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If You Tell
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GENERAL: If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen - December 2023
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I’ll try to get on my computer later and throw some thoughts/questions out there, so that hopefully it formats correctly. (I’m still tryin to figure all of Goodreads out) but I’m super excited for this reread and I hope y’all enjoy this book!
Happy readin, folks. And Happy Holidays!


I can handle a lot of tough topics, violence, gore, whether because of my own childhood abuse and past traumas or despite them. But the part where it explains how she killed her friend/how she died slowly and painfully, made me have to put the book down for a few days and take a short break from it. I read this a year ago and I still find it disturbing, but I think it’s important these girls’ stories were told, especially since Shelly is going to be let out of prison in the VERY near future… which made me even more angry at the whole thing.
To me it is maddening that multiple people sensed that abuse was going on by this woman but nobody stepped up or did anything about it. I often also wonder why the older two sisters kept telling the youngest not to say anything and to just “hang in there for a few more years” like ahh what! But I am not judging anyone as I of course have not been in their shoes.

I know this book is going to be disturbing and I know it will upset me. But I do think it's important these sister's story is out there.
I have lived in the Seattle area for many years and have passed through Raymond and Vancouver, WA many times without knowing this horrific events that took place there. Bone chilling.

Also, I am curious, because her husband took such a heavy amount of the blame, how does everyone feel about that? Because I 100% believe he played a part. But I don't know if he was per se more guilty than Shelly. But he was forgiven by the girls. I don't think that I could have ever forgiven either of them. But it also makes me wonder, what happened to Shelly that she could do this? Does this come back down to nature vs nurture? And if so, does that inherently mean that the girls are destined to do such insane acts now that they're adults?

It's truly scary to know she was able to do what she did and still have the opportunity to be in the free world.
I also agree, Dave is 100% just as much to blame as Shelly. However, I also believe he would not have done anything as horrendous and abusive as he did if he weren't married to Shelly. That's the only reason I can think of why the girls forgave him. They viewed him more as "a broken man" than their abuser.
That's an interesting question on nature vs nurture. Lara and Les treated Shelly like a princess and she turned out to be (or always was) a monster; where as Shelly and Dave went well beyond abuse with their girls and they turned out to be strong and independent. I know Shelly's grandma seemed pretty unhinged, but I'm curious how other family members in that branch are?





Sage wrote: "So I have dug and I have tried to find information on Shelly. because she was released in 2022; I found very little, mostly only old information. What do y'all think she's up to now? I don't imagin..."
It's disgusting that they're both out of prison. I don't think these two can be rehabilitated one bit.
To me the way the book reads is that Shelly was sort of the ring leader and what's his name was along for the ride and participated. I don't think he was the mastermind in any way shape or form.
As far as forgiveness I think sometimes we have to forgive horrible things to be able to get on with our own lives. To me, forgiving someone is more for me than the "bad" guy.
I do think a lot of factors enter into a person being just a terrible person (like Shelley was and probably is) but most of us can make a choice to act differently. I know people have mental issues (I'm a nurse in a psychiatric facility) that some people hear voices and sometimes really don't realize that horror of how they act but I didn't get that feeling about Shelley.
I also agree that the story is well written.
It's disgusting that they're both out of prison. I don't think these two can be rehabilitated one bit.
To me the way the book reads is that Shelly was sort of the ring leader and what's his name was along for the ride and participated. I don't think he was the mastermind in any way shape or form.
As far as forgiveness I think sometimes we have to forgive horrible things to be able to get on with our own lives. To me, forgiving someone is more for me than the "bad" guy.
I do think a lot of factors enter into a person being just a terrible person (like Shelley was and probably is) but most of us can make a choice to act differently. I know people have mental issues (I'm a nurse in a psychiatric facility) that some people hear voices and sometimes really don't realize that horror of how they act but I didn't get that feeling about Shelley.
I also agree that the story is well written.


I then went down a rabbit hole of Utube, articles, and other articles about this poor family. I prefer my fiction which is not a real story.


Welcome to our discussion about If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen, your discussion leader is Sage.
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Summary
After more than a decade, when sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek hear the word mom, it claws like an eagle’s talons, triggering memories that have been their secret since childhood. Until now.
For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined. Even as others were drawn into their mother’s dark and perverse web, the sisters found the strength and courage to escape an escalating nightmare that culminated in multiple murders.