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Arianna, Aspiring Author/Mod/human-ish/she/her
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Apr 16, 2021 05:01AM
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/14...hello! I'm writing a novel right now, and I've been typing some of it into a Google doc. this is a first draft- very rough, and I know there are lots of things to be changed. feel free to comment about what you like, what you think should be changed and what you think should be added! thank you so much if you do :3
https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/...Please tell me what you think. I love getting suggestions. Also, if anyone sees errors, please point them out!!! Thanks!
Mod
Olivia wrote: "Do you have this on a google doc? Sorry if your not comfortable with sharing like that, but I prefer editing on a doc because I can comment on specific parts and do some general grammar fixing. But..."Was this to me? Where you talking to me?
Anyway, I do. And I just realised that I put this in the wrong section. But here's the link for a Google Doc:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-...
I hope this works!
(This link may or may not bring you to a docs sharing page. If it does, just press the arrow pointing to the left.) :)
Mod
Yep, it works for me!
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Here is my story that I have, It's also published in the Telling Room.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14...hey! I've added some more to my novel, you don't have to read it or give feedback or anything if you can't be bothered, but if you want to feel free!
☆ Kelsie ~ in libras, libertas ☆ wrote: "https://docs.google.com/document/d/14...hey! I've added some more to my novel, you don't have to read it or give feedback or anything if ..."
Cool! I'll check it out later!
Mod
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W...
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This is also my published story on the Telling Room (it's also posted on my profile)
Here are two of my stories, tell me what you think :)https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/...
https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/...
so on wattpad there is this huge contest called the watty's and i really want to join it this year, but to even be noticed by the judges you have to have a lot of reads and votes, so if you have a wattpad account it would be awesome if you could read some of it and maybe even vote! and if you just want to read it and then give me some feedback, that would be great aswell! here is the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/2680668...
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Mod
Okay, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to read because your story is long, but I'll do my best.
First chapter: Very good descriptions, I like the style.
In the first paragraph, you use short sentences to hook the reader, and they are powerful and interesting. That being said, I think four sentences is enough to keep that rhythm, then it becomes tiring to read. Find another way to organize the second half of that first paragraph, and it will make it stronger.
I've heard that at the beginning of books, it is rule number one to never start in the past. It makes sense, in a way, doesn't it? The reader doesn't care what happened two years ago, even if it's important to the plot. You need to give the reader a reason to like your character before telling the backstory. To an author, the backstory is one of the most important tools to use. By explaining the backstory on page one, the reader doesn't really care and loses interest in the story. But if you slowly dish out info gradually and strategically, then the reader will be begging for more. Sometimes authors can pull off starting the story in the past, but often it is better to hook the reader in fast and make them stay there. It's your choice, but if I were you, I would hold off telling the reader all that stuff. Instead, describe the surroundings. What is he/she feeling? Physically and mentally?
Other than that, I think it's a really powerful first chapter and I really like it.
Hi! I was very excited to find this group! I am looking forward to providing and receiving feedback on WIPs.I have a YA Viking-esque triology that I am trying to write. Here are the first chapters of book 1 - The Masked Queen.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z...
I also have a dystopian novella that I am considering expanding and turning into a story told through 5 novellas - 5 perspectives - a story of fractured time kind of thing. I'm just not sure if anyone would be interested enough to get through this first "intro" novella.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L...
Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!
The first doc's link is incorrect or inactive. The bottom one works, but the first one keeps telling me that the URL and file doesn't exist.
Melody wrote: "That's so weird.They should work now."
They do work. Thanks! =D I'm excited to read your works!
Melody wrote: "Hi! I was very excited to find this group! I am looking forward to providing and receiving feedback on WIPs.I have a YA Viking-esque triology that I am trying to write. Here are the first chapter..."
Hi Melody,
I read your story Time Tower, and I really enjoyed some of the themes that you were working with. I hope it's ok if I take a few more days to read it again and organise some of my feedback on my reading experience. I'll post them here when I'm done, hopefully before the end of next week.
Melody wrote: "Hi! I was very excited to find this group! I am looking forward to providing and receiving feedback on WIPs.I have a YA Viking-esque triology that I am trying to write. Here are the first chapter..."
Hi Melody, thanks again for sharing The Time Tower.
Overall I enjoyed reading it; I felt it had a strong premise and exploration of how we focus on past/future, as well as multigenerational struggle against our own mistakes, which are quite universal.
I have some notes, most of which are focused on the first part of the manuscript, as I found the second half to be stronger overall. Usually, I organise my feedback into categories and summarize some of my essential points into questions which I feel asking would make the story stronger.
Characters and Story Stakes;
There was a large cast of characters, but several of them (Pima. Akish and Neeman) felt underdeveloped. This had a lot to do with the stakes; the characters external struggles were clearly defined but I didn’t I felt the characters internal struggles (i.e. their motivations and aversions to attacking the tower). Questions I would ask are;
Attacking the tower is dangerous, so who are the characters leaving behind? Why is attacking the tower worth the risk? What is the trigger that is forcing them to attack the tower, specifically?
What are their hopes, dreams or ambitions if they fix or destroy the tower? What are they hoping the world will look like after they succeed and why?
In the second half of the manuscript, Prim’s family’s internal and external struggles are clearly defined (her mother and father’s internal duty to their family is balanced against the external risk of untested technology) and this gave them a lot of depth, investing me in their decisions and making feel they existed outside the events in the novella.
Plot and Structure;
Overall I liked the use of time dilation in your writing, particularly how we read the essential elements of the story in reverse, gradually revealing the context of The Time Tower through the narrative. This was especially effective as it linked directly back to one of your main thematic elements; how we relate to the past and future.
It’s usually good advice to put the protagonist straight into trouble but, in this context, I felt the opening may have been mistimed; the character is immediately in an unrecognisable location, surrounded by questionable entities and the time dilation occurred almost immediately. I found it very disorientating, especially on my first reading, which then made it hard to tell who was the protagonist, who was really in the present, and when time dilation was occurring.
Could the story have started at an earlier point, when the time was more stable? How much time does the reader need to become grounded in the story and have enough time to understand the setting before beginning to use time dilation, so that it is most effective?
Later the disorientating effect of time dilation was used to great effect, especially as you dealt with the multigenerational aspects of the story and the implacable nature of time.
Again, overall I enjoyed reading Time Tower, and these notes are mainly focused on the first half. I think there is a lot more to explore in those themes if they can be grounded in engaging characters. Please let me know if you would like to discuss more, or if there were was anything unclear.
Hi guys this my new friend Cloes workon a Bueaty and the Beast retelling, and wondering if you wanted to take a look.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O...
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O...
Gwen wrote: "Hi guys this my new friend Cloes workon a Bueaty and the Beast retelling, and wondering if you wanted to take a look. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O......"
The link doesn't fully work. I have to ask for access. Do you know how to share a Google Docs link so anyone can see it? If not, I can walk you through it.
I don't sorry could you talk me through it
Gwen wrote: "I don't sorry could you talk me through it"Yeah, so what you're going to do is click your document. Then, hit the file tab on the left. Click the share option, which should be the very first option. You should get a pop-up that says share with people and groups. There will be two options to share. You want to use the option on the bottom that talks about the link. Chances are its settings are on restricted (meaning no one but you can access it), so click the button at the bottom that says "change to anyone with the link." After that, you can click copy link on the right, then paste it here. That should be every single step. I hope this works for you :)
I recently fixed up my story that I am working on. Tell me what you think!!https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K...
And tell me if the link doesn't work
I love it can't wait to read more!!!!
Thanks is there anything I could work on?
I would pace the the story a little slower but other than that it was perfect
