Amazon exiles discussion

Excuse the rambling nature of the post. I accept that people's perceptions of art will be subjective and personal and that even folks who dislike Prog Rock have a right to breathe. However I can't understand what makes an idiot submit (for example) a book review for Dickens "Great Expectations" calling it "boring" and rating it 1 star. Why would you show your ignorance and bad taste, or even presume you had the right to do so? I mean a completely unqualified and unjustified comment. Not even " I found this book boring because I have a very short attention span, don't understand words of more than 2 syllables and like lots of pictures (to colour in)." Because that is how they will be judged while their "review" will cause amusement, mild offence or simply be dismissed. Is it time for some qualified moderation of reviews, a minimum length of review (eg 200 words) or for reviewers to be forced to upload qualifications, certificates etc proving their fitness to review? Or should each review be reviewed and reviewers rated? Or maybe could I be over-reacting ?

Huck wrote: "Excuse the rambling nature of the post. I accept that people's perceptions of art will be subjective and personal and that even folks who dislike Prog Rock have a right to breathe. However I can't ..."

I firmly believe a Chinese style of internet credit score to be utterly essential and postings like this can be marked down and the people responsible summarily excised from the internet. Of course it would never be enacted either fairly or proportionately and moon landing denying, flat earth, anti-vax, brexit supporting, 67 gender idealising idiots and lying politicians would still get to share their opinion as equal to fact . . .

Sorry, i meant: Yes, you are over reacting.

How about this for a review of a Robin Trower box set?


5.0 out of 5 stars
This is extraordinary music, the price for 10 CDs is simply helpful! 14 March 2019
Verified Purchase



Trower and his collaborators, their music is an extraordinary combination of things. (This is a dedication to Robin Trower, he’s still going though, as of March 14th 2019.)

Three police officers have just been at my door. They wanted to know why I took 10 Robin Trower Cds for just £25.

I should have simply shamed the devil, said the WPC and when I protested it was not a crime, lots worse things went on nowadays, man-cop #1 shrugged:’You haven’t just ridden a coach and horses through the law, you SOLD the horse and SMASHED the cart’.

‘A cart is not the same as a coach’ I smirked.

‘We can lie...’ man-cop #2 intervened ‘...lie until you’re all caught up in a network of lies’.

‘A network of lies...and liars?’ I enquired insultingly. ‘That would make your station a madhouse.’

‘Speaking of which, why don’t we move this to the station, I feel it’s about to begin in here.’ said WPC.

I told them, I had nothing to say.

‘A tale untold, you think that’s how it’s gonna be?’ sighed man-cop #1. ‘A fine day when we let a perp go unpunished. I used to be gullible to all sorts of people’s networks of lies, then one day I woke up and just said to myself I am gonna be more suspicious...’

‘More suspicious from now on?’ I interjected. ‘For the sake of your CV?’

‘No...’ he replied evenly ‘For earth below.’

I grabbed my coat and we went outside. Two marked cars were there. Theirs had drunks locked inside. The WPC suggested I take my own car. It was late I’d need to get back home in the early morning, after they’d been bleeding me dry, so I did add my car to theirs.

A right old caravan to midnight we’ll be, I thought.

‘We need to get on...’ man-cop #2 said, consulting his watch, ‘...Time is short, shift change soon, superintendent will moan.’

I added ‘Time is short when you’re falling down the ladder.’

‘From the bottom to the top’ the WPC was smirking and looking at my butt.

Station they said, but, we ended up at a pub.

The man-cops went to order drinks. ‘Jill’ said man-cop #2 nodding to the WPC ‘stick with him’. I had no money couldn’t even pay my rent, so they had to buy. The pub wouldn’t give drinks for free, business is business, that’s always the cry. It was me and the WPC.

‘Hold me’ she said simply.

‘I can never get enough’ she added.

Blimey I thought, have some pride.

Man-cop #1 was bumped into by some drunk at the bar and glowered at him. The drunk glowered straight back. The cop looked down at the beer spilled on him, and the drunk looking at his own stained shirt said ‘The same rain falls on you as falls on me.’

As the cops sat back down, some guitarist on stage was messin’ the blues. The cops seemed unimpressed, and with WPC eyeing me up I was looking for some roads to freedom.

‘Look’ I said ‘It’s been lovely, but my contravention is minor, can’t we just let it go?’

‘Hmmph’ went man-cop #2 ‘Only time will take this hurt away.’

They had a grip on me it seemed, I tried to break it but it can’t be done. I darted toward the kitchen, where the chef was doing some flambe nonsense. I ran right into the flame.

Outside and across the road and into the forest, I was tired and looking for somewhere to lay my head. When Jill came by I was sleeping, she said she thought I was dead.

‘Jack’ she whispered, using my name for the first time ‘Come back oh baby please don’t go’.

It had passed midnight. I would be glad when this was all over. Maybe tomorrow, twice removed from yesterday’s sweet madness, I would be able to forget. But like the cop said only time will take this hurt away.

All over our country, we have pretty much the same rainfalls. It just falls in different ways. Here, it was pouring down, and I was a victim of it’s fury.

After the rain, came a long misty day. The thrill had gone, but misty days linger on and on. They tell me in a million ways, I’m down on my luck.

I made it home. Cleaned up and sat down. Some get it smooth and some get it rough. Today was rough, let’s see about tomorrow...there will be something more I am sure, than this...I will find it...what lies beneath.

IRM/sleekitwan
14-03-19
Really can’t do it justice.

Brass Neck wrote: "How about this for a review of a Robin Trower box set?


5.0 out of 5 stars
This is extraordinary music, the price for 10 CDs is simply helpful! 14 March 2019
Verified Purchase

Trower and his co..."
is this a quotation from a work of fiction? Or original work? Certainly not a review but at least it doesn't diss a piece of music.

Sera69 wrote: "Huck wrote: "Excuse the rambling nature of the post. I accept that people's perceptions of art will be subjective and personal and that even folks who dislike Prog Rock have a right to breathe. How..."

Yes but, dammit, "Boring, dull, lifeless, and flat" submitted by an airhead called Chicklet has over 100 Helpful votes - this from more morons who are even too lazy to submit a review of their own. Another "review" - "Dickens is a jerk. Nobody likes his stuff" - this t055er doesn't even know Dickens is dead, never mind the astounding opinion that his fans are really deluded or in denial about liking him. Another dumb@55 reviewer states "I now understand the myth that Dickens was paid by the word." - showing awareness that it is a myth but still chosing to believe it and suggest that Dickens prose is somehow devalued as quantity over quality! Sad to see so many imbeciles reveal their numptiness and ignorance in such a small space !

Huck wrote: "Yes but, dammit, "Boring, dull, lifeless, and flat" submitted by an airhead called Chicklet has over 100 Helpful votes - this from more morons who are even too lazy to submit a review of their own. Another "review" - "Dickens is a jerk. Nobody likes his stuff" - this t055er doesn't even know Dickens is dead ..."

I believe the current socially mandated answer to this is: Ok, boomer.

Sera69 wrote: "I believe the current socially mandated answer to this is: Ok, boomer."

Maybe so, but it appears that most of these reviewers are Generation Z US teenages who were "forced" to read the book at high school without understanding or appreciating the cultural context. Maybe it's not their fault but they are threatening our literary heritage and for that, dear reader, i am gonna destroy their planet !

"folks who dislike Prog Rock have a right to breathe"

gasp, gasp..........cheers huck, i do enjoy a good breathe!

someday my log will have something to say about this, but it's way past my bed-time now.

Tech XXIII wrote: "someday my log will have something to say about this, but it's way past my bed-time now."

Since you're full of it, it'll be a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxSso... ;¬)

Tech XXIII wrote: ""folks who dislike Prog Rock have a right to breathe"

gasp, gasp..........cheers huck, i do enjoy a good breathe!"

I'm a tolerant man Tech, so you're welcome to some air but don't abuse the privilege. I guess I'm trying to understand why some people feel the need to review when they're not qualified to do so? I mean, i wouldn't attempt to change the filters in my car, i'd leave that to somebody with the tools and experience. If I read a book, watch a film, listen to a CD that doesn't agree with me I don't feel the need to rubbish it (without due consideration). I'm happy to accept that it's not my genre, it's aimed at a different age group or people with different interests and pass by. It is particularly exasperating when the piece in question is an established classic - by making crass, ill-informed and snapshot judgements you simply reveal your own poor taste, lack of intelligence or intolerance. Which is your choice, but I value product reviews and regularly read the 1 star reviews because a well argued 1 star review is more useful than a poor 5 star review in helping me judge the quality of the product. How's this for a 1 start review of Joni Mitchell's materpisce "Blue" titled: dull and boring - "i read the reviews of people who bought this and said buy this cd it's great and i went out and did it and i regret doing it after listening to this cd i can understand why no radio stations play her music in my city not 1 station.her voice is really awful.and the music is enough to put anyone to sleep.you wanna hear good folk music listen to love's forever changes or the kink's 68 masterpiece village green preservation society.this is the last time i go by other people.i can see why less and less people even know who joni mitchell is anymore.like her fans she is a dying breed."

Ignorant comments can be either annoying or good comedy, depending on how you feel.

I get more irritated by people leaving one star reviews criticising a marketplace seller, or damaged packages. These gripes are irrelevant to the product but still drag down it's overall rating.

Tim wrote: "Ignorant comments can be either annoying or good comedy, depending on how you feel.

I get more irritated by people leaving one star reviews criticising a marketplace seller, or damaged packages. T..."

Yes, i'm with you there Tim. Very irritating. Perhaps Feedback should have a drop down selection box
Select:
- i want to complain about the packaging
- i want to complain about how long it took to post the product to me
- i want to write an intelligent and, at times, witty critique of this piece or art
- i want to leave an embarrassingly ignorant 1 star so called review saying this product is a load of 5h1t because i like the sound of my own voice and feel that my irrelevant and worthless opinion needs to be heard

Huck wrote: "Tim wrote: "Ignorant comments can be either annoying or good comedy, depending on how you feel.

I get more irritated by people leaving one star reviews criticising a marketplace seller, or damaged..."

'because i like the sound of my own voice' - in cyberspace no one can hear you ……. spouting bollox.

That's true Brass but everyone in the world can read the bollix !
The tendency of 1 star numpties is to exclaim "this is the worst book/film/CD i have ever read/watched/eaten" - they may in fact be serial 1 star reactionaries - where everything they review is "the worst" - when you look at the things they rate 5 Star all is revealed.
It is also common for them to describe art they can't appreciate as "pretentious" which of course is a pretentious statement in almost every case.

Just saw this review of the Zoom H1n Handy Recorder

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Zoom-H1n-UK-...

"What did I use this product for? Well I had to attend a funeral, and I KNOW for sure my friends mum is still alive. So it was an open casket, so I threw the gadget in the coffin while telling her I know what she's up too, making it look like I was wishing her well in the afterlife. So then I waited around for AN HOUR for her to be lowered into the grave. As she was being lowered and everyone was crying and chucking mud and what not, I knew I made a mistake. I really should've bought a wireless transmitter, so I could hear her breathing, and probably laughing deviously, thinking she got away with murder, HER MURDER! Either way I was gonna have to dig myself outta this one somehow.... dig.... DIG! at that moment I realized, I had to go to her grave the following night and dig that b word outta the ground! After I got the soil out of the way I had to smash through the hard coffin, I saw Beatrix in that movie Kill Bill smash her way out easy, I wasn't about to be weaker that a god damn WOMAN! So I smashed the coffin to smithereens! I was super excited to retrieve the gadget. BUT the gadget wasn't there! nor was the old hag! Then I saw down in the coffin there was a note! I picked up the note, which read 'TOO SLOW!' then I saw under the note was a hole the old bag dug her way out! over all, instant 5 stars, great GREAT little gadget, maybe a wifi adapter would be better though."

Bizarre! :-)

Tim wrote: "Just saw this review of the Zoom H1n Handy Recorder

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Zoom-H1n-UK-...

"What did I use this product for? Well I had to attend a funeral, and I KNOW..."

And all his other reviews are:

"I wouldn't buy these they're not very good.

Instant five stars!"

Strange, Mr Beltwoman, strange.

Sera69 wrote: "Tim wrote: "Just saw this review of the Zoom H1n Handy Recorder

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Zoom-H1n-UK-...

"What did I use this product for? Well I had to attend a funeral..."

Mr Beltwoman is on the side of Huck, he sees the flaws in the reviewing system and he sends them up mercilessly. More power to his satiric elbow, I say.

Coincidentally, I own a Zoom R24/UK Multitrack Recorder but would not recommend it for Mr Beltwoman's job. For a start it is heavy on battery and reacts badly to contact with damp soil. Also, any sounds recorded that way would tend to be a little bass reverb heavy and difficult to mix.

Huck wrote: "Coincidentally, I own a Zoom R24/UK Multitrack Recorder but would not recommend it for Mr Beltwoman's job. For a start it is heavy on battery and reacts badly to contact with damp soil. Also, any s..."

Sounds perfect for an industrial groove (except for the damp soil bit, perhaps!)

Tim wrote: "Huck wrote: "Coincidentally, I own a Zoom R24/UK Multitrack Recorder but would not recommend it for Mr Beltwoman's job. For a start it is heavy on battery and reacts badly to contact with damp soil..."

Groove? did you mean g-rave ?

told you i'd get back to it.

i submit a lot of (practically brilliant) reviews on azamon, but i wouldn't touch anything that i already don't like (and that's a considerable list!), mainly because i tend not to buy things i don't like, but also i feel i'd be cutting into someone else's world of joy. it's too easy to get torn into ripping apart stuff like (yeah) prog rock or chuck dickens (never read one, don't ever intend to), but why bother, i don't have any time for all that, i'd rather concentrate on the magnificent stuff i enjoy.
but, there is a natural lust for blood which exists within reviewers, a craving to eat the brains out of stuff, but in the interests of fairness, i restrict this to monstrosities within my own sphere of interest - like, whilst i was upset that nick cave's latest album is dross, i relished sticking the knife in (that'll teach him to dare to bring out a very rare duffer!).
i do understand (and enjoy) the reviewer's urge to rip the guts out of a national treasure - everything is fair game, nothing is above criticism, i imagine it is very liberating to do so. there is nothing that is out of reach of being deemed a pile of shight! just as long as you have heard/read/watched and understood it!

Hi Tech, Happy New Year.
i rarely expend any effort producing negative reviews unless it's from disappointment. Some genres i can't understand or appreciate (eg Rap) so i just avoid them. I don't mind intelligent, informed and well argued hatchet jobs but hate to see crass, lazy rejections of "national treasures" that don't reflect the piece of work, just expose the "reviewer's" shortcomings in taste, intelligence or tolerance. Don't like the term fair game - connotations of beautiful creatures being murdered in the name of sport.

Seeing the ribbing Stephen King is currently taking i wonder why i would review anything as obviously my "pool" of art is not diverse enough. I will now have to go through my reviews and delete anything that has come from my white, middle class, anglo-euro centric, heavy rock leaning bias, as what i "like" is obviously toxic. . . I mean, where is the contentiousness in his statement? People are really working too hard to find offense these days.

"...I would never consider diversity in matters of art. Only quality. It seems to me that to do otherwise would be wrong."

I see that as of december 2020 Amazon has decided to remove the Comments feature of their Reviews. You can still rate and review product (positive or negative) but can't comment on reviews. Previous comments seem to have been deleted. I found this feature quite useful - eg to ask reviewers questions about their reviews, to open discussions with them or criticise them for stuff like "I bought this for a friend so i've never read it" 2 Stars or "The CD case was cracked" 1 star

Huck wrote: "I see that as of december 2020 Amazon has decided to remove the Comments feature of their Reviews. You can still rate and review product (positive or negative) but can't comment on reviews. Previou..."

Yes it was extremely useful, i had friends there i only knew through comments too :(

yeah, amazon clearly don't want anyone hanging around their shop having a blether!

Bruce Smith from USA, reviewing Nick Drake compilation "Way to Blue" - 2 Stars
"I guess you have to be in the right state of mind to listen to this CD. I kept wanting to fall asleep. Not Blues and not rock."
Makes you despair - no, not the songs of Nick Drake, the crassness of the comment. He's right, it's not blues or rock. When he buys a packet of crisps does he say it's rubbish because it's not a banana or a can of beer? Someday he'll be in an insomniac state and he'll really regret giving this CD away and only awarding it 2 stars

Amazon selling book - The World I Fell Out Of by Melanie Reid - good reviews. I noticed another edition with a different cover design and a single 1 star review - strange i thought, and reading the comments the reviewer complained they had paid good money for it and it was the exactly the same as the hardback she bought previously! DOH ! And then when i looked closer the title on the other edition is The World I Fell Into
by Melanie Reid. Why would publishers do that - to all intents and purposes it could have been a sequel to the paperback - very confusing.

Consider yourself lucky that you found that single review pertaining to that particular edition. Amazon have the annoying habit of grouping reviews (of books and DVDs) and applying them to every single edition/release. It's very hard when you're looking for a particular edition (I might want a particular illustrator of a book) or some DVD releases that have poor sound quality or extras in/excluded.

Huck wrote: "Amazon selling book - The World I Fell Out Of by Melanie Reid - good reviews. I noticed another edition with a different cover design and a single 1 star review - strange i thought, and reading the..."

On investigation, whilst 'out of' is published by Fourth Estate here in the UK, it seems 'into' is published by a company called Greystone Books, which is a Canadian publisher. It's rather shoddy that such facts are not displayed on the product page. Why the Canadian publisher decided to alter the title is a mystery.

Val wrote: "Consider yourself lucky that you found that single review pertaining to that particular edition. Amazon have the annoying habit of grouping reviews (of books and DVDs) and applying them to every si..."

Agreed. For DVDs/Blu-rays, I would recommend blu-ray.com where you can look up a vast array of titles on different formats released across the world (although most reviews are for U.S. issues as would be expected).

Val wrote: "Consider yourself lucky that you found that single review pertaining to that particular edition. Amazon have the annoying habit of grouping reviews (of books and DVDs) and applying them to every si..."

I think there is a lack of consistency. For CDs i don't mind when new
releases are listed and reviewed separately - case in point, remasters - i have the original Jethro Tull "Benefit" CD, then the early remaster with bonus tracks, and more recently the Steven Wilson remaster - each step has shown an improvement in the listening experience (IMO) and it's nice to see the reviews being specific to the edition. For books I'm not so sure unless your interested in binding quality, print size, illustrations. I guess DVD v Blu-Ray is similar, although i don't have blu-ray or any fancy video technology and most of the films i like probably aren't going to benefit greatly