

“Protracted loneliness causes you to shut down socially, and to be more suspicious of any social contact, he found. You become hypervigilant. You start to be more likely to take offense where none was intended, and to be afraid of strangers. You start to be afraid of the very thing you need most. John calls this a “snowball” effect, as disconnection spirals into more disconnection. Lonely people are scanning for threats because they unconsciously know that nobody is looking out for them, so no one will help them if they are hurt. This snowball effect, he learned, can be reversed—but to help a depressed or severely anxious person out of it, they need more love, and more reassurance, than they would have needed in the first place. The tragedy, John realized, is that many depressed and anxious people receive less love, as they become harder to be around. Indeed, they receive judgment, and criticism, and this accelerates their retreat from the world. They snowball into an ever colder place.”
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions

“I clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. I’d rather quit. I’d rather be sad. It’s too much work.”
― War of the Foxes
― War of the Foxes

“So instead of seeing your depression and anxiety as a form of madness, I would tell my younger self—you need to see the sanity in this sadness. You need to see that it makes sense. Of course it is excruciating. I will always dread that pain returning, every day of my life. But that doesn’t mean the pain is insane, or irrational. If you touch your hand to a burning stove, that, too, will be agony, and you will snatch your hand away as quickly as possible. That’s a sane response. If you kept your hand on the stove, it would burn and burn until it was destroyed.”
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions

“What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn't know it's dead.”
― War of the Foxes
― War of the Foxes

“What if depression is, in fact, a form of grief—for our own lives not being as they should? What if it is a form of grief for the connections we have lost, yet still need?”
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions
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