GoodWrites discussion

Hiya Loves <3

Here is the week seven writing prompt! Reply when you can!
"It took a few seconds to realize I was utterly and completely lost."

MIAcat <3

I really like how all six of us are just waiting for the other five to write a short story

it took a few seconds to realize that I was completely and utterly lost. people moved all around me, arms and hips brushing up against my body, causing some form of paralyzing fear.
"where is mom?" I mutter to myself, voice quickly losing itself in the sea of people. losing its sound in the echos of shoes, voices and carnival rides. I whip my head around and try to see if I can find her without loosing myself in this stupid crowd.
lights, screaming, kids playing darts, cotton candy, the smell of hot dogs in the air. but no mom.
"mom!" I scream at the top of my lungs, but I can tell that my small voice doesn't carry far, it quickly drowns in the sea. where would mom go? where would mom go? I feel my breath entering and leaving me quickly, as if I have no real control over my own lungs.
"mom!" I wail, its the wail of a small thirteen year old boy who looks like he's five, a child so desperately looking for his mother.
I start running, and I keep running, as fast as my legs would take me, tears in my eyes from the wind. I see a person in front of me but I can't stop in time, I close my eyes and brace for impact.
I hear things falling to the ground and the sound of an old man grunting. of course I run into some poor slow old man.
"whoa, watch where you're going lad." he said in an old British accent, "I'm not quite as stable as I used to be."
"sorry, sir." I said as I picked up the things he dropped, or I caused him to drop... I was able to take a good look at the old mans face, quite kind looking, friendly, considering that I almost knocked him over.
"its alright boy..." it looked like he was taking a good look at me now, "say, where are your parents?"
"no idea."
"are you lost?"
"apparently." I said as I handing him the last item, he gave me a look of concern, possibly confusion. I get that a lot.
"I'm thirteen." I said.
"billy!" I would have never thought that I'd be relieved to hear my mom screaming at me. I turned my head around to see that she was near one of the food stands with my two brothers.
"sorry sir, I gotta go. mom calling." I pointed to them and then turned around and ran. I took one last look at the old guy, he smiled at me, I didn't really know what to say so I just waved.


alright, wrote this on the spot and I'm not going to edit or overthink it, I'm just gonna post this crap and let you guys judge me.

That’s really good

Yeah lol, it seems like it 🤣

aw, thanks!

we're writers, we fantasize about being bestsellers and published but in reality we don't want to show anyone anything

Of course!😍

Wow! Thats is so good! Loved reading it!

Here's mine, I wrote this really quickly in one of my classes so it's not my best work <3

It took me a few seconds to realise I was completely and utterly lost. I should have thought this through, instead I just ran. And now there is no turning back. Somewhere in the distance, a wolf howls, and my skin prickles, the hairs on my neck standing like soldiers awaiting orders. I feel the creeping sense that something... or someone is watching me, and I spin a 360, as the trees seemed to lean over me, watching my every move, bow raised, arrow at the ready. But I don't see anything in the ghostly shadows, just the moon peaking through the tree tops and the bats hanging upside down from the branches like leaves.

Five days ago, I was not this alone. Five days ago... there were five of us. And in five days, five will have probably become zero. Who am I kidding? I won't last more than one day alone. Not without Alice's sense of direction, or Kyle's foraging abilities. Not without Claire building me a hammock or Sam starting the fires in the evening.

One by one they disappeared, I don't know where they went, there one second and gone the next.

First was Alice, young and naive, complaining as she dragged her backpack behind her on the walk from our old campsite to the other. She muttered something about how she'd rather stay at the old clearing and risk him finding us than walk miles every three days, Sam yelled at her for giving her a headache and walked ahead, Alice burst into tears, her wails loud and piercing, I clapped my hand over her mouth and told her to "Shut it before we get caught!". She sniffed and followed, dragging her bag through the snow. I had walked back to the front, leading them through the trees, following the top of a mountain. It wasn't for a few minutes before I realised she wasn't crying anymore, I turned around to talk to them, and she wasn't there. Bag left in the sand a few meters back, no tiny footprints in the snow, nothing, as though she wasn't there in the first place. And just like that, there was four of us.

Second was Kyle. The second oldest, other than me. We were sitting around one of Sam's fires, holding hands and singing before he went to the bushes nearby to find some berries and fruit, like he always did, and when I say the bush ate him... it literally did. The leaves and vines wrapped around him and pulled him into the bush, leaving one of his shoes and a few scattered leaves on the ground. And just like that, there were only three of us left.

Next was Claire. She was holding hands with Sam and skipping down the dirt road, yellow leaves lining the path, when a wind twister came out of nowhere, spun around her and Sam before clearly choosing Claire, picking her up and spinning her away, her cries fading into wind rustling through the trees. And just like that, there was only two of us left.

Yesterday, Sam left too. She decided to climb up the mountain, to get a better view of where to head next. Next thing I know she slipped and fell into a cave, and by some freak of nature a rock falls right in front of the cave. And just like that... I was alone.

Something crashes behind me. I spin around and a giant shadow stands before me, my mouth falls open but no sound comes out. The shadow lifts a huge black hand, swings it down toward me and............

Let me know what you think and if I can improve on anything. This is just a rough idea for a story I wrote in class. <3

I like this story idea, there's definitely some sketchy things happening here and its quite intriguing!

one weird complaint... with Alice they were walking on sand, and then there's trees, (which I know can happen) and then snow? is there sand on mountains?
I live in Florida and haven't been on too many mountains so I'm just a bit confused there.. but overall nice job! definitely would like to know what's going on here and who they're running from

Daisy wrote: "I like this story idea, there's definitely some sketchy things happening here and its quite intriguing!

one weird complaint... with Alice they were walking on sand, and then there's trees, (which..."

ohhh, Australia...
I'm an idiot XD

MIAcat wrote: "Here's mine, I wrote this really quickly in one of my classes so it's not my best work <3

It took me a few seconds to realise I was completely and utterly lost. I should have thought this through,..."

Oh, yeah, I didn't even realise that, I was writing when my teacher wasn't around so I lost track of some things I had said before. Thanks for that! I've edited it now Xx