David

“You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs. ”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“You insolent prick! You have bloodied me.” “Weird,” I said, lazily leaning on the axe, “that’s what your sister said to me last night.” Definitely got a few oohs from the audience for that one.”
― Eric Ugland, Heir Today, Pawn Tomorrow

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”
― E.B. White