Joann Wright

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Big Dumb Eyes: St...
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Neil Gaiman
“What I say is, a town isn’t a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it’s got a bookstore, it knows it’s not foolin’ a soul.”
Neil Gaiman, American Gods

Neil Gaiman
“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

Simon Rich
“I still remember the day I got my first calculator

Teacher: All right, children, welcome to fourth grade math. Everyone take a calculator out of the bin.
Me: What are these?
Teacher: From now on we'll be using calculators.
Me: What do these things do?
Teacher: Simple operations, like multiplication and division.
Me: You mean this device just...does them? By itself?
Teacher: Yes. You enter in the problem and press equal.
Me: You...you knew about this machine all along, didn't you? This whole time, while we were going through this...this charade with the pencils and the line paper and the stupid multiplication tables!...I'm sorry for shouting...It's just...I'm a little blown away.
Teacher: Okay, everyone, today we're going to go over some word problems.
Me: What the hell else do you have back there? A magical pen that writes book reports by itself? Some kind of automatic social studies worksheet that...that fills itself out? What the hell is going on?
Teacher: If a farmer farms five acres of land a day--
Me: So that's it, then. The past three years have been a total farce. All this time I've been thinking, "Well, this is pretty hard and frustrating but I guess these are useful skills to have." Meanwhile, there was a whole bin of these things in your desk. We could have jumped straight to graphing. Unless, of course, there's some kind of graphing calculator!
Teacher: There is. You get one in ninth grade.
Me: Is this...Am I on TV? Is this a prank show?
Teacher: No.”
Simon Rich, Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations
tags: humor

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
Paul Terry

16816 The Coolest Book Club Ever: LBK Chapter — 19 members — last activity Oct 21, 2022 01:14PM
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Discuss favorite books and authors. Find LPL Staff Reviews. And check out the events for author visits, book clubs, and other fun library activities. ...more
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Yay Postcards! We are an International group of people who love reading and mail. Please join our monthly postcard exchange! Newbies Welcome!
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