Our Shared Shelf discussion

After reading Cinderella Liberator, I felt an urge to get started on a short story that I’d had in my head for quite sometime. It involves some feminist ideas, and I wasn’t sure if I should do it as my parents have made it quite clear to me that they are anti-feminists and believe that feminism is equivalent to man-hate. I’ve just completed my first draft and I’m not even sure yet if my story makes sense. However, I’m really worried that I would get into deep trouble with my parents for writing about ‘inappropriate’ stuff. Also, I would like to receive some feedback on my short story from other feminists and I would like to know if there’s a way for me to post it on Goodreads. Also, I’m feeling quite troubled as I’m not sure what others (adults especially) will make of my attempt at writing something that involves feminist content since I’m only 15 and I don’t know what my parents will do to me if they find out about it. Besides, I’m feeling quite alone and helpless as I do not know of any other feminists within my circle of friends and I have no idea what I’ll do if, say, my parents end up chasing me out of their house for it.

I have a few quick questions for you.

Why your parents believe that feminism is man-hate? How they build their opinion?

What is their opinion about equality?

I suppose one of the strategy could be to influence them. Show them examples or situations where feminism is not what they think it is.

Regarding the content, what if you write for yourself first? Writing is a beautiful thing and a door for Magic, dreams but also to voice and maybe to talk to ourselves (that is my opinion). Maybe you could keep it in a corner of your head, make it grow, and when you feel ready and independent let it bloom.

I cannot talk a lot about being chased or rejected I would be too afraid to give bad advice.

I'm not sure but I think the safe option is to keep it for you and to express in a safe place (maybe here), and to act in secret (sadly...), to prepare yourself, to train yourself for the day you will choose to stand up. At the end, I'm afraid it's up to you.

Difficult situation and I feel I have no real advice for you. I hope other members will have advice.

Just one thing, you may keep your Self secret, your thoughts secret but keep being loyal to your Self and never suppress it please. Your Self will always be your best ally!

I let other members advice since I feel not really helpful besides bringing support and kind words.

Just a last thing. Did you know that by writing such thread you are being inspiring for others? Maybe other people are in the same situation and the comment will be helpful for them as well 😉

@Florian
I have no idea, but the moment I started talking about it, my mother immediately scolded me for getting involved with ‘such stuff’ and told me that being a feminist would mean being against man. Thereafter, my father agreed with her and reiterated some of her points. Anyway, I’m not sure how my parents would react if they know that I’ve disobeyed them and I’ve even started writing about such matters.

Btw, I’ve tried to explain it to them but they won’t listen to me.

I'm sad to hear that. To be honest, I don't know what to say.
I mean, in that case you are right to disobey but you need to protect yourself as well.

Merve Derya wrote: "Hello Clara!

To add to the previous comment, I would suggest writing a lot of stories and explore yourself a bit. But there is no harm in sharing your texts with others under pseudo-name if you d..."

Hi Merve,
Thanks for your support. But how may I share my work to you?

The story that I'm writing is actually an adaptation of one of the chapters in Pride and Prejudice. Although I admire Jane Austen as a writer, I found it really unfair that she made it seem as though it was all Lydia's fault when she ran away with Mr. Wickham. What really infuriated me was how she was made to marry him so as to save her family's reputation.

Although Pride and Prejudice was written more than a century ago, I feel that women are still so often blamed for getting into trouble with men, even though it is usually the man who's at fault. So, in my retelling of that chapter of Pride and Prejudice, I've decided to tell Lydia's story too, and to show that it was really Mr. Wickham who was at fault.

In my story, Lydia doesn't end up marrying anyone, instead, she is able to support herself by earning her keeps. However, as I was afraid that it would end up being to long, I tried to shorten my ending, making it seem really unrealistic. I'll probably rewrite that anyway.

Merve Derya wrote: "Hi Clara!

You can either dm me or email me. :)
My email is mervederyayazicioglu@hotmail.com

For your story, it is such an inspiring route you are taking with your story. I am quite a fan of Jane ..."

Hi Merve,
I've emailed a copy of my short story to you. :) Thanks for your encouragement.

regarding your parents seeing feminism being equal to man hating...point them in the direction of some very well known celebrity males...it's not just about women
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/cont...

Well, analyse your situation one point deeper. Are your parents extreme misogynists who would never support your dreams? Or are they parents who love you but are against feminism because they are traditionalists who fail to go against the norms?

I believe you should go forward with this idea. The 15 year olds I know don’t even give a thought to feminism which in my opinion is the freedom for us to choose what we want rather than letting others impose the choices on us.

So, when you have already written the first draft, and you have grasped what feminism is( it’s a dynamic concept, even I think I might be missing some aspects)
- why not embrace feminism and publish it?

The reaction of your parents depends on what their core beliefs are, what kind of scenario they brought you up in, and how far are they willing to support you. Only you can answer this.

✅But I have a suggestion. There is this platform called wattpad, where you can publish your stories and garner a wide readership, without revealing your actual identity. If you are wary that they will find out about the book, then this is a prefect solution to the problem. They probably don’t even know Wattpad exists.

Here is the link- https://www.wattpad.com/login

And I am all praises for you. It’s high time that young girls align their thoughts like you did. I am fortunate that I have a supportive environment and I can follow my dreams without hesitation. But if you want any further help, don’t hesitate to contact me. I will be honoured to help you.

Sincerely
S. Dhiman

Heyy
I am extremely sorry to hear that your parents don't support the idea of feminism and discourage you to even talk about it. But if you are really inspired by the idea and do want to bring change about it, you sure can do so. You'll be disobeying your parents only when you are doing something wrong and harming someone else by going 'against man'. But your thoughts and ideas, according to me and many others, are not wrong and will not cause any harm to anyone, especially men considering that many of them are also feminists.

So, it is surely appropriate for you to feminist texts and it's even better that you share them. As Merve and Florian said, what's more important is for you to find yourself and believe in your thoughts more than anyone else. You'll find a lot of people in your life who will discourage you to do so, be it your intimates or any stranger but what's important for you is to never get lost from your track of thoughts and believes, especially when they stand for good of most of the people.

I suggest you to start a blog. It's not difficult and it's not necessary for you to put up your name. Make a site and share your ideas. Eventually many people will read those writings and will be inspired. I understand how intimidating it can be when people around you don't really support you. But it cannot be taken as something to be afraid of. Just find your courage and go with your guy feeling. It's not necessary for you to share your writings under your actual name as for now. After a few years from now, when you actually have something of substance which no one will be able to overlook, you'll be able to share your ideas with others being you.

So, just be confident and keep on writing. It's always better to do so and also, it's totally fine that you are just 15 and are writing feminists stuff. I too am just 17 but I still have composed and posted writings on topics which are considered to be 'inappropriate'. It can happen that some people criticize you but that's only nature. What you should remember is that there are also people who are encouraging you and are supporting you.

I don't really know if it's possible to post it on goodreads, but there are still a lot of ways through which you can post them. And I would be glad to give feedback on your short story because I personally feel that there are many misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding women that need to be cleared out. Being from a country where we see these things now and then, it has become extremely important to let the world be aware of the effects that their sayings and their injustice can have on people.

Clara wrote: "After reading Cinderella Liberator, I felt an urge to get started on a short story that I’d had in my head for quite sometime. It involves some feminist ideas, and I wasn’t sure if I should do it a..."

Hi Clara, I'm really sorry that you have to live in an environment like that. I'm 16 years of age so I suppose I'm biased but, I feel that it is important to hear young voices on topics like these. What you say does not have less worth because of your age. I'd be happy to read the draft you wrote ^-^.

I re-read your post @ClaraAtwood and I have something more to share with you. If your parents think feminism is male hate, I think it’s probably because the norms require women to submissively surrender to the patriarchy. But, hey there are rebels everywhere when it comes to such outdated and contemptuous traditions. You aren’t alone. And secondly, you said ‘you aren’t sure if your story makes sense’. That is for the readers to decide, you did your job well by completing the draft. Most of the writers, don’t even reach that stage. Congratulations on that.

And I have just the solution for you. The website I mentioned in my previous post
Anyone and Everyone can post stories. But how is it going to help you?

1. You will find fellow feminists and get their reviews. You won’t find yourself alone anymore. There is this in-line comment feature. Believe me, a lot of teenagers are active on the site sharing and reading stories. Some of them are actually good.

2. You don’t have to reveal your identity. Your parents might not know it exists. There is a 100 percent chance because such publishing sites weren’t established until a decade ago.

3. Who knows, some publisher might actually buy the rights to your amazing book? We all know books that deal with feminism are scarce.

There are other sites like Wattpad as well, it’s up to you to decide which platform you choose.

And please don’t be afraid of anything or anyone. At the end of the day, they are your parents. They won’t reprimand you for expressing your freedom of speech.

Just don’t loose faith in yourself. We can do anything we want. In the words of Katharine Hepburn-

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”

Think about it.

Lillith wrote: "Clara wrote: "After reading Cinderella Liberator, I felt an urge to get started on a short story that I’d had in my head for quite sometime. It involves some feminist ideas, and I wasn’t sure if I ..."

Hi, I've posted my work on Wattpad, under my account - ClaraAtwood. It is entitled Lydia and Mary - An adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, and I've added the hashtags #GenderEquality and #OurSharedShelf to it. So, if you're interested, you may check it out there, though I'm not sure if you'll be able to find it there as I'm feeling quite confused myself as I'm rather new to the page.

Hey Clara!
I'm 14 years old, and I relate to that. Fortunately my family believes in gender equality, so your family's situation isn't the same of mine, but I perfectly understand your doubts. Sometimes I ask to myself if it's normal be interested in world issues, gender equality, for my age. Probably we're not the mostly of young people, but we are not the only ones. OSS, especially, made me realise it. So I suggest you to don't give up, and continue to write what do you think, and even if parent's opinion is important, do the right thing is more. Thank you for sharing with us your concerns and doubts about it.