Q&A with Donald Van de Mark discussion

"Father of positive psychology" Abraham Maslow determined that there are 19 traits that all self-actualized people share. I explore these traits in depth in my book.

My question to you is: which of the 19 traits do you feel is the single biggest contributor to happiness and success?

Here is the full list of traits: Autonomous, Loving, Ethical, Unaffected, Private, Detached, Experiential, Realistic, Laid Back, Performance and Process-Oriented, Egalitarian, Jolly, Empathic, Dutiful, Appreciative, Creative, Exuberant, Joyous, Transcendent.

You can learn more about these traits, with brief examples of each, here: http://www.donaldvandemark.com/trait-....

What do you think? Which one is the most important one to have, and the best predictor of success and happiness?

It's hard to pick one. I'm a big fan of Experiential--trying new things, leaping occasionally before looking, though I'm not always as good at this as I'd like to be.

The big one -- the trait that makes the biggest difference when it comes to earth bound success -- meaning money, power and fame is trait #8 in the book, being profoundly realistic.
You make better choices when you see what's truly going on. Then the you must ACT on that knowledge. Understand that wisdom is not just knowing what the right choice is. It's ACTING on it.
In the book there are a series of tips on how to be more realistic from great and good leaders such as Andy Grove of Intel, Steve Case of America Online and Bill Bradley.
Cheers!
Donald

I'll be sure to study that one at length!

None. Or any.

It seems to me that the most important one is not in the list. This is to know who you are. I am convinced that self-knowledge is the foundation, indeed the pre-requisite, for happiness.

It is not a guarantee, though. If we know who we are, or better, as we are finding out who we are, we still need to develop the courage of conviction to act on what we found. I entirely agree with Donald on this point.

Without self-knowledge, I would, for example, not be able to pick the trait out of the list that appears most important to me. The reason is that there is no one key trait that fits all - but there is one (or more than one) for each of us. For Kristen, it may have been "experimental", for Donald, it clearly was "realistic", and for Melissa it perhaps is "empathic".