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“No, I really don’t,” I said. “That’s the problem.” “But you know that you do not know,” Michael said. “Which is wise.” I snorted. “If knowing how clueless I am is the measure of wisdom, I am freaking Solomon, Walter Cronkite, and Judge
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“It was one of those moments that would have had dramatic music if my life were a movie, but instead I got a radio jingle for some kind of submarine sandwich place blaring over the store's ambient stereo. The movie ofmy life must be really low-budget.”
― Dead Beat
― Dead Beat

“The man once wrote: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had that one mostly right.
I stepped forward, let the door bang closed, and snarled, "Fuck subtle.”
― Changes
I stepped forward, let the door bang closed, and snarled, "Fuck subtle.”
― Changes

“Screw up my life?" He stared at me for a second and then said, deadpan, "I'm a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow." He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, "Do your worst.”
― Dead Beat
― Dead Beat

“When you do something stupid and die, it's pathetic,” I said. “When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic.”
― Dead Beat
― Dead Beat

“Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.”
― Changes
― Changes

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