Bernard Jan's Blog - Posts Tagged "marcel"
Marcel and Oswald
The original idea for writing this post was to say thanks and reflect with a few figures on the launch and the journey of my book A World Without Color in 2017. That I will do as planned, but first I must let you know about something that happened on the last day of 2017.
With deep regret and sadness in my heart I have to tell you that Oswald, the beautiful cat from the cover of my book, has passed away. I learned that in the early afternoon hours of December 31st, 2017 and spilled many tears that day.
Zach Singh, a New York-based photographer, and his cat Oswald brought the story of my beloved cat Marcel to life. Marcel had passed away on April 19, 2006 and left me heartbroken. Last year I brought him back to life again by publishing his story in English so I could share it with all of you.
Oswald and Zach are the two great guys on the photo of my book cover who gave the prettiest face and character to my book. I am eternally grateful to Zach for letting me use it. My joy was honest, true and profound as much as is my sadness now at losing Oswald. Oswald is no longer with his beloved family. Instead, together with Marcel, while he keeps on living in my book and in the hearts of those who loved and still love him.
Thanks to Oswald, Marcel and my love for him are alive for you too, and thanks to Marcel and his story, Oswald will live as long as my book lives. And that, my dear readers, depends on you and me.
Thanks to you and only you, A World Without Color had a good start last year.
I published it as e-book on July 1 and as paperback on September 13, 2017.
Its two awesome trailers (B/W and the blue edition) produced by Mario Kožar MKM Media, who also designed the great book cover, were released on October 29, 2017.
A World Without Color was one of the nominees in the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards in the Memoir category for the book of the year and also took part in four book cover contests.
My book cover was reviewed by The Book Designer in the e-Book Cover Design Awards for July 2017 while thanks to you it won the 3rd place in Cover Wars in Author Shout one-week contest, the 2nd place in the AllAuthor Cover of the month August contest and gold or the 1st place in the Literary Fiction category of AUTHORSdb contest! Thank you all for your votes!
You supported it in the Anniversary Giveaway on the Animal Bliss blog when two lucky winners out of 320 entries got my e-book!
Those of you who bought it or read it for free with Kindle Unlimited rewarded A World Without Color with great and touching reviews: 24 reviews on Amazon, 6 reviews on Amazon UK and 27 reviews and 36 ratings on Goodreads!
For that I am thankful to you, my fellow readers, authors and dear supporters! Thank you for accepting my book so well, thank you for reading and reviewing it and for spreading the message all over the Internet and your social network platforms!
There is one thing I learned from the past and my first six months as an indie author. Indie authors are not competitors, they are friends and supporters (at least those I know). We are encouragement to each other and that's the nicest thing about self-publishing and being an indie. Together with our faithful readers and honest reviewers, we are one body that lives and breathes for good books. And that is fantastic!
My sincere gratitude goes to each and every one of you for giving a chance to my true story of the last three days I spent with my cat Marcel. Thank you for accepting and loving it, thank you for shedding tears with me.
If they were alive, both Marcel and Oswald would purr their gratitude to you, dancing with their tails up around your legs or jumping into your lap for a cuddle or the feels-so-good scratching behind their ears and under their chins.
Although they are gone and no longer with us, you can still try to do that with the power of your imagination and with cuddles through the lines and pages of A World Without Color.
I thank you for your continuous support to A World Without Color in the new year and hopefully years to come and to my new books and other projects.
Have a fantastic year full of great books, love each other and love and care for your and other animals!
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
With deep regret and sadness in my heart I have to tell you that Oswald, the beautiful cat from the cover of my book, has passed away. I learned that in the early afternoon hours of December 31st, 2017 and spilled many tears that day.
Zach Singh, a New York-based photographer, and his cat Oswald brought the story of my beloved cat Marcel to life. Marcel had passed away on April 19, 2006 and left me heartbroken. Last year I brought him back to life again by publishing his story in English so I could share it with all of you.
Oswald and Zach are the two great guys on the photo of my book cover who gave the prettiest face and character to my book. I am eternally grateful to Zach for letting me use it. My joy was honest, true and profound as much as is my sadness now at losing Oswald. Oswald is no longer with his beloved family. Instead, together with Marcel, while he keeps on living in my book and in the hearts of those who loved and still love him.
Thanks to Oswald, Marcel and my love for him are alive for you too, and thanks to Marcel and his story, Oswald will live as long as my book lives. And that, my dear readers, depends on you and me.
Thanks to you and only you, A World Without Color had a good start last year.
I published it as e-book on July 1 and as paperback on September 13, 2017.
Its two awesome trailers (B/W and the blue edition) produced by Mario Kožar MKM Media, who also designed the great book cover, were released on October 29, 2017.
A World Without Color was one of the nominees in the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards in the Memoir category for the book of the year and also took part in four book cover contests.
My book cover was reviewed by The Book Designer in the e-Book Cover Design Awards for July 2017 while thanks to you it won the 3rd place in Cover Wars in Author Shout one-week contest, the 2nd place in the AllAuthor Cover of the month August contest and gold or the 1st place in the Literary Fiction category of AUTHORSdb contest! Thank you all for your votes!
You supported it in the Anniversary Giveaway on the Animal Bliss blog when two lucky winners out of 320 entries got my e-book!
Those of you who bought it or read it for free with Kindle Unlimited rewarded A World Without Color with great and touching reviews: 24 reviews on Amazon, 6 reviews on Amazon UK and 27 reviews and 36 ratings on Goodreads!
For that I am thankful to you, my fellow readers, authors and dear supporters! Thank you for accepting my book so well, thank you for reading and reviewing it and for spreading the message all over the Internet and your social network platforms!
There is one thing I learned from the past and my first six months as an indie author. Indie authors are not competitors, they are friends and supporters (at least those I know). We are encouragement to each other and that's the nicest thing about self-publishing and being an indie. Together with our faithful readers and honest reviewers, we are one body that lives and breathes for good books. And that is fantastic!
My sincere gratitude goes to each and every one of you for giving a chance to my true story of the last three days I spent with my cat Marcel. Thank you for accepting and loving it, thank you for shedding tears with me.
If they were alive, both Marcel and Oswald would purr their gratitude to you, dancing with their tails up around your legs or jumping into your lap for a cuddle or the feels-so-good scratching behind their ears and under their chins.
Although they are gone and no longer with us, you can still try to do that with the power of your imagination and with cuddles through the lines and pages of A World Without Color.
I thank you for your continuous support to A World Without Color in the new year and hopefully years to come and to my new books and other projects.
Have a fantastic year full of great books, love each other and love and care for your and other animals!
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
In Memoriam: Marcel
I absorb into my memory your big, yellow-green and somewhat tired eyes, knowing that a little longer, a little bit longer, and their flame will disappear. Although they will still be open, they will no longer watch me, nor will I see them. Never again....
How much longer will I miss you? How much longer I will love you?
If there is forever, then forever it is.
A World Without Color is a story of my one and only cat Marcel. As true as life can be.
If you ever felt and loved deeply, this is the story for you. A memoir of everything you experience if you are not afraid to love unconditionally, completely.
Those of you with your own stories will understand what I am saying. Those of you who are still considering or have just started to write their stories, don't be afraid to love. Spread it and embrace everything that comes with it. Because then it is real.
Please buy my book A World Without Color on Amazon or subscribe to my blog Muse to download it for free. Let's remember Marcel together. Thank you.
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2018
The dream refuses to give me forgiveness. I won't be granted mercy. I stay awake in agony while minutes tick by into the future.
Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
How much longer will I miss you? How much longer I will love you?
If there is forever, then forever it is.
A World Without Color is a story of my one and only cat Marcel. As true as life can be.
If you ever felt and loved deeply, this is the story for you. A memoir of everything you experience if you are not afraid to love unconditionally, completely.
Those of you with your own stories will understand what I am saying. Those of you who are still considering or have just started to write their stories, don't be afraid to love. Spread it and embrace everything that comes with it. Because then it is real.
Please buy my book A World Without Color on Amazon or subscribe to my blog Muse to download it for free. Let's remember Marcel together. Thank you.
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2018
The dream refuses to give me forgiveness. I won't be granted mercy. I stay awake in agony while minutes tick by into the future.
Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!
Bernard Jan
Marcel: 13 Years Later
Thirteen is my lucky number. But not when it’s the number of the years I’ve been missing you. Not when I go through life without you. My brother, my friend, my everything.
My heart is full and empty, of memories and sadness. Despite losing you, I’m a rich man, thanks to you.
You are not here anymore but your monument is still standing. As long as I stand, and maybe even a little longer. Thanks to everyone who reads about you and loved you.
A World Without Color is your home now. This is where we live, love.
Thank you for everything.
My thoughts come rushing back like raging currents of mountain rivers that do not stop for anything or anyone. Hurrying with a roar to their finish line, completely self-sufficient. Each word I make immortal here must be engraved with the dedication of a blind stonemason who, just by sense of touch and guided by indestructible faith, creates from the shapeless mass a work which present generations, but also those who come after, will admire. Those who are alive today, and their children who are just born, setting the foundation for new generations. This is our written monument and I snuggle up against it, blinded by the pain inflicted upon me by every minute that takes us into the future. The future is what I want to avoid at any cost, selfishly keeping the present so these moments last as long as possible. Not thinking about you and the relief it will bring you. We are both on the road of no return. Do you think so too? Do you also feel at least a fraction of regret we will part soon, with no guarantee and no promise that, in the blink of an eye or the distant future, we might meet each other again? Tell me, dearest....
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2019
Please read our story on Amazon.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Bernard Jan
My heart is full and empty, of memories and sadness. Despite losing you, I’m a rich man, thanks to you.
You are not here anymore but your monument is still standing. As long as I stand, and maybe even a little longer. Thanks to everyone who reads about you and loved you.
A World Without Color is your home now. This is where we live, love.
Thank you for everything.
My thoughts come rushing back like raging currents of mountain rivers that do not stop for anything or anyone. Hurrying with a roar to their finish line, completely self-sufficient. Each word I make immortal here must be engraved with the dedication of a blind stonemason who, just by sense of touch and guided by indestructible faith, creates from the shapeless mass a work which present generations, but also those who come after, will admire. Those who are alive today, and their children who are just born, setting the foundation for new generations. This is our written monument and I snuggle up against it, blinded by the pain inflicted upon me by every minute that takes us into the future. The future is what I want to avoid at any cost, selfishly keeping the present so these moments last as long as possible. Not thinking about you and the relief it will bring you. We are both on the road of no return. Do you think so too? Do you also feel at least a fraction of regret we will part soon, with no guarantee and no promise that, in the blink of an eye or the distant future, we might meet each other again? Tell me, dearest....
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2019
Please read our story on Amazon.
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
Bernard Jan
Marcel: 17 Years Without You
It’s been all said already, many times, through the rivers of tears and one story that keeps living even 17 years after your departure.
I wish I could have gone with you that day, but I am still here, remembering and trying to keep the memory of you alive—your monument—while I still breathe the air we used to breathe together.
I love you and I miss you. I always will. You were my best friend ever.
***
I stand on the balcony, and three floors below me, with noise and shudders of the building, the traffic glides down the street. Carried by light drifts, the clouds float on the sky, promising rain. I watch Saša and you leaving, pushing your way through the illegally parked cars and bulky waste carried out by tenants because they no longer need it.
It is April 19.
I follow you as you are getting more distant and smaller, shaking from crying, with the body tired of life. Saša has to step on the street to bypass the waste and the cars parked on the sidewalk, and then I lose sight of you. Of the blue bag with yellow handles in which your still warm and curled up body slept. When after a few steps he returns to the sidewalk, I lose him, too.
I gather strength and make the final decision. I strain my thoughts and force my body to move.
I’m on the balcony. I move along its length, not stopping until the end, until I come to the railing. On the table I have left a will with clear instructions, so that animals are not deprived of their rights in case something goes wrong and my plan fails. On top of it I put your favorite photo and the syringes I won’t need anymore.
Now I am free.
Now I live at last.
And I look the enemy in the eyes.
I challenge death to the last duel. Defying it with the strength, I wish to believe, of not-wasted life. My actions will speak for or against me. And one monument I built. Now completed, it will beautify life for someone. Some will grieve and cry, others may be enraged. Many won’t understand. That’s the way with people. Always.
***
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006–April 19, 2023
Please continue reading our true story, A World Without Color, as an eBook or a paperback.
Thank you.
BJ
bernardjan.com
Subscribe to my mailing list.
Follow me on Twitter.
I wish I could have gone with you that day, but I am still here, remembering and trying to keep the memory of you alive—your monument—while I still breathe the air we used to breathe together.
I love you and I miss you. I always will. You were my best friend ever.
***
I stand on the balcony, and three floors below me, with noise and shudders of the building, the traffic glides down the street. Carried by light drifts, the clouds float on the sky, promising rain. I watch Saša and you leaving, pushing your way through the illegally parked cars and bulky waste carried out by tenants because they no longer need it.
It is April 19.
I follow you as you are getting more distant and smaller, shaking from crying, with the body tired of life. Saša has to step on the street to bypass the waste and the cars parked on the sidewalk, and then I lose sight of you. Of the blue bag with yellow handles in which your still warm and curled up body slept. When after a few steps he returns to the sidewalk, I lose him, too.
I gather strength and make the final decision. I strain my thoughts and force my body to move.
I’m on the balcony. I move along its length, not stopping until the end, until I come to the railing. On the table I have left a will with clear instructions, so that animals are not deprived of their rights in case something goes wrong and my plan fails. On top of it I put your favorite photo and the syringes I won’t need anymore.
Now I am free.
Now I live at last.
And I look the enemy in the eyes.
I challenge death to the last duel. Defying it with the strength, I wish to believe, of not-wasted life. My actions will speak for or against me. And one monument I built. Now completed, it will beautify life for someone. Some will grieve and cry, others may be enraged. Many won’t understand. That’s the way with people. Always.
***
In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006–April 19, 2023
Please continue reading our true story, A World Without Color, as an eBook or a paperback.
Thank you.
BJ
bernardjan.com
Subscribe to my mailing list.
Follow me on Twitter.
