What's the Name of That Book??? discussion

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The Sense of an Ending
SOLVED: Adult Fiction
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SOLVED. Fiction- British coming of age novel told in two parts: first in retrospective, then in the present. [s]
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First in retrospective where the narrator outlines events that happens shortly after college. The main character (narrator) is dating a girl but the eventually break up. After some time, a close friend starts dating the girl. The main character writes a letter to them both expressing his displeasure. Eventually the girl and friend break up and the friend commits suicide. I believe the girlfriends mother is involved in some way.
The second part of the novel takes place in the present . The narrator, much older now, wants to figure out what happened to the friend and reconnect with the ex girlfriend. I think the friend had left a letter for him? (view spoiler)[ I think a child was born, possibly out of wedlock, and possibly with a mental disability. (hide spoiler)]