Support for Indie Authors discussion
Blurb Workshop
>
Blurb Help- YA Fantasy- Strange Magic
date
newest »
newest »
Mod
Having no idea who Khumbila is, or what the crystals are, or who the Overlord is, I'm not getting invested here. You're telling half a story assuming the reader knows the other half already.
Same reaction to the third paragraph. I don't know Hiro and don't know why or who is rebelling. Jensen has no morals yet he can't abandon these people. That doesn't jive.
How are old friendships forged? Pull what off? Yeah I get that the Overlord is a bad guy but I don't really follow what he's doing or why Jensen is involved.
Sounds like a fun story. For the blurb, you could stop after the second paragraph and still give the gist of what’s inside. Good luck with the project.
I like the blurb. The word 'just' came up too many times, but otherwise it sounds fun and lively.
Book 2 (the one I need feedback on):
Jensen Edward Stringfellow never considered himself a moral citizen but he supposed going on a quest to save the multiverse from an evil supervillain had to give him some brownie points.
Even with their friendly local god Khumbila’s help, Jensen and his friends still have two more crystals to retrieve, if they want to stand a chance against the Overlord’s godlike abilities.
When they travel to Hiro’s home world, where it all began, they don’t expect to land right in the middle of a rebellion. Jensen can’t bring himself to just abandon the people. After all, if they can’t win against a city, what chance do they have against a near god?
With the Overlord just around the corner, new and old friendships are forged. Jensen just hopes they can pull this off.
Featuring a diverse cast, an aroace protagonist, bisexual and gay characters. This coming-of-age urban fantasy is perfect for readers who love a contemporary setting, hurt/comfort tropes, and found family.
Book 1 (idk if you need this one but here’s some background lol)
Parallel worlds, superpowers, and megalomaniacs.
Jensen Edward Stringfellow’s definition of normal consisted of having ice powers and being the adopted son of superpowered thieves. But during his first heist, things quickly become NOT NORMAL.
Not only does Jensen find himself in an alternate universe but he’s also the target of the Overlord, a man who wants to conquer the multiverse and can only do so by killing all versions of Jensen. And out of the 215 worlds in the multiverse, only two Jensens remain.
Along for the ride with a ragtag team of rebels, he travels across the world in search of a magic crystal said to have the power to defeat the Overlord, but might not even exist.
Failure isn’t an option, the multiverse is at stake.
Featuring a diverse cast, including an asexual character, found family and no romance for the main character. This coming-of-age urban fantasy is perfect for readers who love a contemporary setting, non-Western folklore, and a fun friendship read.
***
Thanks again for the help!