Jim Wilson's Blog

This post was a ministry letter from Barb Friedman.Originally written November 2003.

About two months ago, I met a mother and her blind and autisticson, his younger sister, and his baby sister. This family had previously been inAmerica and had returned to their homeland. Now they were back in the States fortheir son’s sake. The schools in their homeland were not equipped for children withdisabilities like his. The family knew that in America their son could get the helphe needed. America attempts to make it possible for those who are handicapped tolive as if they were not.

The mother asked me if God was punishing her because her son wasborn bind and with autism. Immediately I thought about that Jewish man inJohn’s gospel who was born blind:

“As he went along, he saw a manblind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or hisparents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed inhis life’” (John 9:1-3).

After Jesus miraculously healed this Jewish man, he believed thatJesus was the Messiah, the one God promised to come, and received eternal life.His blindness from birth, rather than being a curse was “a severe blessing.” Itled to his salvation.

“The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent” (John6:29).

“No, God is not punishing you,” I told this mother. “Rather, hehas given you this son as a very special gift. Though all children are gifts fromGod, a child with a disability is even more so.”

She looked at me with surprise, disbelief and “with all ears.”I told her that children born with disabilities are not the norm—they are not common.Therefore, this makes these children special gifts. I expressed that God reallyintended to bless her and the family when he gave them this son with his handicaps.What many would consider a curse was really meant to be “a severe blessing.”

I anticipated this mother’s needs. Surely children born with disabilitieswill require special care and treatment, as well as much more love, muchmore patience, and much more wisdom. I explained that when God entruststo a family one of these special gifts, He certainly wants to give them all the“much mores” they will need in order to do what is best.

Then I compared human love, patience, and wisdom, which have limits,to God’s love, patience, and wisdom, which have no limits. This mother was wellaware of her limits, her inadequacies and shortcomings related to her son and hisdisabilities. “Your son’s needs have caused you to have needs that will requireGod’s help as well as His comfort. When you believe in God and in Jesus, God willgive you all the much more love, patience, and wisdom that you need in order todo what is best for your son and family. And to do it with joy! When you believe,this will be the first blessing your son will bring to the family.” She smiled atme.

At our next meeting, this mother asked, “What exactly is sin?”At our third meeting, she asked, “What really happened when Jesus died on the cross?”She was already in Heaven’s harbor waiting to dock. Well, she got docked! May Goduse her peace and joy and her new life in Christ to draw her family and others tothe living God and the love of God.

Recently, she told me how others feel so sorry for her becauseof her son’s situation and the suffering it must bring to the family. She said tome, “But we are not suffering because of our son. We have peace and joy.” I toldher to use this as an opportunity to explain how she came to believing in the livingGod because of her son and how her son really has been a gift from God and a blessingfrom God.

“Praise be to the God and father ofour Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, whocomforts us in all our trouble…. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow overinto our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

If any of you are in some difficulty or having trouble of thekind that seems too much, too big, too awful for you, remember that God gives overflowingcomfort. There is no suffering that is too much, too big, too awful that God’s comfortcannot drown. He is “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.”

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

When it comes to living as a Christian, there is a differencebetween being and doing.

“God is love” (1 John 4:8). That is who He is.

“God so loved the world that He gave…” (John 3:16). That iswhat He did. God did out of who He is.

Like God, we also do out of who and what we are. “Forout of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). When we put theemphasis on what we do instead of what we are, we have thingsbackwards.

Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your HeavenlyFather is perfect” (Matt. 5:48). That is a “be” command, not a “do” command.

Here is another “be” command: “But just as He who called you isholy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written, ‘Be holy,because I am holy’” (1 Peter 1:15-16).

The model for being perfect and being holy is God. This beingprecedes our doing.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Dear Sam,

Your friend told me of the visit you had together. He saidthat you were very busy with classes and in getting involved with your job. Iknow he appreciated it, but was concerned as I am that it might take time awayfrom two very important things—private time with God reading in the Scriptures,and fellowship with other believers. This fellowship includes such things asprivate one-on-one fellowship with another Christian, and certainly a goodchurch.

If you have not read the New Testament, I really encourageyou to read it through, covering about 3 to 4 chapters a day. By reading 4chapters a day you will finish the New Testament in two months; two chapters aday—a little over four months. But the months go by anyhow, and you might aswell have read it all. Your faith will increase. Your anxiety will lessen. Itwill be very good for you.

If you have read the New Testament through already thisyear, I encourage you to do something like this: take one of the books, preferablyone of the short books like 1 John, which has five chapters, or 1 Peter, whichhas five, or James, and just read the book through every day for a week. Youwill get so much out of it the first time you read it, then more the secondtime because it will reinforce what you read the day before, and you will seesome additional truths. This is a very good way to study. Read and reread rightin order, and you will begin to grasp and understand the meaning, and theteaching of the book will become part of you—not just in your head, but reallypart of your life. So when it comes to decisions or actions you make, they willbe biblical ones; they will be right ones.

In addition to this study, here is a plan for reading thewhole Bible through in the course of the schoolyear. It starts today.

God has looked after you so far, and I know that He willcontinue to do so.

In Christ’s Love,

Jim Wilson

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Dear John,

I have thought of you fairly frequently in the last fewmonths. I have thought mostly of our telephone conversation. The conversationbothered me, and I have wanted to write to you for some time, but I also wantedmy letter to be received by you—so I probably put it off for that reason—afraidthat it wouldn’t be received.

I am thinking of the second letter of Peter where he writes,“Therefore I intend always to remind you of these things, even though you knowthem and are firmly established in the truth you now have” (2 Pet. 1:12). CertainlyI believe that you have since long ago been established in the truth, and thethings I share will be a reminder, not new thinking.

What concerned me in the telephone conversation was that yousaid that you had never needed anybody, and your wife needed to be needed. That’sprobably pretty close to true. What isn’t true is that we all need each other. Weare part of the Body of Christ, and the family is a very close part of theBody. And because of your upbringing, you became strong and independent—but thatdidn’t mean that you didn’t need someone. It just meant that you thought youdidn’t need anyone. We need each other very much. Although you and I never seeeach other, I need you and you need me. And when you hurt, I hurt. We are partof the Body.

The second thing that concerned me was that you are verycontent to be there alone with your dog. One of the things that is true aboutdogs is that they are loyal regardless; they are faithful regardless how wetreat them. They don’t talk back, they don’t complain; they are always loyal. Peopleare not like that. Wives are not like that. Children are not like that. [Youknow from your time in the military that] people in the army aren’t like that. Theyhave been taught in boot camp to say, “Yes, Sir.” My own children didn’t gothrough boot camp. My wife didn’t go through boot camp. No, there is somethingdifferent about children and a wife. It is just not true with dogs or people inthe Army. The relationship in the family is much more intimate. It needs aspecial other kind of treatment.

The next thing that bothered me was my very real knowledgeof the Enemy. It will be very unusual if he doesn’t have a woman waiting in thewings for you since you have separated from your wife. Either you are so superunusual or the Enemy has lost his wisdom. She may already be there.

Back to the teaching that your wife needed to be needed. If thatis a given, then you, as a loving husband, should have met her need. And youstill can, and you still should. It may be contrary to what is normal to you,but it is your responsibility.

You thanked me for the tape on bitterness and said that youhad listened to it and appreciated the thoughts but they just weren’t applicable.Maybe not. But when we were talking on the telephone, you weren’t rejoicing inthe Lord, so something is wrong in your life, independent of what is going onin other people’s lives. There is no reason to let your joy be affected byother people’s sins. Nor should you count on your joy being fulfilled by yourenvironment—quietness in the home and a dog. The Scripture tells us in Habakkuk3:17-18 not to lose our joy when there is a bad year, and it tells us not to rejoicewhen good things are happening, as in Luke 10:17. Our joy is in our salvation. Ourjoy is in the Lord.

In much love,

Jim Wilson

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

“I’m having trouble finding joy, mainly because I just feellike my prayers haven’t been answered. I pray to be a better Christian, but myintrospection is getting worse. I start to be afraid that maybe there is not aGod answering my prayers, and all my joy disappears. I’ve read How toMaintain Joy and the article on introspection in How to Be Free fromBitterness, but I still feel empty. I am praying for help, but I still feellike I am going downhill. I just want my joy to return.”

Dear Friend,

Reading something is not the same as applying it. If youhave read the article on introspection, you know from experience and from thearticle that introspection is accusatory and a downer. The devil is theaccuser. The Holy Spirit is the convicter. You are asking for what you aregetting when you introspect. It is not a godly practice. When you are temptedto introspect, turn from it like any other temptation. Come into God’s presenceas Isaiah did in chapter 6.

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated ona throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Abovehim were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces,with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they werecalling to one another: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earthis full of his glory.’ At the sound of their voices the doorposts andthresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. ‘Woe to me!’ I cried. ‘Iam ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of uncleanlips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.’ Then one of theseraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongsfrom the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, ‘See, this has touchedyour lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.’ Then I heard thevoice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And Isaid, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” (Isaiah 6:1-8).

Here is the sequence: 1) the Presence, 2) conviction of sin(not accusation), 3) confession of sin, 4) forgiveness of sin, 5) ready to go.

All of these happened in quick succession. If Isaiah hadbeen introspecting, he would never have been ready to go.

Here is an exercise.

1.    Read Ephesians 1 and 2.

2.    Write down in order everything the believer hasin Christ.

3.    Ask yourself the question, “True or false?”

4.    Thank God for each of these truths thatyou have and are in Christ.

5.    Keep on thanking God.

6.    Pay no attention to your feelings. Bad feelingsare the result of believing the liar, Satan. Good feelings are the resultof believing God. Thank God!

In the Lord Jesus Christ,

Jim Wilson

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

“But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me,the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as anexample for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life” (1 Timothy1:16).

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as someunderstand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, buteveryone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

The Lord showed His unlimited patience for oneperson, the apostle Paul, in order to bring him to Himself. His patiencecontinues, not for one person, but now for everyone in order to bring them toHimself.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

 

This post is an excerpt from How to Be Free from Bitterness . 

“And my God will meet all your needs according to Hisglorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

A woman was made by God to be loved, protected, providedfor, and made secure. However, there are reasons a woman may not feel loved, protected,or secure. Security is often a combination of objective truth and subjectivefeeling. What I mean by that is that some women have lost their parents, their husbands,their children, their food, and their clothing. Objectively they have a reasonto be insecure, but subjectively they might not feel insecure. At the sametime, it is possible to feel insecure and imagine what is objectively necessaryto fill this need.

Here is an example: Suppose a woman feels insecure. Thefeeling is so strong that she is convinced that it is also objective truth. Awoman’s great need is to fill up that emptiness. She thinks that a man willfill it. That is partly true. However, the need is so great that the man shegets cannot fill it. He cannot because he is also empty and is looking for awoman to fill his emptiness. Two empty, insecure people marry each other to gettheir own needs met. It does not work.

Now the woman is even more insecure. She thinks that if shehas a baby that will meet her need. Again, that is partly true. Women were madeto have babies. However, babies are needy, demanding creatures. The insecurewoman now has greater demands on her than she is able to cope with, especiallyif there are multiple children.

Now she is insecure and frazzled. She thinks she needs anicer home with nicer furniture. That takes a lot of money. She has to work aswell as her husband.

Now she is tired, insecure, and frazzled. She turns toclothes, music, parties, and maybe a different man. Her husband is notromantic. He copped out early in the marriage because his needs were not beingmet.

This is a description of many women I am acquainted with.Some of them have been married more than once, plus other men. Some of them areinto possessions. They are finding out, rather late, that a man, children,house, possessions, and parties do not fill up their emptiness and give themthe security they are looking for.

This need has to be met, but the selfishness that insists onit being met ensures that it will not be met even if she gets the man, thechildren, the house, and possessions. The selfishness has to go first. It hasbecome a tight little fist in her soul. That selfish, tight fist wizens anddestroys the person with it.

Before God, the selfishness has to be repented of, that is,confessed, forsaken, and renounced. Then she will have a wonderful joy, peace,and freedom which God will give to her. This will make her very secure inChrist.

As far as security in this world, the provision comes from acloseness to her father, mother, brothers, sisters, and extended family. Next,it comes from her brothers and sisters in Christ who are loving and giving. Itcomes from her being loving and giving to all kinds of people, even if they donot return the love. It could come from her husband, but not from a futurehusband. I say this because she should not get married in order to get secure.She should be secure before she gets married. Then she will not bedisillusioned and hurt in her marriage.

How does a woman become secure?

She must confess her attitude, not just her action. She mustdecide, with the grace of God, to love her father, mother, brothers, andsisters. Her love towards any of them cannot be conditional. She should notsay, “I will love him if…” No “ifs.” This love includes kind speech, hugs,giving, and helping actions. She should extend this love to more and morepeople. “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one diedfor all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who liveshould no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and wasraised again” (2 Cor. 5:14–15).

A woman’s long-term objective should be to be holy, loving,kind, joyful, etc. She should also want to have a loving family and lovingchildren and grandchildren. She should want to have a “Well done, good andfaithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord.”

This solution assumes that the woman is already a Christian,that she has by faith received Jesus Christ, the Son of God, as Lord andSavior. She has passed from death to life. That is the beginning of securityfor everyone, men and women.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must bekind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gentlyinstructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to aknowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape fromthe trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will” (2 Tim.2:24-26).

Look back at verse 22: “Flee the evil desires of youth andpursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on theLord out of a pure heart.”

Verse 23: “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupidarguments, because you know they produce quarrels.”

I used to love to argue. That didn’t last long. I found fromthis verse that I wasn’t supposed to. Another reason it ended was I discoveredthat I could win an argument, but I would not win the person I was arguingwith. The servant of the Lord must not quarrel (v. 24, NKJV).

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God”(2 Corinthians 1:20).

God has promised. The promises are fulfilled in Christ. We say Amento the promise and the fulfillment in Christ. This is all to the glory of God.

What about the promises we make? Let’s look at the next verse:

“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ.He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in ourhearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come” (2 Corinthians 1:21).

That is how we keep our promises. He does it. He makes us standfirm in Christ.

He anointed us.

He set his seal of ownership on us.

He put His Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.

The Holy Spirit anoints, seals, and guarantees (see Ephesians1:14).

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

“Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but isearthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfishambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom thatcomes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate,submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James3:15-17).

Wisdom! Two kinds from two places with two very differentcharacteristics.

One kind of wisdom: of men, wisdom of the world, wisdom ofthis age.

The place: earthly, of the devil.

The character: bitter envy, jealous, unspiritual, selfishambition, boastful, denies the truth, disorder, every evil practice, eloquence,“wise” and persuasive words.

The second kind of wisdom: God’s secret wisdom, the wisdomof God.

The place: heaven.

The character: pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive,full of mercy, good fruit, impartial, sincere, simple, powerful, notsophisticated, expressed in preaching the cross, humility, spiritual, hidden inthat it is not known by the world, communicated by the Spirit of God expressingspiritual truth using spiritual words, foolishness to those who are perishing,used to admonish and teach in order to present every man perfect in Christ,represents Jesus Christ Himself.

The natural man just does not understand God’s wisdom,because spiritual truth requires spiritual discernment.

For two years, I was the communication officer on adestroyer in the Korean War. There were thousands of messages transmitted andreceived. We always knew what frequency to be tuned to in order to receivemessages, and also we knew which frequencies to transmit on. The enemy did notknow this. If he found out which frequency, it still did not do him any good,because all messages were encoded, each one differently, with the code changingevery day.

The enemy of our souls and all those enslaved by him do notknow the frequency or the code. The wisdom of God is hidden from them. I hadbeen reading the New Testament every day for 20 months. It did not make anysense to me. Then in October 1947 I was born again by the Spirit of God. Atthat time, the Bible became English. I could understand it.

“No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has beenhidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. None of therulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not havecrucified the Lord of glory” (1 Corinthians 2:7-8).

Just think, if the enemy could have understood that thecrucifixion of Christ meant salvation for the world, he would not havedone it.

You, as a Christian, know the frequency and the code. Usethem! And for those who lack any needed wisdom we know this:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who givesgenerously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But whenhe asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave ofthe sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he willreceive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all hedoes” (James 1:5-8).

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships