Bernard Jan's Blog - Posts Tagged "grief"
Download My Book for Free!
This is a onetime opportunity! Five days of free download of my book!
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 12:00 AM PDT to Sunday, March 25, 2018, 11:59 PM PDT
Remember those dates, don't miss the opportunity to get A World Without Color, the true story of the last three days with my cat, at no cost for you!
On March 27, 2018 I am pulling my book out of KDP Select so it won't be available as free read on Amazon anymore. This is why this opportunity is the perfect time for you to get your ebook for free and read (and review it too) at your own time and pace.
Even if you don't get A World Without Color for free during those five days from March 21 to March 25, it won't be the end of the world, for you will be able to get it at a discount price. But more about it... later.
Good luck on my book hunt from March 21 to March 25, hope you will enjoy reading it! And don't forget, honest reviews are welcome and appreciated. :)
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Cover photo by Zach Singh, Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
Bernard Jan
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 12:00 AM PDT to Sunday, March 25, 2018, 11:59 PM PDT
Remember those dates, don't miss the opportunity to get A World Without Color, the true story of the last three days with my cat, at no cost for you!
On March 27, 2018 I am pulling my book out of KDP Select so it won't be available as free read on Amazon anymore. This is why this opportunity is the perfect time for you to get your ebook for free and read (and review it too) at your own time and pace.
Even if you don't get A World Without Color for free during those five days from March 21 to March 25, it won't be the end of the world, for you will be able to get it at a discount price. But more about it... later.
Good luck on my book hunt from March 21 to March 25, hope you will enjoy reading it! And don't forget, honest reviews are welcome and appreciated. :)
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Cover photo by Zach Singh, Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
Bernard Jan
In Memoriam: Marcel
I absorb into my memory your big, yellow-green and somewhat tired eyes, knowing that a little longer, a little bit longer, and their flame will disappear. Although they will still be open, they will no longer watch me, nor will I see them. Never again....
How much longer will I miss you? How much longer I will love you?
If there is forever, then forever it is.
A World Without Color is a story of my one and only cat Marcel. As true as life can be.
If you ever felt and loved deeply, this is the story for you. A memoir of everything you experience if you are not afraid to love unconditionally, completely.
Those of you with your own stories will understand what I am saying. Those of you who are still considering or have just started to write their stories, don't be afraid to love. Spread it and embrace everything that comes with it. Because then it is real.
Please buy my book A World Without Color on Amazon or subscribe to my blog Muse to download it for free. Let's remember Marcel together. Thank you.
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2018
The dream refuses to give me forgiveness. I won't be granted mercy. I stay awake in agony while minutes tick by into the future.
Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
How much longer will I miss you? How much longer I will love you?
If there is forever, then forever it is.
A World Without Color is a story of my one and only cat Marcel. As true as life can be.
If you ever felt and loved deeply, this is the story for you. A memoir of everything you experience if you are not afraid to love unconditionally, completely.
Those of you with your own stories will understand what I am saying. Those of you who are still considering or have just started to write their stories, don't be afraid to love. Spread it and embrace everything that comes with it. Because then it is real.
Please buy my book A World Without Color on Amazon or subscribe to my blog Muse to download it for free. Let's remember Marcel together. Thank you.
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2018
The dream refuses to give me forgiveness. I won't be granted mercy. I stay awake in agony while minutes tick by into the future.
Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
Marcel: 13 Years Later
Thirteen is my lucky number. But not when it’s the number of the years I’ve been missing you. Not when I go through life without you. My brother, my friend, my everything.
My heart is full and empty, of memories and sadness. Despite losing you, I’m a rich man, thanks to you.
You are not here anymore but your monument is still standing. As long as I stand, and maybe even a little longer. Thanks to everyone who reads about you and loved you.
A World Without Color is your home now. This is where we live, love.
Thank you for everything.
My thoughts come rushing back like raging currents of mountain rivers that do not stop for anything or anyone. Hurrying with a roar to their finish line, completely self-sufficient. Each word I make immortal here must be engraved with the dedication of a blind stonemason who, just by sense of touch and guided by indestructible faith, creates from the shapeless mass a work which present generations, but also those who come after, will admire. Those who are alive today, and their children who are just born, setting the foundation for new generations. This is our written monument and I snuggle up against it, blinded by the pain inflicted upon me by every minute that takes us into the future. The future is what I want to avoid at any cost, selfishly keeping the present so these moments last as long as possible. Not thinking about you and the relief it will bring you. We are both on the road of no return. Do you think so too? Do you also feel at least a fraction of regret we will part soon, with no guarantee and no promise that, in the blink of an eye or the distant future, we might meet each other again? Tell me, dearest....
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2019
Please read our story on Amazon.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Bernard Jan
My heart is full and empty, of memories and sadness. Despite losing you, I’m a rich man, thanks to you.
You are not here anymore but your monument is still standing. As long as I stand, and maybe even a little longer. Thanks to everyone who reads about you and loved you.
A World Without Color is your home now. This is where we live, love.
Thank you for everything.
My thoughts come rushing back like raging currents of mountain rivers that do not stop for anything or anyone. Hurrying with a roar to their finish line, completely self-sufficient. Each word I make immortal here must be engraved with the dedication of a blind stonemason who, just by sense of touch and guided by indestructible faith, creates from the shapeless mass a work which present generations, but also those who come after, will admire. Those who are alive today, and their children who are just born, setting the foundation for new generations. This is our written monument and I snuggle up against it, blinded by the pain inflicted upon me by every minute that takes us into the future. The future is what I want to avoid at any cost, selfishly keeping the present so these moments last as long as possible. Not thinking about you and the relief it will bring you. We are both on the road of no return. Do you think so too? Do you also feel at least a fraction of regret we will part soon, with no guarantee and no promise that, in the blink of an eye or the distant future, we might meet each other again? Tell me, dearest....
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2019
Please read our story on Amazon.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Bernard Jan
14 Years Since You’ve Been Gone
I still remember you. And the day we parted. I will never forget the moment my heart turned into ashes.
And the pain. And agony. And sorrow for the days we won’t share, ever again.
It’s painful to even think about it. But it’s a comfort knowing we had each other. And love we shared that I still feel for you.
You spread love and good vibrations wherever you appear as you have all these fourteen years and nine months. I don’t know about you, but if someone gives us as much time as a gift, it won’t be enough for me. On second thoughts, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thanks to you I could survive the dementia, illness and death of my grandmother, who vegetated for years before she found her deserved peace. Thanks to you I managed to cope every day with atrocious images of animals raised and slaughtered for human consumption, massacred in laboratory experiments, skinned for their fur... or those unwanted and discarded before they were run over on the roads. You were one of them too—discarded. Unwanted. One of those sentenced to death immediately after birth. Luck has smiled on you in the end. If I’m to be honest, luck favored us. Many times I thought: if it wasn’t for you, this family might have already gone to hell. But you keep us together. As the gravity of the home planet holds its satellites, not allowing them to wander into the universe of the unknown.
I hope many of my readers and fans will read your story. Because you deserve it. Because your life was not in vain, you were the best gift I could have hoped for from this life.
Thank you for everything.
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006–April 19, 2020
A World Without Color, the true story of the last three days we spent together, is still on Amazon as an eBook and paperback. Waiting for the world to know about you.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Follow me on Twitter.
Bernard Jan
And the pain. And agony. And sorrow for the days we won’t share, ever again.
It’s painful to even think about it. But it’s a comfort knowing we had each other. And love we shared that I still feel for you.
You spread love and good vibrations wherever you appear as you have all these fourteen years and nine months. I don’t know about you, but if someone gives us as much time as a gift, it won’t be enough for me. On second thoughts, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thanks to you I could survive the dementia, illness and death of my grandmother, who vegetated for years before she found her deserved peace. Thanks to you I managed to cope every day with atrocious images of animals raised and slaughtered for human consumption, massacred in laboratory experiments, skinned for their fur... or those unwanted and discarded before they were run over on the roads. You were one of them too—discarded. Unwanted. One of those sentenced to death immediately after birth. Luck has smiled on you in the end. If I’m to be honest, luck favored us. Many times I thought: if it wasn’t for you, this family might have already gone to hell. But you keep us together. As the gravity of the home planet holds its satellites, not allowing them to wander into the universe of the unknown.
I hope many of my readers and fans will read your story. Because you deserve it. Because your life was not in vain, you were the best gift I could have hoped for from this life.
Thank you for everything.
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006–April 19, 2020
A World Without Color, the true story of the last three days we spent together, is still on Amazon as an eBook and paperback. Waiting for the world to know about you.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Follow me on Twitter.
Bernard Jan
15 Years Without You
I don’t care about the dates and numbers anymore. They have less and less importance as I am growing older. Other things are becoming priorities. But I won’t forget the day you left us. I will remember that date as long as there is a spark of sanity left in me.
I miss you, Marcel.
***
The more I get into the depth of your character and dive into the sea of kindness with which you abound, the harder for me is everything I have done to sin against you. Everything I denied you.
Forgive me.
Forgive me. It was a beautiful day last week. I think it was Friday. The sun warmed like no other day of the year. There was a pleasant wind, and the scents of flowers and sprouted grass rose from the ground. I thought I would pick fresh green grass for you as soon as it grew a little more. I thought I’d surprise you with this gift. But I will never give it to you, love, and that makes me feel like garbage. If I had known. If I had only sensed—if I had wanted to admit to myself!—you could have tasted the first grass of this spring, no matter how short and unripe its leaves were. But I was a coward and ran from reality! I stole from you the last touch of just-awakened nature, because not even the trees had fully bloomed yet.
***
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006–April 19, 2020
A World Without Color, the true story of our last three days together, still lives on Amazon as an eBook and paperback. Waiting for the world to read about you.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Follow me on Twitter.
Bernard Jan
I miss you, Marcel.
***
The more I get into the depth of your character and dive into the sea of kindness with which you abound, the harder for me is everything I have done to sin against you. Everything I denied you.
Forgive me.
Forgive me. It was a beautiful day last week. I think it was Friday. The sun warmed like no other day of the year. There was a pleasant wind, and the scents of flowers and sprouted grass rose from the ground. I thought I would pick fresh green grass for you as soon as it grew a little more. I thought I’d surprise you with this gift. But I will never give it to you, love, and that makes me feel like garbage. If I had known. If I had only sensed—if I had wanted to admit to myself!—you could have tasted the first grass of this spring, no matter how short and unripe its leaves were. But I was a coward and ran from reality! I stole from you the last touch of just-awakened nature, because not even the trees had fully bloomed yet.
***
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006–April 19, 2020
A World Without Color, the true story of our last three days together, still lives on Amazon as an eBook and paperback. Waiting for the world to read about you.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Follow me on Twitter.
Bernard Jan
