Read Women discussion

Our May nonfiction group read is, My Side of the River by Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez.

My Side of the River

My Side of the River is a compelling memoir of survival that expands on Gutierrez' Feb 2020 TED talk, available here: https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_c...

Themes: generational trauma, separation, the plight of first and second generation immigrants, wealth disparity

It's a NY Times Editor's Best Pick, People Magazine Best Book to Read in February, and a GoodReads Most Anticipated Book of 2024. Here's a 16-minute audio book preview if you want a taste before committing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSdao...

Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez

Gutierrez is a corporate and investment banking analyst at Wells Fargo. Her parents came to the US when she was 4 and, when she was 15, they were forced to return to Mexico and left her in Tucson (Arizona) with responsibility for her younger brother. She graduated from high school at the top of her class and, in 2018, graduated from Penn with a degree in philosophy, politics, and economics. Access her website here: https://www.elizabethcamarillo.com/

Reviews

NY Times https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/09/bo...

Rose will lead our discussion. Who's planning to participate?

I plan to participate.

I started the audiobook!

I have finished it! I don't think I can say anything about it without spilling a spoiler so I'll wait. I will say, however, that I did give it a 4.

Wondering if anyone else was planning to join here cuz I'm very interested in hearing thoughts on it.
I really liked the sound of this one- obviously, as I did vote for it- but I had a hard time with it. I'm kinda hoping for POVs that might help me see it in a better light.

Guys, so sorry to be AWOL! I've been consumed with college visits/college selections for my senior, and we're in escrow on a house purchase, and between those and the rest of life, I haven't checked in here in a minute, so just now realized that my nominations were selected so I'd better get in here and discuss them!

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Jen, I know what you mean. I nominated this book because it sounded interesting and I had just gotten ahold of the audio book. I did struggle with it a bit as well, so am looking forward to discussing when folks are a bit further on.

Maybe I'll start with a general question: how old do you have to be to write a memoir? I'm mostly joking, and maybe my cranky middle aged slip is showing, but it seems like mid twenties may be too young. We can talk about the specific merits of this memoir as well, but I wonder if there is a level of maturity, of distance, that one needs in order to be able to put their life events into perspective and to draw connections to larger issues. Does anyone agree? Disagree?

I'll share some specific thoughts on this one a bit later.

So I'm looking back at a list of memoirs I've read in the past few years written by young people that, IMHO, had more depth and made more connections to larger issues than this one did. For example:

Heart Berries
Dog Flowers: A Memoir
Red Paint: The Ancestral Autobiography of a Coast Salish Punk
A Mind Spread Out on the Ground
Thinning Blood: A Memoir of Family, Myth, and Identity

So . . . perhaps age is not the issue?

Rose wrote: "...how old do you have to be to write a memoir?..."

I don't think that one age is any more appropriate for writing a memoir than any other. It's all in the perception of the story. This is her story for [relatively] right now - this is her perception of her story for now. We all know how life throws the curve balls and what you feel about those experience in your childhood, teens, and 20's will unlikely be the same as how you feel about them in your 40's, 50's, 70's. As our age progresses so do the occurances of even more curve balls added to the early ones experienced, as well as an increased level of maturity.

I made the mistake of reading some of the reviews before I read the book and it ruined the beginning for me because I kept finding fault with the simpler language and the somewhat selfishly centered feelings portrayed in the story. But once I stepped back and told myself "she's young, she's talking about herself at those individual points in time. Why would she sound like a 30 or 40 year old? She hadn't experienced that yet." I don't believe the author's intent was to tie her story into the big picture or offer resolutions for what she was going through. I believe her sole intent was to simply tell her story.

Thanks, guys. You're both pointing exactly to the issues that come up for me with the book and also the reviews and it's helping me make more sense of my reactions to them.
I listened to about one-third before quitting it... Before deciding for sure to quit, I tried out the attitude that you describe, Gail- taking it as it is and seeing if I could still appreciate the story. Ultimately, I decided it's just not enjoyable for me, and even kinda irritating, so why push myself to get through it?... I won't say she's too young, but she doesn't make for a good writer. Her voice and story are probably resonating with plenty folks out there and that's good...
Rose, I love your bringing the jab back to us being cranky older ladies. I think this speaks to Gail's points. Yes, reviewers say she is too young to write a memoir, could have waited, gained some perspective... I get that- it's an easy conclusion that my brain makes too. But I don't really want to go there or leave it at that, cuz it feels inaccurate, or even just kinda as shallow and dismissive as folks complain the author seems... the irony! ... I mean, what is age anyway... An equally lacking memoir could be written at any age, and as Rose points out, decent memoirs can be written at a young age. Thanks for sharing those, BTW :)
I only got through a third, but I concluded I'd probably appreciate her story if she was, say, being interviewed on the radio, but as a book, I'd rather spend my time elsewhere.

Jen wrote: "... and it's helping me make more sense of my reactions to them. I listened to about one-..."

I wondered how the book would be handled as an audio. There were too many instances in the book where I registered that in audio would have come across as too whiney. I think I was able to handle this more because I could make the voice be the voice in my head, moderated by what I wanted to get out of the story. Sometimes that's a good thing for me and sometimes it makes the story too different to what the author intended. I will say I am glad I read it but I can understand where under different circumstances, different "moods" I would have been super annoyed.

Gail W wrote: "Jen wrote: "... and it's helping me make more sense of my reactions to them. I listened to about one-..."

I wondered how the book would be handled as an audio. There were too many instances in the..."

Gotta say, I caught some moments when questionable remarks were emphasized for the worse with her tone of voice, yea...

I also listened to the audio version and the tone was sometimes off-putting. At times it came off as self-congratulatory to a fault, I thought.

I didn't think this was a bad book, and I thought it brought an important and very personal focus to the plight of families that are separated, for whatever reason. But right after I listened to this I listened to Everyone Who Is Gone Is Here: The United States, Central America, and the Making of a Crisis. And this book was so powerful, so impactful, so moving. Not a memoir, but it included many personal stories, so intimate and gut-wrenching. If you are going to invest time in a book on the topic of immigration, this is the way to go, I think.

So I'm left with feeling that this was a not so compelling memoir of a person who still has a lot of growing up to do. Which, if you like reading people's life stories, is just fine. Not bad. But usually I'm looking for something a bit deeper from the nonfiction I listen to, and this one missed that mark for me.

Yea, I'm for sure interested in the topic and idea of a personal storytelling. That Blitzer book sounds like a good one. Another on my TBR that seems better received/rated is The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio. This one has been very tempting to me for the group quarterly theme we have now.

I guess another personal issue of mine is that I'm such a slow reader and also listener! I listen to audiobooks slightly slowed down- usually at 90%- does anyone else do this?? And I have to rewind alot, unless I lose interest, then I rewind less and consider it the audio version of skimming a book... Anyway, so for me to get through the book I think takes more that it takes other people... That contributes to my DNF decisions of course...

The Undocumented Americans is another great example of a more effective approach to this topic - 5 star book for me.

Rose wrote: "The Undocumented Americans is another great example of a more effective approach to this topic - 5 star book for me."

I read in '22 and it was definitely a 5 star.