

“Above all, I didn't want to fall into the trap that Buddhists call idiot compassion - an apt phrase, given John's worldview. In idiot compassion, you avoid rocking the boat to spare people's feelings, even though the boat needs rocking and your compassion ends up being more harmful than your honesty. People do this with teenagers, spouses, addicts, even themselves. Its opposite is wise compassion, which means caring about the person but also giving him or her a loving truth bomb when needed.”
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

“The inability to say no is largely about approval-seeking—people imagine that if they say no, they won’t be loved by others. The inability to say yes, however—to intimacy, a job opportunity, an alcohol program—is more about lack of trust in oneself. Will I mess this up? Will this turn out badly? Isn’t it safer to stay where I am?”
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

“Sharing difficult truths might come with a cost—the need to face them—but there’s also a reward: freedom. The truth releases us from shame.”
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

“But many people come to therapy seeking closure. Help me not to feel. What they eventually discover is that you can’t mute one emotion without muting the others. You want to mute the pain? You’ll also mute the joy.”
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
― Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
Alisa’s 2024 Year in Books
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