Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

Recently, someone asked, “What are some of ya’ll’s favorite Popcorn posts? (Message number, please, so I can go look for them).”

The Get to Know Your Character (Popcorn Served) thread is vast, and many of the posts make up segments of soap-opera-like narratives. It occurred to me that it might be fun to have a thread in which members who have braved Popcorn Served could relate posts they particularly liked, or lines that stood out for them.

Your commentary can be as long and involved as you wish. To keep the thread manageable, however, please refrain from quoting large blocks of dialogue. As a reference for quotations, supply the author and message number in parentheses--for example, (Kyra, 2151). It tells at once who wrote it and which post is the source.

I’ll start with a line from one of the thread’s first posts:

“Al: Well, sorry, Mr. I’m the Best in the World, but this is really good popcorn and I was hungry, so I couldn’t help but shove it in my mouth and eat it all at once!” (Alex, 2)

I guess life gets in the way. It will be fun to look back through the thread and mine it for interesting lines!

Frank: Shall we go out or eat in?
Al: Out. Let me go get dressed.
Frank: That’s not necessary. I’ll get dressed appropriately to match you.
Al: What will the pirates think?
Frank: Tell ’em we’re nudists. (Alex, 2188)

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Nikara: We only have one cannon? We’re the lousiest pirates ever to set sail.
Kyra: That’s not exactly a secret. (Kyra, 2191)

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Al: I was hoping you had died, fallen off a cliff, got shot, burned alive, buried alive, anything.
Frank: Now, that’s not very nice. (Alex, 2209)

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Septimus: He’s much better at overwrought mythology than light conversation. (Edward, 2213)

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Sara: Jesus, here we go again. Now she’s going to name them all.
Kyra: 1984 is really good, for instance. And I really enjoyed the Legend trilogy. The first Partials book is good, but it lost its way after a little while . . .
Sara: For Christsake, kill me now. (Kyra, 2217)

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Sophia: Guy! Don’t.
Guy: What? Don’t what?
Sophia: Start listing books you’ve read. (Guy, 2218)

. . . Besides, aren’t you tired of crying, woman? You’ve gone through two boxes of tissues in two days, and your dog is starting to stay away. (Paula, 2184)

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Nicky: Oh, never mind. Say, have you heard that joke about the Dyslexic who went skiing?
WS: No . . .
Nicky: Well he didn’t know if he should zig, zag or zag zig.
WS: So what did he do?
Nicky: Well, he stopped a guy passing by and asked him.
WS: And?
Nicky: The guy said, how should I know; I’m a tobogganist, and so the dyslexic guy says, oh great I’ll have 20 Marlboro Lights please! (Nicky, 2186)

Arson: Mice?
Treasure: Yup. Apparently there is a question of two Franks going around as well.
Arson: Really? I thought France got rid of those years ago. (Treasure Ducky, 2180)

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Terry: Even I think it’s sad that’s how you interpreted that. Do you ever just admire beauty?

Me: Sure, when it’s raining, I completely relax. I imagine how many miles evaporated water can travel before finally precipitating and falling to Earth, like -- (Edward, 2171)

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Frank: You also talk in your sleep.
Al: I know.
Frank: Last night we had a conversation about how umbrellas were going to take over the library. . . . (Alex, 2160)

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Me: Yeah but you have to swab the deck. It’s the first thing that newcomers do.
David: But something tells me you had to do it but you’re just passing the job onto me . . .
Me: Just get going, newbie. (Tries to suppress a laugh). (CJ, 2145)

Mandy: [Rolls around in the floor howling with laughter.]
Frank: You’re faking.
Mandy: You probably have a lot of experience with women faking it. (Mandy, 2143)

---

Temperance: So over all?

Me: You’re an emotional barometer who balances active non-violence with necessary violence, who can find solid middle ground in any situation. (Edward, 2126)

Sara: And what’s Christmas?
Nikara: An annual custom in which people decorate trees with dangerous glass ornaments and buy each other empty presents. (Kyra, 2092)

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Sara: Dangit! The Cap’n just forbade all mice killings.
Nikara: There are other means of punishment that don’t involve death. (Kyra, 2065)

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Frank: [He pounds on the door.] Let me in!
Al: Why should I?
Frank: Because the mice are plotting to toss me overboard! (Alex, 2050)

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Neve: You can’t stop talking, can you? Don’t you know, yet, that no one really listens to you?! Well, between you and me, most everyone would rather throw sand in their eyes than listen to you prate on about . . . about . . . well. Prate. On. About nothing.
Guy: Did you hear the Chinese parable about the world’s best mouser? It’s about a cat that— (Guy, 2029)

Lokus Leadgoth: Okay, um . . . how about a bedtime story? Once upon a time, there was a fiery red dragon. And he burned an entire village down with just one badass breath! (Garrison, 2015)

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Nikara: (laughs aloud) Oh, this topic is too perfect. Kyra literally just got back from getting her hair cut.
Kyra: (blowing hair from face) She did the part too far over. My hair keeps getting in my eyes. (Kyra,1997)

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Yes, it’s evening here and I'm about to do a few rounds as a ghost :D (Leslie, 1972)

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Det. Mallard: Do you have a drinking problem?
Me: Well, no.
Det. Mallard: Then you aren’t a real cop. (CJ, 1964)

I use supporting characters sometimes. Those are fun, because I usually don’t know a whole lot about my supporting characters until I make myself spend time with them. (Kyra,1952)

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Terry: You should really be nice to your writer. Even if they don’t kill you, they can make your life very miserable. (Edward, 1945)

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Nikara: My fellow crewmates, this is it! I bid you all adieu, for we will not be seeing you all for some time. You will live forever in our hearts-
Sara: (snort) She does know we're just going to summer camp. Right? (Kyra, 1928)

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I don’t leave the tavern much, either, unless I have to. (M, 1922)

unless you have to go to the coffee pot? :P (Leslie, 1923)

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Gugrich: Look, last time I listened to you, I ended up walking waist deep in human feces to rescue another man’s woman. (Alex Hurst, 1902)

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Sophia: What would you know? Here you are, a middle aged professor with thinning hair and a fear of diminished libido surrounded by frustrated academics and the only way you are getting anything is with college students who can’t find their batteries. (Guy, 1897)

Anna: You’re mean. You’re a mean, mean meanie! I should go on strike.
J.B.: (wanders off) I’m not paying you anything.
Anna: (shouts after him) That’s because I’m dead, isn’t it? That’s discrimination, you know! Plus, dead child - that’s like, child labor, or something. You’re really asking for it! (J.B., 1865)

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Temperance: Actually sounds like a pretty good story.
Septimus: Better in theory than on paper. He doesn’t even have a mid-story twist. We pretty much stand around talking until violent things happen at the end. (Edward, 1815)

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Me: (She laughs.) You’re not a very good cook.
Frank: Why do you think I’ve always had my meals delivered? (Alex, 1812)

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Nikara: You know what goes nice with poetry?
Sara: Espresso beans? (Kyra, 1730)

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Frank: [He doesn’t hear her speaking to him. He’s off in a far away world, a world filled with kitchen sinks, knives, psychopaths and flower delivery men.] (Alex, 1726)

Alex, you should really avoid the guys who don't wear pants. (Hanzleberry, 1686)

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Ajay: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. (Ajay, 1602)

Mouse #2: (Gnawing on a piece of canvas.) What does Frank have that I don’t have?
Mouse #8: (Glancing up from a sliver of beef jerky.) Graying hair. (M, 2177)

****

Nikara: Kyra, what are you doing?
Kyra: Trying to find Scribble City!
Sara: Well, what state is it in?
Nikara: (sighing) I'm surrounded by idiots. (Kyra, 2119)

Aww man I remember reacting to some classic Alex popcorn. I tried to find it since I made a remark about it but can't through clicking Members and comments. I'll have to search again sometime. XD

M wrote: "Alex, you should really avoid the guys who don't wear pants. (Hanzleberry..."

Haha! That is good.

Pandora: . . . Neve, would you please go to our honoured visitor, and request that he wait.
Neve: As you will. [She turns and begins to leave. Then stops.] How long before you will see him?
Pandora: I have no idea. How long is he willing to wait? (Guy, 1546)

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Nikara: (snatching bag) I might have a couple things in mind. Kyra, which ship are we taking?
Kyra: I found one called The Jillian
Sara: Sounds a little wishy-washy.
Kyra: Well, how many people are likely to kill us on a ship called The Jillian?
Nikara: Never judge a book by its cover. If I were an assassin or a murderer, or some other kind of villain, I’d name my ship something vague and weak. It’s the ships with the scary-sounding names you don’t need to worry about. (Kyra, 1483)

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Mossers: (He gets close to Charlie, his face becoming distorted in the pale candlelight.) Aye, that demon’s not just any vampire. She’s a temptress, a seductress.
Charlie: (He gulps down the bit of apple.) What do you mean?
Erica: She’s a succubus, Charles. You know, the kind of woman who goes around preying on helpless, lonely men like you? (Alex, 1466)

Nikara: Sara, I’m going to kill you. You nearly startled me into welding a metal bar to my hand. (Kyra, 1436)

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Me: Guys, why’s that creepy guy locked in the brig???
Sara: Long story, that. (Kyra, 1411)

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Writer #1: I do, but I’m fairly sure you’re getting sick of getting strangled.
Writer #2: (She sets her glasses on the desk and leans back in her chair, pulling the clip out of her hair, letting it hang around her shoulders.) If I was getting sick of it, I wouldn’t have let you write it.
Writer #1: (He shrugs.) Alright, let’s continue then. . . . (Alex, 1409)

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Sara: (bursting into room) I need six clotheslines, a tube of toothpaste, vodka, fourteen packages of Band-Aids, and an apple. Stat. (Kyra, 1380)

Yeah, the heat that set in made it a little difficult to get comfortable, but once I fell asleep there were no tiny LED lights or humming electronics to disturb me. Just wind singing me through my dreams. (Edward, 1301)

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Septimus: Hey, mind the forth wall.
Terry: This entire thread is a giant wrecking ball brought against the forth wall. (Edward, 1238)

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Frank: I don’t believe we have. (He looks down at his bare chest and unsocked feet.) Pardon my garb. I was thrown overboard by some Buxton impostor. (He holds out his old wrinkly, tan hand)
Al: (Bursts out laughter.)
Frank: I don’t have wrinkly old hands! Erase that! (Alex, 1215)

---

Nikara: Any second now.
Sara: Unless they kill the Buxton double.
Nikara: They can’t. He’s mechanic. I found some spare parts in the wine cellar last week.
Sara: Why were there spare parts in the wine cellar?
Nikara: Who knows? All I know is, Buxton’s gonna chase Frank and Al out right about . . .
(door flies open, three figures scramble out, look at one another, scream, and run in three different directions)
Nikara: . . . Now. (Kyra, 1205)

I woke up standing in the middle of the kitchen last night. That was strange, but other than that I slept fairly well. (Alex, 1122)

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Al: Aww, is poor little Frank angry that he didn’t get what he wanted?
Frank: You-you!
Al: You what?
Frank: Vile temptress! (Alex, 1097)

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Terry: This place is as bad as Moorboro High.
Me: Probably for the same reason.
Terry: Boredom?
Me: Got it in one. . . . (Edward, 1096)

“Oh, look, you’re covered in blood,” she noted redundantly in a whine of a voice.

Terry smeared a trickle down his face into a sheet across his cheek and remarked, “Don’t worry; most of it is mine.” (Edward, 1089)

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M wrote: “Wherever you live, there’s always someplace worse.”

Logically, that assumes an infinite universe. (Edward, 1034)

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The weather is beautiful . . . but moody. (Cheyenne, 1015)

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Me: If you continue on with why you named yourself Albert I’ll shove a pair of chopsticks down your throat. (Cheyenne, 987)

Some of my favorite lines by Alex from early in the thread:


Putnam: I was going to ask if you wanted to see a flying pig.
Me: Sure you were. (32)

Me: Your shoe is untied.
Buxton: *looks down at feet* No they're not.
Me: I know. But they will be and then you will trip in the hallway and Nurse Kingsburry will laugh at you and call you a picklepuss. (38)

Putnam: *looks at Al* You have those day dreamy look in your eyes again.
Me: Yeah.....I like flowers. Roses, sunflowers, lillies-
Putnam: Pansies.
Buxton: I hate pansies. This is why I hate you. (98)

Me: If it involves needles, seditives, chains and the shock shop, I'm not going. (102)

Buxton: She could be a blonde in real life. (106)

It was fun introducing many to Detective Mallard in said group. This character wasn't yet given a ready to launch story. I hope for many moments to work with him. Because of that thread I have found his flaws almost as much as strengths; if only he would lay off the coffee sometimes he'd see he was a thinker as well as a person who needs caffeine to get the Grey going...

Detective Mallard is indeed one of the interesting characters.


Frank: I’m going to strangle the living hell out of you, Evan!
Dobbs: Not if I get to you first, Frankie poo! (Alex, 899)

---

Wow, what a busy day! Out to buy some garden supplies, then gardening; make lunch, bake buttermilk shortbread cakes with blueberries, mint sauce for the lamb roast, prep the lamb and beets for roasting, serious clean-up and now for shower! But hey, I’ll be back, eventually. (Guy, 871)

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Albert: Oh? It isn’t using it to your advantage when you turn your bad ear to people when they’re saying boring things?
Me: No. It’s self preservation. If I listened to them I’d go mad.
Albert: Well I’m glad you can justify your rudeness. (Cheyenne, 973)

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Sara: I believe you were about to call him a female dog? (Kyra, 953)

Like you can talk, M. That scene between Tavy and Spades. I have that saved in word and read that every once in a while. It’s really wonderfully shocking.

I’m going to go throw up now. (Alex, 819)

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Alex, Alex, Alex . . . All I can do is shake my head. Here I am, trying to keep everything on a children’s level, like “The Three Bears,” and you go and post something shocking. (M, 817)

Yeah, Al! I'm only 13! (Treasure Ducky, 818)

Ah, I dearly wish I could write popcorn like you guys. I'm terrible at it.

I think if I can do it anyone can write popcorn! All it takes is some insistence to give a character dialogue and bit of a story and you will realize over time the person has become no longer a character but a "person" and an interesting one to boot.

Well put, CJ! Plus, even I come up with a good line now and then if I write enough dialogue.

Oh no, I'm not good at dialogue at all. It always comes out sounding trite and forced.

Septimus: If only Terry was boring ...
Me: Then you would have never caught on to the Abomination, found your fungus, or arrived at Philadelphia at the exact right moment to be involved in the event in which you meet the love of your life? (Edward, 2261)

***

Mouse #6: (Nibbling contentedly.) May the Great Mouse bless whoever spilled these Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its. (M, 2265)

***

Professor: I am the insane one, the one who needs help! I keep thinking you are someone I can get advice about life from, and here you are playing a stupid staring game with a rodent! [He leaves, but not before mock kicking the mouse, who did not flinch.] (Guy, 2280)

***

Frank: You told Ajay that the "real" Frank was just a lonely old man with a high libido. [He looks at Al and waits for an answer.]
Al: [She doesn't look up from the book Dragon Tears.] I might have said that...come to think of it, I said it this morning. (Al, 2300)

***

I just hate it when a lonely, pervy, old man interrupts my reading! (Connie, 2307)

Wait. Don't anyone tell my husband I said that. (Connie, 2308)

These are great quotes, Leslie. So funny!

I don't think at all that they're terrible Al. In fact I am going to put down one now. It may be new at the moment but will go down in WSS history! :D

--

Buxton: She flung a toaster at you?
Frank: I deserved it. I flung a food processor at her first. (Al, 2319)

--

This was a great re-read! Thank you M for doing this and for everyone's contributions.

Was thinking the same thing. From me too, thanks for posting this M!