Let's Write One-of-a-kind Stories! discussion

To write beautifully crafted sentences is just as important as writing a beautifully crafted story, and also just as hard!
Here I can give you pointers on grammar and how to write powerful sentences, how to choose the best words to describe anything and everything 😉!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask anytime !

Okay! Here's something I've learnt from my own experience: If you want to write strong sentences, first thing you want to do is to read a ridiculous amount of books, and by that I mean piles and piles of books higher than the Tower of London.

Why? I'll show you!
Please construct a sentence out the following words: flying, cake, birds, a, banana, the, was, were, in, but, over, and, house.
You can remove and repeat some words, but you can only use these. Go on!!

There are many possible outcomes: mine is "The birds were flying over the house in a banana cake," which is silly and fantastical.
Tell me yours!

Leah wrote: "The birds were in the house, but the cake and banana were flying over.


*What on Earth did I just type?*"

Ahhhh! I nearly DIED laughing! Oh dear! How on earth did you come up with that!! 😂😂😂

Haha xD!
Anyway, back to my point.
As you can see, funny though it is, you can't do a lot with this limited vocabulary of words. You can construct some silly sentences, but you can't write, say, a sentence describing the beauty of the African Savanna at twilight.
Sooooo, limited vocabulary means limited choice of words, and, in extension, your ability to write in a unique voice.
If I give you a whole page of words to use, you can undoubtedly write better compositions; if I give you a whole dictionary, a whole shelf, or a whole library of words, why, the possibilities would be endless!!
The more words you have, the better the choices you get to make.

Leah wrote: "Wow, you're so wise Amanda!!! :)"

Aww, Thank you Leah 💖!!

Hi writers!! Today I'm back with more writing tips.
Previously I mentioned how words are an essential tool to your writing voice - now I'm going to tell you how best to use your arsenal of words to craft beautiful and moving sentences 😉.

Imagine this: A person named Libby (just a random name on the top of my mind) is escaping a haunted castle in the dead of night. she is running for dear life, and have just reached the door.
Now I will describe their frantic dash to freedom.
Here is what an inexperienced (or simply lousy) writer might come up with:

Libby ran quickly down the hall. She felt terrified as she heard the terrifying sound of the ghost's footsteps behind her. "I've got to get out of here!" she thought to herself. She quickly opened the door and ran out into the moonlit courtyard as fast as she could.

Okay, that was a bit exaggerated, but believe me, I've seen worse. But what makes that example so lousy??
One: Repetition. It used the same words, quick, terrifying, etc, too many times. Don't do that!!
Two: Lack of strength. The words are empty, you can't feel the action or the speed. Libby is running for her life, for heaven's sake!
Here's a revised version:

Libby bolted down the hall, terror rising within her as the sound of the ghost's footsteps drew ever closer. "I've got to get out. Fast," she told herself. She wrenched open the door and ran pell-mell out into the moonlit courtyard.

Better? A bit, but not really. I wouldn't publish something like it, though some might think it's good. What's wrong with it??
Have you ever heard the saying "Show, don't tell?" It is rather confusing, because it's a difficult technique to grasp, and not a lot of people could explain it properly.
The above two examples both use tell, hence (to me) they sound dreadfully dull.
Before we tackle it, let's see a rewriting of Libby's escape using showing, not telling:

Libby's heart hammered in her chest fit to burst as she bolted down the hall, the creaking of the ghost's footsteps echoing in her ears. The door bloomed suddenly out of the darkness and she nearly ran straight into it. She fumbled for the doorknob, the sound of phantom feet drawing ever closer, every flutter of the torn curtains; every breath of wind blowing through the broken windows felt like ghostly hands reaching towards her. "Come on!" she pleaded, wrenching at the door, but it was locked. She groped for the bolt, terror rising like bile in her throat. At last, she found it, and as the glowing figure of a woman floated down the hall, illuminating the rough stone walls with her eerie glow, her dead hands outstretched, Libby ripped open the door and ran pell-mell out into the night, the specter's shrieks ringing in her ears.

So there! Which do you prefer? I'm sure you can all come up with better examples.
"Show, don't tell" is actually pretty straightforwards, but doing it is veeeery difficult.
For example, in the first version of Libby's escape, I said "she felt terrified". That is downright telling. I told you about her fear.
In the last version, I said "Libby's heart hammered fit to burst", which is showing you her fear by describing her reaction.

Also, you will find that I added that part where she found the door was locked and the part where the ghost appeared in the last rewriting. That adds tension and describes Libby's desperation, and does not effect the story overall. You can remove it and it won't spoil the story, but it is a nice extra bit of description that shows the action and tension.

Leah wrote: "The birds were in the house, but the cake and banana were flying over.


*What on Earth did I just type?*"

:) :)

Amanda wrote: "There are many possible outcomes: mine is "The birds were flying over the house in a banana cake," which is silly and fantastical.
Tell me yours!"

The flying cake was in a house, above the flying birds.

Why is there a floating house above the birds!?!?!?

Amanda wrote: "Also, you will find that I added that part where she found the door was locked and the part where the ghost appeared in the last rewriting. That adds tension and describes Libby's desperation, and ..."

Wow, you explained that very well. :) :)

Thanks 😊 ! I spent a lot of time thinking about how to improve my skills, because I am often stuck😉!

:) You did a great job.

Aww, thank you ❤️!!

:)