ROBUST discussion

I bought a cheap e-book the other day. There aren't any major issues - the story was good, well-told, no major glitches or errors. The writer had a nice narritive style - but...

But the writting didn't click - it was almost good, but not quite right. The characters also didn't quite make the grade. Even the plotting was okay...but lacking some how.

It's not like the book was bad - it wasn't bad. In fact I'd be hard put to point out why the book WASN'T good. Yet it failed to be anything more than bland.

The best I can say is that individual elements had potential - but the overall was a 3 - on a 5-star scale.

My rant isn't so much the book, as it is my inability to pinpoint what the issue was in a way to help the writer.

It seems too criptic to say 'there wasn't any tension.' But I'll be a monkey's aunt if I can use any other terminology to explain my dissatisfaction.

I should be able to do better than that.

Really.

Odd, isn't it - how the difference between a book as bland as oatmeal and a perfect page-turner comes down to a quality that can't be easily defined.

But I know it when I see it.

I might be a good candidate for reading the bland book. Page-turners are not as appealing to me as slower stories if the writing is good. Plot doesn't mean a whole lot to me either. What I do like is seeing words perform on the page.

Patricia - It's a romance - a Highlander romance by Marti Talbot.

Thanks to Keryl I can say 'this book needs action.' That what has made it bland. All the action takes place 'offscreen' instead of front and center.


If you are looking for a book to read I can give you the freebee code to mine. WR73F on smashwords.

Thanks, K.A. I'll take you up on that offer.

One of my pet peeves is finding that a book's most crucial scene is off-screen. An author can always tell when s/he reaches that scene: it's the hardest to write, and the one that's most tempting to move off-screen -- which is exactly where it should never be.

A lack of tension can often be traced to a lack of empathy with the characters. If you just don't care about what happens to them, the story, no matter how well written, just lies down and dies on you. Happens as easily to the writer as to the reader. Time to cut and run.

Good points - the writer chickened out. (I'm on a roll with chicken jokes today.)

Patricia - hope you like the story. None of the critical scenes are 'off camera' but it isn't trashy either.

Here is a link to the funniest post I've seen all week.

http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-th...

Andre - you are welcome to a copy as well.

Or anyone who reads this. I'll pull the coupon code in a week or so.

K.A., now that I know there's no trash I may not read it ;-)

(I really, really want that chicken. When the salesman said only a drunk woman had bought one, she should have said, "Right. My mom.")

Hehehe - no trash, but it IS a romance. There has to be a couple hot scenes. After all 'happily ever after' has to follow something. LOL

I know what you mean - I'm having a really hard time keeping myself from all the - um - steel - um - chicken jokes.

AGG - just one - the caption on the one picture should read: the c**k of steel knocks once.

K.A. wrote: "Andre - you are welcome to a copy as well.

Or anyone who reads this. I'll pull the coupon code in a week or so."

Thanks, Kat. Put the code in Giveaways as well, see if you don't get a review or two.

Have I sent you a copy of IDITAROD? It's a romance, but the lovers never even touch hands, never mind graphic sex. If you're pure of heart, you might like it.

Get the code from info at coolmainpress with the commercial extension.

Everyone else on ROBUST is also welcome to a copy.

Thanks Andre - I'll take that copy.

Wasn't able to get into goodreads via facebook. I wonder what went wrong?

Question - how do you have a romance without any romance?

K.A., maybe the answer to the question you asked Andre falls somewhere in the same category as this old saying:

"The only affairs you never get over are the ones you never have."

Oooo - I like that!

I might steal it.

I like the middle ground - a little trashy, lightly spiced, with a bit of an emotional hook to it.

Well, you'll see.

K.A. wrote: "Thanks Andre - I'll take that copy.

Question - how do you have a romance without any romance?"

E-mailed you the code. Anyone else want a copy of IDITAROD a novel of The Greatest Race on Earth or STIEG LARSSON Man, Myth & Mistress? Just say here or send me a message and I'll send you the download codes for Smashwords.

Romance isn't just falling into bed. I walked hand in hand with so many girls in the rain under the old oaks of Stellenbosch...

Anyway, you'll see. Just under the Arctic Circle, if you take your clothes off, pieces of you freeze and fall off.

Patricia Sierra wrote: "K.A., maybe the answer to the question you asked Andre falls somewhere in the same category as this old saying:

"The only affairs you never get over are the ones you never have.""

Affaires of the heart are best left to those who have hearts.

A substantial proportion of my mail about IDITAROD concerns the future of the two chief characters. Do they marry? Which of them wins a future Iditarod? Do their children race? Do they interbreed their dogs? That last one is a very common question which I suspect is a surrogate for people to shy to ask whether...

Romance is all kinds of things - sex is just sex.

I read your critique of the Larsson book - since I never read the "Girl" books did know what to think.

I enjoyed your book - loved the insights. You saved me a lot of money!

I finally figured out why that book bugged me so much - there was no conflict - no tension ANYWHERE in the plot.

So a wrote a polite note directly to the writer. And got an equally polite response - her stories are available for free on some website and she has thousands of fans.

Okay. No Problem.

K.A. wrote: I enjoyed your book - loved the insights. You saved me a lot of money! ."

Ha! Maybe I should price STIEG LARSSON Man, Myth & Mistress at half the cost of the three volumes in Larsson's The Millennium Trilogy and advertise it as a saving.

I can quite see some smart teacher of creative writing like Keith Brooke at Essex giving a class cutting and rewriting practice by telling them to cut the good thriller out of the Millennium Trilogy and fix up the problems of what is left; you could probably schedule a whole semester's work around such a project (1). The printed proof of the book came on Friday, and I dipped into it here and there: those editors really set themselves up to be an easy target, didn't they?

(1) And I imagine the smarter teachers of creative writing have already caught on to the fact that in the new indie dispensation, editing skills in authors will become a key pressure point.

Creative writing teachers allow the likes of James Frey into their classrooms so he can rook students into writing novels for him for $250 each.

They would be better off teaching business management classes.

Have you see this: http://nymag.com/arts/books/features/...

I'll compare the 'bland' book to 'Hollowland' by Amanda Hocking.

Hocking has gotten where she is by keeping her stories rolling - with endlesss conflict. Action scenes, lots of fights with zombies, a lion who eats zombies, a handsome rock star who follows the MC like a puppy - all the YA hooks a girl could ask for in one package.

The Highlander book was a 1 star by comparison.

In hope of some traffic, I put "vampire" into the title of my loss-leader poetry/photography book, actually writing a poem by the same name just so I could justify calling the book "Vampire Poet." Scheme didn't work, but it's probably a good idea to have more than one book available, which is the main reason I did it.

Here is the poem:

Vampire Poet
(with respect to A.E. Houseman)

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a vampire say,
Give nuts and guys and gullet,
but not your poems away.
Give veins away, and arteries,
But not your words for free.
Oh, I was a youthful poet,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-thirty,
The vampire said again,
The words given forth from spirit,
Will draw you down to pain.
They yield you shame and misery.
You know not what you do.
Now I am one-and-forty.
The vampire's words are true.

I like that!

Do vampires not bleed?
-- with apologies to William Shakespeare

Finished reading another 'near miss' yesterday.

This one was very good, except that the MC's husband was a Bible-Thumping, Wife-Beating, Serial-Killer Madman-from-Hell.

Every other character was done better than he was. I sighed with disappointment when I figured out where the book was going.

It was just so 'overkill' compared to the rest of the book. I ranted about overkill a couple of years ago.

http://jordanscroft.blogspot.com/2009...

Gave me a chill to read what you wrote about the world judging us by the pundits on our news channels.

Yeah. Super Squick!

Gives me that near-barf feeling whenever I hear Rush speak.

First of all, by the time the book is published it's too late to, as Kat said, give advice to the author.
Another comment was: In fact I'd be hard put to point out why the book WASN'T good.
With those as givens, I fail to understand how anyone could in good conscience give a mediocre review to a book just because if failed to appeal to personal taste. Reviews are emphatically NOT about the reviewer, they are an assessment of the author's work and can deeply harm someone's chances to succeed. If, indeed, there were numerous typographical errors, grammar, plot or structure errors, then a mediocre review is not only warranted, but obligatory.
But, if you can't find valid reasons to give a mediocre review, then simply send the author a private note and (as they say in medicine "do no harm" by an inaccurate review. That's my take anyway.