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“Long-standing togetherness writes permanent changes into a brain's open book. In a relationship, one mind revises another; one heart changes its partner. (144)”
― Thomas Lewis, A General Theory of Love

“The skill of becoming and remaining attuned to another's emotional rhythms requires a solid investment of years.”
― Thomas Lewis, A General Theory of Love

“Even after a peak parenting experience, children never transition to a fully self-tuning physiology. Adults remain social animals: they continue to require a source of stabilization outside themselves. That open-loop design means that in some important ways, people cannot be stable on their own - not should or shouldn't be, but can't be. This prospect is disconcerting to many, especially in a society that prizes individuality as ours does. Total self-sufficiency turns out to be a daydream whose bubble is burst by the sharp edge of the limbic brain. Stability means finding people who regulate you well and staying near them.”
― Thomas Lewis, A General Theory of Love

“People differ in their proficiency at tracing the outlines of another self, and thus their ability to love also varies.”
― Thomas Lewis, A General Theory of Love