Townes v. Z.

“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!”
― Eddie Izzard

“I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!”
― Russell Brand

“There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.”
― Stephen Colbert

“At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c***!”
― John McCain