Tim Deschaines

“Trauma does that, I thought. It’s an explosion with your heart at the center. It changes everything all at once.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Cats don't drink cocktails,' I said.

'Cats don't shoot lasers from their eyes, either, but here we are, Carl. Mama needs a night off.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“So help me god,” I said. “I will abandon you right here and right now if you choose to take up the kazoo.”
― Matt Dinniman, Carl's Doomsday Scenario

“Cats are assholes. I get it. But do you know why people like cats, despite their asshole-ness? It’s because they don’t fucking talk. If they did, and they were all like you, they’d all be extinct because we’d have killed you all by now.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl