Michael

“Do they always flirt with biblical quotes?" Asil asked Tad.

In long-suffering tones, Tad said, "They can flirt with the periodic table or a restaurant menu. We've learned to live with it. Get a room you guys.”
― Patricia Briggs, Frost Burned

“I have mood poisoning. Must be something I hate. ”
― Marilyn Manson

“It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Puns are the highest form of literature.”
― Alfred Hitchcock