Terminalcoffee discussion
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Maybe I'm oversharing, but...
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Why this time? What made this time different from all the other times?
I suppose there's no way to know, unless he left a note explaining it. A very sad situation.
I suppose there's no way to know, unless he left a note explaining it. A very sad situation.


I also think, after spending so much time with his family, that they understood him a lot better than he thought they did, and that's sad. All together, it's very odd to be in a room with so many people who knew him in such different ways, but know so many of the same things you do about him.
He didn't leave a note, not what one expects from such a verbal person, but he spent so much time in life trying to explain himself, I guess he thought he'd said it all. One factor may have been that he started seeing a new doctor who changed his meds all around. All the health care people I know are raising eyebrows over that one, especially since the doc tripled his dose of Xanax and put him on Prozac, which apparently bipolar people aren't supposed to take (he was at one time diagnosed bipolar, but I don't know if that stuck)
Anyway, thanks again. You've been really kind.

I had to report abuse of a client today to DCF,
I may have helped said client on long run, maybe not.
I feel like a traitor today. This is my chosen career.
Thanks...


I had to report abuse of a client today to DCF,
I may have helped said client on long run, maybe not.
I feel like a traitor today. This is my chosen career.
Thanks...
You obviously needed to make that judgment call Suefly. You wouldn't be human if you weren't upset about the need to make the decision. But as Barb said, you shouldn't feel guilt about it.
I don't know what DCF is either.
I don't know what DCF is either.
Ahhhhh. No wonder you are upset. Families are such difficult things do deal with. Are you involved in social work side of things?
My friend has had numerous physical and mental problems since his teenage years. He's tried many times to kill himself, but always in a way that he'd be caught in time - leaving a note on his roommate's door or leaving a phone message. In the last decade or so he'd gotten a lot better about knowing when he was getting to be that bad, nd he'd go check himself into the hospital. I don't think he'd had one of these episodes for many years, not because he wasn't depressed anymore but because he'd learned to manage it pretty well. But this time he didn't want to be rescued.
I don't think it's a service to him to pretend he was perfect. He could hold a grudge like nobody I'd ever seen. I confess I really avoided being alone with him very often because his talk would usually at some point turn into a list of slights and perceived slights done to him by our other friends,and I'm sure they got an earful of the same about me. But at the same time, there were times when we were really really close. We were friends from college, and we became adults together. I learned so much from him aobut so many different things. We were like brother and sister, really, with the long history of pleasures and pains that entails.
He was so brave about his problems. Aside from depression he had things like chronic fatigue syndrome, Ehrler's-Danloss syndromem, Obsessive-compulsive... and other things. He was physically unable to do things, and that would feed into his depression. He tried over and over again to start jobs and go to college, and he always started everything with the utmost optimism, but after a couple of weeks he'd drop out. He did get an MFA in poetry, in a low-residency program that he could work with. No matter how shitty he felt, he loved to go out and be with people. He was so much fun. He met new people with such an openness and again, optimism. He kept expecting good things although he usually didn't get them.
Well, recent events...he'd had a hell of a winter and was thinking about going to a home for mentally disabled adults. It was killing him to lose his freedom, but when you don't have the energy to take care of your own needs, how much freedom to you have anyway? I guess what I'm wondering is what made him decide, "yes, I'm going to do it." Why this time? What made this time different from all the other times?