feel like I can't trust him and if I can't trust him, I don't want to read him...

Every time I read a Murakami book I absolutely love the beginning, enjoy the middle, and feel very blah and 'meh' about the ending. I really enjoy his writing style so I keep coming back to his books anyway. But I was surprised at how many interesting threads in this book ended up going nowhere - like Haida, and the slight obsession with six fingers for a bit of time, and the man who played the piano (what was his 'alter-ego' in the bag?) Why did we hear that story about Haida's father and the whole 'dying' thing? It was such an intriguing part of the book that Murakami just sort of ignored afterwards, focusing more on the relationship with Sara which to me wasn't nearly as gripping... For closure at the end of the book, I wasn't so concerned as to whether Tsukuru ended up with Sara, I just wanted him to have another dream that might reveal clues about Shiro's death or his link to Haida or the dying man or anything mysterious that had been started but never finished!! I still enjoyed the book for what it was: to quote a poster above, a 'portrait' of feelings, nicely put :) I should know better than to look for answers in a Murakami novel anyway! His strength is the way he paints scenes and feelings into you so you are transported like a dream, at least that's always how I feel with his writing. I guess I just wanted to be in this world for longer, and figure more stuff out!

I'm going to wax philosophical here for a minute, just musing, not in answer to any one comment, but just a thought. Life, daily life, doesn't tie itself up in neat endings, and expecting that it should leads to all sorts of unhappiness. I'm just wondering why modern literature should tie everything up when life doesn't? We no longer live in a culture, here, where I live, at least, where we have roles we are expected to assume and adhere to for a lifetime. Do we miss that so greatly in our lives? Is that why we want neat endings in books? Aren't some great modern novels "a slice of life"? Don't they give us a glimpse, for a time, into a life, and then leave us with an understanding of the there and then, that moment? Again, just musing.

Such an interesting comment, Ellen. As I said, previously, I, personally prefer Murakami's types of endings. And another perspective on endings--my book club discussed a book yesterday where 8 people were present. Six thought the book ended definitively one way, one thought definitively a different way and another thought it ended not definitively at all--an ending that could have gone either way!

Ellen wrote: "I'm going to wax philosophical here for a minute, just musing, not in answer to any one comment, but just a thought. Life, daily life, doesn't tie itself up in neat endings, and expecting that it should leads to all sorts of unhappiness. I'm just wondering why modern literature should tie everything up when life doesn't? We no longer live in a culture, here, where I live, at least, where we have roles we are expected to assume and adhere to for a lifetime. Do we miss that so greatly in our lives? Is that why we want neat endings in books? Aren't some great modern novels "a slice of life"? Don't they give us a glimpse, for a time, into a life, and then leave us with an understanding of the there and then, that moment? Again, just musing."

I think that this is pretty much the reasoning for the postmodern open endings. The reasoning is completely valid, but nonetheless, I do sometimes find myself yearning for definitive closure in a novel.

Mirkat wrote: "Ellen wrote: "I'm going to wax philosophical here for a minute, just musing, not in answer to any one comment, but just a thought. Life, daily life, doesn't tie itself up in neat endings, and expec..."

Mirkat, I agree. I do long for that sometimes. Then I go to Trollope if I'm in that mood, or Anne Tyler, or Philip Roth. You know who rarely has an "ending ending" is Alice Munro. That just dawned on me. Of course, the short story is a different vehicle, understood to be a moment in time. But I know what you mean. I guess I know I won't get that from My friend KM, so maybe I just don't notice what I'm not looking for. I do think of his characters as though they're still real, still in the world, long after I've finished the book, just because, I guess, maybe, KM leaves me that way, with unfinished business, unanswered questions. Sometimes you do want closure. I don't think I look to him for that, is all. Hmm. Interesting, too, to sort of combine this with what Anita said about her book club splitting on the definitive ending of what they were reading. So, it must be, even when we're given what seems to be an outcome, maybe we all see it differently, anyway!

Ellen wrote: "I'm going to wax philosophical here for a minute, just musing, not in answer to any one comment, but just a thought. Life, daily life, doesn't tie itself up in neat endings, and expecting that it ..."

I agree with you completely...The problem I often have with Murakami is that he structures his plot in such as way that leads the reader to believe that there will be a definitive ending, that there will be closure. From the beginning to the middle to the near end, everything goes swimmingly, and then POW! The End. 1Q84 is a great example. Several hundred pages to set up the end and suddenly it's over. So, not only are his endings not wrapped up, but they're often rushed. My problem is that I so thoroughly enjoy the world's he creates that I keep going back for more, even though I know I am going to be frustrated with the end and all of the other loose ends left untied.

Ellen wrote: " I do think of his characters as though they're still real, still in the world, long after I've finished the book, just because, I guess, maybe, KM leaves me that way, with unfinished business, unanswered questions.

Yes! Plus he writes the characters so that I feel I know them, miss them after the book is over, and wish I could know how they're doing.

Sometimes you do want closure. I don't think I look to him for that, is all.

That's probably the healthiest approach to reading Murakami. (Then maybe someday he'll surprise us with unexpected closure!)

Shawn wrote: "My problem is that I so thoroughly enjoy the world's he creates that I keep going back for more, even though I know I am going to be frustrated with the end and all of the other loose ends left untied. "

Same here. Glutton for punishment that I am, I began Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World a couple of days ago. :)

I just finished "Hard-Boiled." It was my first book after of his after "Colorless," and if you didn't think "Colorless" left you without an ending, can't wait to hear what you think of this one. I did love it! And I admit there were parts I just didn't "get," but it added to my reading pleasure--didn't take away from it.

I would've liked a more solid idea of where Tazaki's life was heading. He says he might decide to die if he cannot have Sara. The threat of suicide seems like a heavy weight to leave hanging over Tazaki's head.

I used to enjoy open endings to novels. At one time, they felt fresh. They still work well if they fit the novel, but they do seem increasingly de rigeur.

Anita wrote: "I just finished "Hard-Boiled." It was my first book after of his after "Colorless," and if you didn't think "Colorless" left you without an ending, can't wait to hear what you think of this one. ..."

Uh-oh.... ;)

Lee wrote: "I used to enjoy open endings to novels. At one time, they felt fresh. They still work well if they fit the novel, but they do seem increasingly de rigeur."

Yes, I think this is pretty much where I am with open endings. I'm ready for the pendulum to swing back.

Open endings that leave the reader wondering about how things resolved have their place. They create a frisson of a sort, a yearning to see what is around the corner that can be quite pleasant. I find it so. Sometimes though one would like all the threads picked up, all the bows tied and lingering questions answered. It's a delicate balancing act on the authors part. One that was successfully acomplished here, but if he continues with a sequel I would be delighted.

I think the ending was most definitely a sign for a sequel. It was a cliff hanger. Although, I'm sure that Tsukuru won't end up with Sara as there was already a premonition before. It was mentioned in one of the first chapters how he had a dream wherein he had intense desire for a woman. But at that time Tsukuru and us readers didn't know who. And the woman said she had the ability to separate the body and the heart and she could only give Tsukuru one. At the time, Tsukuru wanted none if he couldn't have all of her but wasn't able to tell the woman his answer. Now, we all know that the woman is Sara. Sara has given her heart to Tsukuru as she even helped Tsukuru with his pain. Now, at this point, as the stories were revealed -- Shiro being assaulted, Shiro being strangled -- we know that Tsukuru's dreams are powerful. And he explained that those sexual dreams he had from then may have been from the sexual tensions he controlled to maintain the group's harmony. Then what about his dream with Haida? There wasn't any explanation for that yet. And what happened to Haida? The sixth finger he heard about? Midorikawa? Passing the death onto someone else? Shiro's murderer? These were all introduced but weren't given much light. Especially Midorikawa's experience. Also, the title says it all. Years of Pilgrimage. This is just the beginning of Tsukuru's pilgrimage I think. Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I haven't read all of his works, this being my second book. The first book I've read by Murakami was Kafka. So, I haven't concluded for myself whether it's his style to leave an ending like this or not.

Melody wrote: "I don't know how I feel about the ending? It would be such a different novel if you got to know what happened the next day. Perhaps a much less subtle and interesting book. Is his openness to the l..."
Hi Melody. I just finished this book, and I think Tsukuru passed. A few pages earlier, he thinks that "if he intensely concentrated his feelings on one fixed point...his heart would suffer a fatal blow." And then in the final paragraph of the book, he focuses on "the last express train of the night" which ultimately disappears "into the depths of the night."

I still think there's enough in the book to logically conclude what most likely happens after the ending. It doesn't work out with Sarah but he overcame his issues and will overcome that as well. Being unburdened by his past he'll probably find a new girlfriend pretty quickly. The entire story is pretty much one slow process of him getting dumped by her without realizing it.

Ellen wrote: "Ah, yes. There's a writer, essayist, Janet Winterson, I think, who in her book "Art Objects" says that we have become spoiled in our approach to art. She's speaking specifically in the first essa..."

Jeanette Winterson is the author of that book, I loved it!

Andrew wrote: "I still think there's enough in the book to logically conclude what most likely happens after the ending. It doesn't work out with Sarah but he overcame his issues and will overcome that as well. ..."
Andrew, everyone, I'm completely convinced he died at the end. Am I the only one who sees it that way?